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Secondary School Expenses?

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  • Secondary School Expenses?

    Here is the scenario:
    • Sole custody of child for past year.
    • Father moved 4 hours away without notice. Will not disclose his address.
      Has phone call with child (initiated by child) 4 x a yr. He was aware of her wish to attend this specialty high school.
    • Child auditioned for vocal arts program. Very talented and currently wishes to pursue in future.
    • Child was successfully accepted into the specialty arts program.
    • The school has an annual fee of $250 and states that lessons with a private coach is strongly recommended so that students do not damage their vocal chords.
    • He pays $300 a month in cs, and 41% of Sec 7 - will not pay anything more than court ordered march break and summer camp costs. Has not seen his child since 2015. Birthdays and Christmas come and go.


    Should these lessons and fees be considered Section 7 if specifically for this program and so the child does not damage her vocal chords?

    I have asked for assistance to which he responded that he has paid enough child support during the past 10 years. I've asked for him to reconsider his position with no response. Looking for insight and/or recommendations?

  • #2
    Is your daughter likely to become a singing professional? What kind of training has she had up to this point?

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    • #3
      That is her dream. She has been involved in several productions during the last 12 months and competitions in the coming months.

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      • #4
        The $250 per year wouldnt be necessarily a s7 but the lessons might be. Unfortunately you need his agreement and if he wont give it you cant force him. Court would cost you more than the lessons.

        Is there a way for reduced sessions or possibly training with someone on the cheaper end? Or even training with exercises and online resources?

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        • #5
          The coach she has been training with in prep for the auditions is considered on the lower end with compromising quality. This child has never been involved in extra curricular because her father would not take her when he did have access.

          He abandoned her, and believes that as long as he cannot be found and has no custody or access, that his obligation remains to be minimal cs and nothing more. I'm thinking long term - the expenses have only just begun!

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          • #6
            Has he updated his income? Do you think it has changed? You could attempt to update cs, get a new order and argue for these costs. Then, if successful and you live in a province with an enforcement agency, file it for enforcement.

            At the end of the day though, you cant get blood from a stone. He will have to atone for what he has done to his child and how the relationship broke down. Trying to make him do something will only upset you and cause stress and unhappiness. Even intact families struggle to help their kids live their dreams. A court can order him to pay it but getting the money is a separate issue in itself.

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            • #7
              That is her dream. She has been involved in several productions during the last 12 months and competitions in the coming months.
              How long has she had this dream? Are these professional productions or local groups? What are her competition results up to this point?

              The real question is: How serious is this dream? How can you prove that this dream is serious AND attainable?

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              • #8
                Given the scenario you've laid out (Dad moved away, has very little involvement in Kid's life and doesn't want more, doesn't want to pay any more S7), I think the likelihood of getting money from Dad is pretty small. This is because Dad is a jerk, not because the voice lessons are unimportant. Because singing lessons and the speciality high school are new things in Kid's life, I think it would be difficult to argue in court that Kid has a reasonable expectation of support from both parents for these activities based on past history.

                So I guess the question to you is: how much time and effort do you want to put into pursuing this matter legally, with an uncertain outcome? And could that be better spent on voice lessons for Kid? There may be the possibility of a sliding scale or some kind of work exchange where Kid helps out at the voice studio in exchange for lessons, or gets a part-time job to help pay? There's nothing shameful about not being able to afford extracurriculars.

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                • #9
                  Rockscan - that is very sage advice and insight! He has been paying cs based on earning EI in 2015. He has been back to work as of March 2016 and earning $60k, but only paying $300 a month cs. We will have to do our annual adjustment and my guess is that he will not be very motivated to move off of $300 a month any time soon and will require my returning to court for another order. I will wait this one out and deal with everything at the same time.

                  With no address, will have to arrange for him to be served at his workplace - if he is actually working there.

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                  • #10
                    You will need to get on updating. Even if it takes a while, if you make the move and he refuses, it starts the clock ticking on arrears. He is obligated to update when his income changes. This is the one thing my partners lawyer is adamant about and he referred us to the supreme court case called DBS. Its also the one that discusses blame worthy conduct and obligations of support recipients.

                    If you have a way of contacting him, send a request that way and warn him you will move to update .

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                    • #11
                      Sorry to say... They are not special nor extraordinary. If the child is going to Etobicoke School for the Arts or Cawthra Park (as examples) thousands of students attend them.

                      I would encourage your child to take up software engineering as a profession or one that has a higher graduate to employment ratio. Talent based "industries" are not easy to deal with. Furthermore, being in the arts is horrific at times. Body image is always questioned. Etc... Etc... Etc...

                      It may be nice and heartwarming to go to an "arts" school but, the ratio of graduates to actual careers is probably a smaller % than what they are for kids making it in the NHL.

                      So, I give you the same answer I give to the "hockey parents" who come here thinking their kid's hockey is S7. It is not. They are not going to get into the NHL and your daughter is not going to be a broadway star. It is easy for me to say this because statistics work in my favor on this one. I have just about as much chance at winning the lottery as your child has in obtaining a successful career in the arts.

                      Good Luck!
                      Tayken

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