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Going to mediation, can you force your ex's new partner to show up

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  • Going to mediation, can you force your ex's new partner to show up

    So I have a crazy ex, we are going to mediation next week to discuss our plan.

    She sent an email to my new partner that her lawyer is going to serve her to show up for mediation.

    Can she actually legally do this?

    There is no concern or past history of conduct with my new partner. We have only been seeing each other for a few weeks.

  • #2
    It isn't likely. And until the subpoena shows up at your door, I wouldn't worry about it.

    And the more I think about it, the more BS it is. Mediation isn't a subject to the same rules as court is. It is a place where parties are supposed to negotiate a common settlement to their litigation.

    IMO, the ex is full of it. Her lawyer may send a letter requesting that your new g/f be there. If they do, I would either a) ignore it or b) email a reply to her lawyer advising that your new g/f is not a party to the matter, and as such has no legal standing in it. As such, it would be inappropriate for them to be there. As the dispute is solely between the ex and yourself, your partner will not be attending.

    Then stop listening to the legal BS coming from your ex. She obviously hasn't been called to the bar, and nothing that comes out of their mouth will be beneficial to you.

    Comment


    • #3
      HammerDad, once again thank you, you are the man.

      Comment


      • #4
        Emphatically not. Your ex has no power to compel people to come to mediation. Your g/f does not have to attend any sessions, and indeed she shouldn't attend any because the issues to be mediated are between you and your ex, not between your ex and your girlfriend or anyone else. Like HammerDad says, this is not court where parties are trying to prove something or other and might legitimately need testimony from witnesses. Mediation is all about coming up with a settlement that the parties (you and your ex) can live with.

        As far as I know, the ex's lawyer can't "serve her to show up for mediation", any more than he can "serve her to order a frappuccino at Starbucks next Friday". This is just bafflegab.

        If by some remote chance, your ex does have a legitimate issue with your new g/f that needs to be resolved, the ex should resolve that issue in a separate process, not by turning the mediation between you and her into some kind of drama-filled three-ring circus.

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        • #5
          thanks guys...I would buy you all a beer.

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          • #6
            Um... no. The only time you subpoena a g/f would be if you are filing for divorce based on adultery. That would be during a trial.

            Your ex is merely jealous of your re-partnering. Hope you keep your g/f totally out of the situation.

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            • #7
              Does'nt sound too promising for a succesful mediation if your ex is making demands before ypu,have even sat down. My daughter's ex teied to demand she pay him some money he had decided she owed him as a condition to him coming tomthe mediation table. The mediator cancelled the mediation as he stated one party was not entering into mediation in an appropriate mindset.

              But I hope it does go well for you.

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              • #8
                It will not go well, I already know that. Last time we had it, she stomped out because she wasn't getting her way. Judge ordered this before we go back to court in September.

                As of yesterday, my ex has called my phone 15 times. Inappropriately email my gf at her work about 10 times. Highly inappropriate.

                Threatened in the email that she will sue for child abuse because she knows in her hearts of hearts my gf called her bipolar in front of her son. (she is golden with my son).

                Also, the new threat is that she will not agree to having my new gf around my son unless gf takes the Parenting After Separation course. (this is required you take this in Alberta if you are to file divorce/child custody application for YOUR children).

                So then I asked her, hmmm you are requiring her to take this but, you the mother in the last 3 years missed every opportunity to take a course on how to manage relationships post seperation with the kid.

                Go figure...do as I say, not what i do.


                Originally posted by Beachnana View Post
                Does'nt sound too promising for a succesful mediation if your ex is making demands before ypu,have even sat down. My daughter's ex teied to demand she pay him some money he had decided she owed him as a condition to him coming tomthe mediation table. The mediator cancelled the mediation as he stated one party was not entering into mediation in an appropriate mindset.

                But I hope it does go well for you.

                Comment


                • #9
                  what you are describing is harassment. Block your email and report the matter to your local RCMP detachment. Get a file number from the desk sergeant.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Thank you, we were debating that. Now we will do it.
                    Originally posted by arabian View Post
                    what you are describing is harassment. Block your email and report the matter to your local RCMP detachment. Get a file number from the desk sergeant.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      It sounds like mediation is going to collapse of its own accord, because your ex is clearly not ready to mediate in good faith. Just go through the motions, let the thing fall apart (as they will, if you have a halfway competent mediator), and then return to court if you have to, having fulfilled the obligation to try mediation.

                      Comment

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