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  • passport disaster

    I'm in the passport chaos with my former spouse. Despite our order, she would not attend with me at the passport office to get the child's passport and we had to threaten a motion to get her to attend. She attends with the wrong documents and doesn't bring the child's birth certificate that is required. They require long birth certificate forms and the small copy is not accepted. This was in the passport application that she two weeks prior.

    My court order travel may not happen, it cannot happen without a passport.

    Why are some parents so evil and just so down right ridiculous? What motivates them to be this evil?

    Or is it just that Canada is just that ridiculous of a country with such bizarre of a seriously broken family legal system that is in need of some serious fixing.

    There does not seem to be only court remedy available to me to make this travel happen. The mom is pissing all over it.

    How do you father's deal with these ridiculous evil acts of custodial mothers? Why does our system let them get away with it? How is any of this in the best interests of children?

  • #2
    That's just awful. When are you scheduled to leave? Hopefully you can get a rush put on things and get the passport in time.

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    • #3
      Originally posted by arabian View Post
      That's just awful. When are you scheduled to leave? Hopefully you can get a rush put on things and get the passport in time.
      That's kind of impossible with a co-parent that says she can attend when she is available to do so.. next thing I know she is able to attend 4 days after the plane takes off...

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      • #4
        You should have had the order written that her consent is not required for the passport. This is the problem with relying on an ex spouse. Can I ask why you booked the trip without having all the correct documents?


        Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
          You should have had the order written that her consent is not required for the passport. This is the problem with relying on an ex spouse. Can I ask why you booked the trip without having all the correct documents?


          Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

          She has custody , only she could apply, I guess unless the court ordered otherwise? As she has custody, only she could apply for the long birth certificate that is required for the passport as well. She has sole custody. I didn't know she didn't have this document until we attended the passport office recently - she attended after we threatened a motion if she didn't attend with me.

          I booked it because the court order said we would both attend to expedite the passport and the issuing of the order was expedited as well. If it was to be a problem then we could come back with an emergency motion for an order for her to attend and apply.

          Didn't think she would be this ridiculous. My lawyer knows the type of person he's dealing with on the other side now. I trust this lesson well help with all future orders.

          There is a history to this, when we were to agree with times with supervised center previously she wouldn't agree on anything with them and we had to get an order against her for her to comply

          when additional and holiday access was to be agreed between us she wouldn't agree to anything unless it's on her terms, she wouldn't even agree on sharing christmas or new years alternated! until we brought a motion.

          Some people are just too selfish and have zero empathy and remorse. It's a cruel world we live in.

          Comment


          • #6
            Even though you had the order for passports or consent to travel, passports take time, even if you expedite them... making sure you have the correct documents can take time. Long form birth certificates take 5-10 days to be delivered... even if you apply as an emergency it takes 5 days and you need proof of emergency. Travel wouldn't be emergency. So if she doesn't have these documents expect 5-15 business days for them to be delivered. Unfortunately I don't think you can hold mom accountable for not having this document, unless she was ordered to have the long form?

            This may be a trip the child won't make it on if the date is fast approaching. You won't get a long form birth certificate and passport before the new year I wouldn't think.


            Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Berner_Faith View Post
              Even though you had the order for passports or consent to travel, passports take time, even if you expedite them... making sure you have the correct documents can take time. Long form birth certificates take 5-10 days to be delivered... even if you apply as an emergency it takes 5 days and you need proof of emergency. Travel wouldn't be emergency. So if she doesn't have these documents expect 5-15 business days for them to be delivered. Unfortunately I don't think you can hold mom accountable for not having this document, unless she was ordered to have the long form?

              This may be a trip the child won't make it on if the date is fast approaching. You won't get a long form birth certificate and passport before the new year I wouldn't think.


              Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
              Couple things.

              The mom ignored my request to meet at the passport office and when nudged by lawyers she wasn't available to go till the Friday. Delay delay delay. Had she not ignored my request we could have ever gone sooner. Passport can offer next day turn around for extra fee. I had also asked if child had passport and for her to apply back in November. The request was ignored. I asked again when we were going to court and it was said for me to start and she will do what she has to do when she has time. Ridiculous attitude. I was forced to bring a motion to travel. She is only complying on terms and cooperating when induced by motions or threats of motions. She has no interest in facilitating this vacation. She has been telling child were not going and that we never agreed for us to go after I told child we are going after mom and I agreed.

              Got her to submit the application fir certificate online for 5 day turn around passport office said they usually turn around within 2-3 business days and we could come back with the reciept to expedit the passport.

              When I contacted her to go back with reviept she says the passport office never said that and will let me know when she recieves the document and then can attend the passport office when she has time.

              This is Feer is going to be the case that she will get the document within 3 days and say she never got until 6 days later and can't go to the passport office until 9 days later.

              I'm thinking to bring an emergency motion laying out her ignorance of passport issue and seeking an order for her to attend at passport office immediately to show the reciept, and to attend immediately upon receiving the documents and failing which the vacation will get pushed back and she will be responsible for all damages.

              What mom wouldn't facilitate their child going to Disney land with their dad? What mom would frustrate such vacation and hope that dad will contribute towards s7 expenses after the unnecessary undue hardship.

              She had the passport application 2 weeks prior and knew exactly what documents she needed. I'm stoked..not.

              What do you even say to your kids after such a disaster of a Christmas holiday ? What do you do? Just stay home cause you're not in debt and wasted thousands of dollars on something because the mom is in business to piss all over your vacation plans?

              Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk
              Last edited by trinton; 12-17-2016, 08:39 PM.

