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  • consent order

    What exactly is a consent order, relative to an interim order?

    My lawyer has sent it to me for my approval. With regards to accessing my child, ex wants "reasonable access, reasonable notice" while I am at home visiting this summer... and I am totally against this. Her idea of "reasonable" will mean my NOT getting to see my son...period.

    Should I sign off on this in hope that the lawyer will be able to negotiate further? I keep hearing that these are nearly impossible to change once they are in place. I have a sick feeling in my stomach about this particular part of the consent order.

    Any suggestions or advice before i get back to him on this?

    Thanks
    GDGM

  • #2
    You may wish to have 'reasonable' defined in the exact amount of time required and how that time is proven ...

    IE - you email her, phone her or both.

    Hubby

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    • #3
      My instinct is to say get her to spell it out on paper. Don't depend on something so subjective as to what is reasonable because what is reasonable to one person may not be to another and it would be just too easy go back on what was said. I would say have her put it in the decree, if not email. At least get something in writing.

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      • #4
        GDGM, Be very careful about this order. In your situation you will want access completely set out, including pick up and drop off times. If this is an interim order, that means its temporary until your matter settles. But most often these orders become final orders. True, that these are very difficult to change down the road.

        As for consent orders, its simply means that both parties have agreed to the order.

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        • #5
          Thanks guys. I emailed my lawyer and asked him to please contact ex's lawyer to obtain a definition of "reasonable"

          I told my lawyer that I am uncomfortable with this and that I felt it was very necessary, given her obvious hostility and resistance to my time with my son, that we make this much more specific. I am a little wary that my lawyer would allow that to be put in the consent order. He is very aware that she is causing a great deal of problems with my access to my son. Perhaps I'm being cynical, but I wonder if he was prepared to do it because he knows that the legal fees would be higher for him in the long run, to fight the inevitable problem I will encounter with such a vague description of my access. I hate to think that way, but given the fact that he should know the problems this would cause, I am very surprised he would entertain this in any way at all.

          I am very curious as to what his response will be.....

          GDGM

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          • #6
            GDGM,

            This is such an important order for you, regarding custody/access to your son. Jeff, posted a while back that most interim orders become final, but I couldn't find it for you.

            I cannot stress enough to you, to make sure you are in agreement with the access, and it is clearly "spelt out" and not open to interpretation. It is an uphill, expense legal battle to get an order changed.

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            • #7
              I am a little wary of the fact that my lawyer allowed it to be put in the consent order. He is very aware that I have been having major and ongoing difficulties with ex regarding even the most basic thing such as telephone access. He sat with ex and her lawyer before they went into court and he called me afterwards and told me how difficult ex was to deal with...he even asked me if she had a history of emotional problems, because she was so strange and hostile with even her own lawyer. One would think that he, of all people, would know that to allow that to go in the consent order would mean a world of grief in the long run. I have felt very good about my lawyer up until this point...now I wonder if he is just trying to get as much money out of me as possible. As I said, he knows quite well that to allow the terms to be set in such an ambiguous way would cause a lot of difficulty in the future. I almost asked him why he would even entertain it for one second considering how much difficulty I've been having with accessing my son. I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt....but it makes no sense to me at all.

              I really hope I don't have a lawyer who isn't acting in my best interests...and is just looking for as much money as he can possibly get from me. I can now see how people who are not educated in the process, are getting a raw deal. You really do need to know as much as you can about the system and how things work. Thankfully I found this site! I would be such a babe in the woods without it!

              GDGM

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              • #8
                You really need to have confidence with you lawyer. These court orders and agreement will impact your future with your child. I must admit I've learned more about law from this site than my own lawyers. I have tried unsuccessfully over the last 6 months to hire LV

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