Hello all,
not sure what to make of this incident tonight. My ex has send me hostile and harrassing texts and emails on a regular basis since our son and I moved out. We have joint legal custody and he has EOW visitation. In recent months he has acquired a new job but has refused to provide a benefit card for our son, forcing me to pay out of pocket and has moved, without informing me of a new address, has changed the drop off pick up location without consulting me, has denied my request to see court ordered life insurance, has barred me from calling our son on his weekends, and refused to split the christmas holidays fairly, he was also convinced that I did not have a christmas for our son (which of course I did) and has sent me long texts ranting about it and calling me everyname in the book. He has been sending me angry and degrading emails and texts on a regular basis, about every 3-5 days, never about our sons welfare or to see how he is, just emails insulting me and how horrible I am. I have been limiting what I say to him and wont respond to any of those emails, I only respond to emails directly about an issue with our son and apprise him of any upcoming health issues or school issues. I have always provided him with access and have never denied a visit or been late at an exchange. I've never berated him and I have not asked for anything. However he also has a 15 year long battle with depression, sometimes taking his meds, sometimes not. He has gone into catatonic states before where he won't talk, communicate, move, etc. He will go off the radar if he's depressed and wont contact anyone for hours and no one will know where he is or able to locate him. Tonight his gf texted me very concerned and saying something was wrong, wanting to know if he had contacted me. I said he had left a voicemail but I didn't see it until after our son was in bed so I thought we'd just call in the morning. She said whe was calling the police as she thought something was wrong. I immediately called him and he answered, I tried to be careful and discreet about it, I asked him if he was ok, he said no, then he said yes, then he said no. I said we've been through this before and I can help him if he wants to talk, he said no, he doesnt want my help, or to talk to me, he just wants to make sure that I take good care of our son from now on, and that I'll always be there for him, then he began sobbing. I tried to calm him down, but he was just too hostile for that. I told him that if he's thinking of hurting himself its not worth it, we can get some counselling for everyones sake. He just kept repeating over and over that this is going to end and that I need to be a good mom to our boy. At that point I was alarmed at his distress, it seemed worse than the other times so I put him on the phone with our son, who's only 5, just to keep him on the line. I called the police on the other phone who were able to locate him because he was on his cell with our son. They found him at a hotel where he was planning on spending the night, 20 minutes from home. He went politely and peacefully with him however he made some concerning comments so they took him to a hospital for evaluation. When the police were at my house, they went through my phone and saw the texts and said that they appeared agressive and dangerous, and why haven't I reported them before. I said that in the past when I've reported him over incidents nothing was done and he came down on me worse, and vindictavely, I've been hoping to stay somewhat invisible in order to not inflame the situation. They told me however to get an incident number and to call my lawyer, particularly because he's supposed to have access next weekend. So my worry is first and foremost our son, who is only 5 years old. How can I let him just go to dads 6 days after what sounded like he was intending to hurt himself? However I don't want him to not have contact with his dad, I think it would make it worse. Can you ask the court for your ex to have /evaluation therapy and supervised visitation and no overnights in a situation like this until it feels safe? I cannot stomach the thought that I'm sending my 5 year old unprotected to someone who is not stable and capable of harm.
not sure what to make of this incident tonight. My ex has send me hostile and harrassing texts and emails on a regular basis since our son and I moved out. We have joint legal custody and he has EOW visitation. In recent months he has acquired a new job but has refused to provide a benefit card for our son, forcing me to pay out of pocket and has moved, without informing me of a new address, has changed the drop off pick up location without consulting me, has denied my request to see court ordered life insurance, has barred me from calling our son on his weekends, and refused to split the christmas holidays fairly, he was also convinced that I did not have a christmas for our son (which of course I did) and has sent me long texts ranting about it and calling me everyname in the book. He has been sending me angry and degrading emails and texts on a regular basis, about every 3-5 days, never about our sons welfare or to see how he is, just emails insulting me and how horrible I am. I have been limiting what I say to him and wont respond to any of those emails, I only respond to emails directly about an issue with our son and apprise him of any upcoming health issues or school issues. I have always provided him with access and have never denied a visit or been late at an exchange. I've never berated him and I have not asked for anything. However he also has a 15 year long battle with depression, sometimes taking his meds, sometimes not. He has gone into catatonic states before where he won't talk, communicate, move, etc. He will go off the radar if he's depressed and wont contact anyone for hours and no one will know where he is or able to locate him. Tonight his gf texted me very concerned and saying something was wrong, wanting to know if he had contacted me. I said he had left a voicemail but I didn't see it until after our son was in bed so I thought we'd just call in the morning. She said whe was calling the police as she thought something was wrong. I immediately called him and he answered, I tried to be careful and discreet about it, I asked him if he was ok, he said no, then he said yes, then he said no. I said we've been through this before and I can help him if he wants to talk, he said no, he doesnt want my help, or to talk to me, he just wants to make sure that I take good care of our son from now on, and that I'll always be there for him, then he began sobbing. I tried to calm him down, but he was just too hostile for that. I told him that if he's thinking of hurting himself its not worth it, we can get some counselling for everyones sake. He just kept repeating over and over that this is going to end and that I need to be a good mom to our boy. At that point I was alarmed at his distress, it seemed worse than the other times so I put him on the phone with our son, who's only 5, just to keep him on the line. I called the police on the other phone who were able to locate him because he was on his cell with our son. They found him at a hotel where he was planning on spending the night, 20 minutes from home. He went politely and peacefully with him however he made some concerning comments so they took him to a hospital for evaluation. When the police were at my house, they went through my phone and saw the texts and said that they appeared agressive and dangerous, and why haven't I reported them before. I said that in the past when I've reported him over incidents nothing was done and he came down on me worse, and vindictavely, I've been hoping to stay somewhat invisible in order to not inflame the situation. They told me however to get an incident number and to call my lawyer, particularly because he's supposed to have access next weekend. So my worry is first and foremost our son, who is only 5 years old. How can I let him just go to dads 6 days after what sounded like he was intending to hurt himself? However I don't want him to not have contact with his dad, I think it would make it worse. Can you ask the court for your ex to have /evaluation therapy and supervised visitation and no overnights in a situation like this until it feels safe? I cannot stomach the thought that I'm sending my 5 year old unprotected to someone who is not stable and capable of harm.
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