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              • #8
                A hard lesson learned. The lesson learned is not to be so open with information with your ex. If you had just said we need to get Childs passport in order in case either of us want to travel then Maybe she would have followed through. Once you had the passport you could have announced your plans to Disney.

                Never play all your cards in one hand.

                It's a sad reality that some parents would let their child loose out on something fun just to spite the other parent.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
                  A hard lesson learned. The lesson learned is not to be so open with information with your ex. If you had just said we need to get Childs passport in order in case either of us want to travel then Maybe she would have followed through. Once you had the passport you could have announced your plans to Disney.

                  Never play all your cards in one hand.

                  It's a sad reality that some parents would let their child loose out on something fun just to spite the other parent.
                  Yeah right that still wouldn't have worked. Trust me she will always come up with a lie and an excuse to be not cooperative and treat me as if I am a dog on a leash. Must custodial moms do.

                  I'm going to keep asking and go in with an emergency motion so either she attends or I'm give permission to apply without her. Not letting $5000 go down the gutter.

                  Anyone have any other ideas on how to resolve this mess ? I really don't want the child and I to have to stay home all holiday because of the moms crap show.



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                  • #10
                    Worst-case scenario is you cancel and plan for trip in Spring.

                    Of course you have carefully documented your ex's actions (non-action) which were clearly not child-focused. Your daughter will be disappointed and likely very angry with your ex but then that would be your ex's problem to deal with.

                    You have to ask yourself if your ex has the capability to reimburse you for money you are out-of-pocket for as well as your costs of lawyers for this whole debacle? Going for an emergency motion for what amounts to vacation plans might not be well-received by court. Just something to think about.

                    You do have cancellation insurance?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by arabian View Post
                      Worst-case scenario is you cancel and plan for trip in Spring.

                      Of course you have carefully documented your ex's actions (non-action) which were clearly not child-focused. Your daughter will be disappointed and likely very angry with your ex but then that would be your ex's problem to deal with.

                      You have to ask yourself if your ex has the capability to reimburse you for money you are out-of-pocket for as well as your costs of lawyers for this whole debacle? Going for an emergency motion for what amounts to vacation plans might not be well-received by court. Just something to think about.

                      You do have cancellation insurance?
                      Yes I do have cancellation insurance. Hey travel agency my former spouse and the custodial parent of my child is crazy and sat on her us for a week after she was ordered by the courts to cooperate with me to get a passport for our child and then attended the passport office when threatend to be re sued by my lawyer but showed up at the passport office 3 days latter without the required documents. She then didn't want to expedit the passport and started playing games to halt and eliminate my chances of getting the child's passport in time. Therefore I cannot travel anymore and I need my money back. I apologise for the inconvenience, I did everything I possibly could to make this trip happen.


                      It really is sad because my child has discussed her plans with all her peers and teachers at her school and we even packed all our suite cases.

                      I think if I shown the notes to the courts they may just order me to go in and apply and for mom to immediately give me the birth certificate on receipt. She should have it by Friday the latest and I should be able to pickup the passport on Friday or Tuesday, failing which my travel schedule to be pushed back.

                      It is an urgent issue that needs to be addressed and can only be addressed by the courts given that the mom is reluctant to do what the courts hasn't ordered her to do. StubbornNess at best.

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                      • #12
                        (If your ex is anything like my ex all the orders in the world don't do any good. Only thing he ever understood was G A R N I S H E E. We all know that attempting contempt is expensive and often useless because all they have to do is simply state they misunderstood the directions of the court or some other lame excuse).

                        In other cases a parent pulling this stunt would only add fuel to the other party's move on sole custody. I hope you have a wise lawyer who gives you good advice after looking at the PROS and CONS beforeundertaking any more court action. Seems to me that many of your attendances in court and signing off of agreements are riddled with error and/or oversight. So therefore, be very careful on what you do next.

                        Sometimes silence can be golden... keep cards close to you... quit texting unless you and your lawyer have a solid plan of action agreed upon.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by arabian View Post
                          (If your ex is anything like my ex all the orders in the world don't do any good. Only thing he ever understood was G A R N I S H E E. We all know that attempting contempt is expensive and often useless because all they have to do is simply state they misunderstood the directions of the court or some other lame excuse).

                          In other cases a parent pulling this stunt would only add fuel to the other party's move on sole custody. I hope you have a wise lawyer who gives you good advice after looking at the PROS and CONS beforeundertaking any more court action. Seems to me that many of your attendances in court and signing off of agreements are riddled with error and/or oversight. So therefore, be very careful on what you do next.

                          Sometimes silence can be golden... keep cards close to you... quit texting unless you and your lawyer have a solid plan of action agreed upon.
                          Yes, my lawyer's great. I trust him. He knows when to go to court and when to be civil. He's a smart ass. But I like to hear from other parents as well, to see what has worked for them, what hasn't, and what they did, what they wish they did, etc.

                          Tell me more about this keeping your cards close to you?

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Keeping your cards close to you - sometimes when we are upset we retaliate with threats of "your ass is toast the next time I see you in court" sort of remarks. Your ex then knows she has accomplished what she set out to do - fuck up your plans and upset you.

                            You have repeatedly communicated your request for her to attend with you at passport office so you can get documentation that your daughter travel with you on vacation. She failed to comply.

                            There is no sense in continuing an email/text war with her. I'd let her squirm and wonder what your next move is going to be (if you do anything at all). Let your lawyer handle this now. Be sure to request extra access time.... always request extra time.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Trinton .. follow Arabian's advice. She was a huge factor is assisting me throughout my case.. a very bright individual.

                              Comment

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