Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Can children make a decision at 12 years old?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Can children make a decision at 12 years old?

    My ex wants to get a court order that my child will make his own decisions where to go when she is 12. My Ex is having a hard time handling the child not because she is bad, she is actually very well behaved, but because she wants to come live with me. I said that it should be done immediately as I wil gladly take her but she said wait until she is 12 so she can make her own court order??? What is she talking about?

  • #2
    What are the current access arrangements? How long separated?

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by deadwood View Post
      My ex wants to get a court order that my child will make his own decisions where to go when she is 12. My Ex is having a hard time handling the child not because she is bad, she is actually very well behaved, but because she wants to come live with me. I said that it should be done immediately as I wil gladly take her but she said wait until she is 12 so she can make her own court order??? What is she talking about?
      Children should not be making decisions about where they live. They should be told that they will be spending 50% of the time with their mother, and 50% of the time with their father. Parents are the ones who need to decide if it will deviate from the above, not the children.

      Your kid is not even 12, why is she involved in this discussion at all? She is not an adult, stop sticking her with adult-level decisions.

      Comment


      • #4
        There is no magic age.

        Usually at 12 the judge will begin to consider the wishes of the child, this however does not mean that just because the child is 12 they get to do as they wish.

        Comment


        • #5
          The judge will hear what a 12 or 13 year old has to say about living arrangements. They'll take it into consideration but it's not necessarily a deciding factor. But a better course of action is a home study. It's an impartial review, they meet with both parents, the child, sometimes will meet with the physician, guidance counsellor, etc anyone involved with the child and will make recommendations based on everything.

          It's important to discuss things to a certain point with the kdis but not everything. Children also have a habit of playing the divorce card, telling each parent they want to live with them. Counselling is probably a good idea but a home study would give a judge a clear picture of how the child really feels.

          Comment


          • #6
            Do you (whoever reads this) think it's good or bad for a child to change homes so often (every other week or whatever 50/50 arrangements could be)?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Mother View Post
              Do you (whoever reads this) think it's good or bad for a child to change homes so often (every other week or whatever 50/50 arrangements could be)?


              Gotta love the stability argument. I'm amazed that so many mothers hate their children so much that they would sacrifice them on the altar just to squeeze out a few extra child support dollars.

              Oh, wait, I'm making assumptions. Tell us mother, what is your opinion on whether it is good for kids to switch homes?

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by Mother View Post
                Do you (whoever reads this) think it's good or bad for a child to change homes so often (every other week or whatever 50/50 arrangements could be)?
                I think it is best for the child if they have as much opportunity as possible to have two parents. And the court seems to support that as well. There may be some exceptions for babies who are breast feeding.

                It is selfish to try and keep your children from having a full relationship with their father.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Mother View Post
                  Do you (whoever reads this) think it's good or bad for a child to change homes so often (every other week or whatever 50/50 arrangements could be)?
                  Yes.

                  And the courts and government agree, hence the maximum contact provisions in the legislation. While 50/50 hasn't been legislated in here as the starting point, many other jurisdictions have such legislation (Australia, some places in Europe and a few US States).

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I don't think there's anything wrong with a 50/50 arrangment if both parents are willing to make it work. A relationship with both parents is very important (of course assuming they are responsible loving parents).

                    In many cases, one party fights a 50/50 arrangement because child support will be reduced or eliminated.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by DowntroddenDad View Post
                      I think it is best for the child if they have as much opportunity as possible to have two parents. And the court seems to support that as well. There may be some exceptions for babies who are breast feeding.

                      It is selfish to try and keep your children from having a full relationship with their father.
                      I couldn't say it better myself.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Agree with everyone! 50/50 is best!

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by elaineb13 View Post
                          In many cases, one party fights a 50/50 arrangement because child support will be reduced or eliminated.
                          If you could provide some statistical evidence for your statement, that would be awesome. Otherwise, you are just stating an unfounded opinion. I could just as easily opine that in many cases, one party fights against 50/50 arrangement because they want child support. But my opinion would be no more accurate than yours.

                          Most parents want to be part of their kids lives. This is not a bad thing. During the marriage roles may have been established and one parent may have done more child rearing. But post divorce roles change and the idea of not seeing ones child frequently will push parents to want a more balanced arrangement.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            You got it all wrong Janus!
                            FYI: I am here for a father but in general terms I am not for either of them. I am for the truth and (you can start laughing here) for the best interest of a child.

                            Perhaps you've missed this post of mine in the Low balling thread, but this is what I wrote there:
                            "And personally speaking, by default and unless violense against a child took place, the split of the custody MUST be 50/50 because otherwise it is pure disctrimination. Why mothers have more rights than the fathers?

                            FYI: I am a woman and a mother myself and know a lot of fathers way better than any mother".

                            Someone nominated this as a post of the week LOL.

                            Hope now my position is clear to you.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Mother View Post
                              You got it all wrong Janus!
                              FYI: I am here for a father but in general terms I am not for wither of them. I am for the truth and (you can start laughing here) for the best interest of a child.
                              Mustapic v. Capin, 2012 ONSC 3208 (CanLII)
                              Date: 2012-06-08
                              Docket: FS-04-052373-01
                              URL: CanLII - 2012 ONSC 3208 (CanLII)
                              Citation: Mustapic v. Capin, 2012 ONSC 3208 (CanLII)

                              [23] I do not intend to summarize all of the evidence I heard and read at this trial in search for the elusive “truth” of this family’s history. I have indeed considered all of the evidence which the parties ably marshalled at the trial, in arriving at this decision.

                              [24] This decision will not vindicate one parent and disparage the other. This family did not get to where they are by the simplistic analysis presented by the father, which is, but for the mother’s bad behaviour the father would have a perfectly wonderful relationship with his three children. No, the issues in this family are far more complex and subtle than that. The “truth” will not set this family free, because there is no one single truth. Only the parties, working together in a therapeutic setting, can set this family free.
                              Just reminding everyone how the court often views "the truth" of matters in family law disputes.

                              I always find it interesting when people mix "the truth" with "best interests of the child". Don't seek truth in family court, seek settlement, resolution and balance and compromise. Then you don't have to focus on "the truth", allegations, hearsay and all the other nonsense that often gets washed away by the justices hearing the matter.

                              As we see here in some of the best jurisprudence (my opinion of course) and advice that any parents in a highly conflicted custody and access dispute should consider... Even prior to seeking out "the truth"...

                              Good Luck!
                              Tayken
                              Last edited by Tayken; 06-07-2013, 10:37 AM.

                              Comment

                              Our Divorce Forums
                              Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                              Working...
                              X