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  • 4-Way meeting help

    Hey All,

    After 3 months of letters between my ex and her lawyer we have now both agreed to a 4-way meeting.

    I wanted to ask if anyone can help me with a few things

    1) What is the the process
    2) Should I prepare? If so what?
    3) How long does it take

    Thanks everyone!

  • #2
    It's probably a good idea to prepare things that you are willing to settle on. Depending what are the issues this might help settle a few of the issues. We did this after our first case conference and both parties realized how expensive this process could be so I thought of a few offers to settle and so did ex and we were able to agree on a few things ( even though they just became temporary orders that were signed by the court by minutes of settlement.
    It at least allows you to get professional help from your lawyer and see what are the issues and what can be resolved out of court.
    Also, if there are questions/concerns you have, you can excuse the others to speak with your lawyer personally. This might be good if you can settle some things before or if you are ready to sign some type of agreement. It could be beneficial to both parties as you can freely talk to each other. In saying that, hopefully both are mature and can be somewhat civil otherwise not sure of the outcome.
    Depending on how much you have to cover, expect a few hours.
    Last edited by tugofwar; 04-21-2010, 09:05 PM.

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    • #3
      What are some of your issues?

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      • #4
        Here's the way my process went, I paid my lawyer over $800 for this 4 way meeting , she paid nothing to legal aid. We agreed on nothing and wasted every penny and 3 hours of my life. If your not agreeing on nothing on your own now and went 3-4 month mailing each other, then don't get your feelings hurt when you accomplish absolutely nothing. At pre-trial (what you will go to next) was painless and i received the visitation I asked for. The judge a few times made me go outside so he could "explain" to my ex how things worked. I walk back in and he asks me "Sir when do you want your kids" and I got the schedule I asked for.

        This is how women think... I offered her the car and $22000 and me keep all the credit dept etc... since it was my idea I must be ripping her off. She said no. The lawyers tallied everything, I kept the car and had to pay her $14000 AFTER the debt was paid. So don't even expect her to accept any generous offers you may have.

        You have to go in knowing what your lowest "terms" are. You want the kids 11 of 28, she may say 8 will you agree? Know your maximum spousal your willing to pay. Pretrial gave her 9k plus 14K payout was rounded up tp 30k for tax reasons. 60 months x 500. so realize every case is different, every agreement can be as complex as you make it. If spousal is involved and she previously worked try for a non occurring amount i.e. after 60 months of payout, I'm done no matter what hardship fairytale she dreams up. If you leave the door open for review down the road they will find some mental lapse to tell the judge why she still continues to need it when she is just too lazy to work. I just can't believe how many women have kids to get a paycheck, but with the Canadian system who would blame em!!

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        • #5
          Hi,
          Well we just went to court yesterday after a year of disclosers, documents exchanged and demands, bad mouthing and just a very bad few years.
          My advice to you is BE PREPARED!!! Know exactly what you want to get out of this, go over each issue and prepare notes on what you want. Keep in mind that your children are the issue, so keep your cool, and leave the anger at the door. (I got a little angry listening to the lawyers go back and forth, over $1500 for extras, forgetting that she is now getting $78 more a month in cs) but let me tell you that my interupting the conversation, made her lawyer get up and get her to agree to the $500 per year per child till age 19, not just a flat $1000 till youngest is 19.
          So again, know your bottom line, what is fair to you and your children.
          Prepare, prepare and know what you want, see it and get it.

          Comment

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