hi everyone..
i am the common-law step mom of an 11 year old girl who lives with me and her dad and whom i love dearly (like my own child). her parents have been separated for 5 years and she has been living with her dad for 3 years now (i moved in a year ago and have known her for 2 years). custody has not been settled leagally and they have been managing without the courts up until now. my step daughter wants to live with mom and we had considered letting her go... she has a big fantasy about what it would be like to live with mom. the problem arises with her mom wanting to take her back this june and move her about an hour's drive away...normally this wouldn't be such a big deal except that her mom has a new boyfriend (very new) and has just moved in with him only 2 days ago. her mom has not been the model for emotional health (yells and screams and is mean to her daughter) and just getting past this to allow their child to go has been challenging but now with this strange new man in the picture i have to say that this worries me tremendously. we know nothing about him and they won't tell us how long they have known each other (my step daughter confirmed its only been one to two months) the ex is a very vindictive person and has already begun to poison her daughter's mind against us (she came home from the weekend asking why we were stopping her from going to live with mom) we asked her mom to give it 6 months to a year to see if their relationship would be stable before their daughter moved in (reasonable request i thought) but the mom said no with no chance for discussion. i think her dad should file for custody but her dad spoke with a councellor he had sent his daughter to for a while who said he should just let her go. i think this is bad advice... i think her mom is placing her in a potentially very dangerous situation. any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
i am the common-law step mom of an 11 year old girl who lives with me and her dad and whom i love dearly (like my own child). her parents have been separated for 5 years and she has been living with her dad for 3 years now (i moved in a year ago and have known her for 2 years). custody has not been settled leagally and they have been managing without the courts up until now. my step daughter wants to live with mom and we had considered letting her go... she has a big fantasy about what it would be like to live with mom. the problem arises with her mom wanting to take her back this june and move her about an hour's drive away...normally this wouldn't be such a big deal except that her mom has a new boyfriend (very new) and has just moved in with him only 2 days ago. her mom has not been the model for emotional health (yells and screams and is mean to her daughter) and just getting past this to allow their child to go has been challenging but now with this strange new man in the picture i have to say that this worries me tremendously. we know nothing about him and they won't tell us how long they have known each other (my step daughter confirmed its only been one to two months) the ex is a very vindictive person and has already begun to poison her daughter's mind against us (she came home from the weekend asking why we were stopping her from going to live with mom) we asked her mom to give it 6 months to a year to see if their relationship would be stable before their daughter moved in (reasonable request i thought) but the mom said no with no chance for discussion. i think her dad should file for custody but her dad spoke with a councellor he had sent his daughter to for a while who said he should just let her go. i think this is bad advice... i think her mom is placing her in a potentially very dangerous situation. any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.
Comment