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  • now what....

    Ok so here is the story...

    split in April...i was 7.5 months pregnant
    he started paying me 2500$ a month (no child born)
    the baby was born and he continued to pay the same amount although he would mess around and make me beg for money somtimes
    he forced my hand i went to a lawyer and we sent him an offer to settle
    he was furious by my letter...I asked for 5500$ permonth which included CS,SS, and SE based on an inome of 302 000 per year
    He stopped paying support altogether
    I served him with papers on the 30th of October
    he didnt mail back the card(he lives out of province)
    he tried to negotiate = he will agree to 1920/mth
    he said he had a lawyer his lawyer accpeteed servic i filed with the courts, court date set for the 8th of dec
    i get a letter from his lawyer saying i owe him 956$ because he over paid me CS since april (the baby was not born till jjune 26th)
    i am told he will pay support on the 1st...no support
    on the 15th i recieve support $1920...below the table guideline
    go to court...his lawyer has not filed the paperwork becuase he has not gotten paid, they ask for a 14 day extension...i consent ( i hav no choice)
    The registar tells me if he does not file paperwork it will go to uncontested hearing
    Dec 17 i get an email he has finaly paid the lawyer
    dec 22 (the deadline for the 14day extension) i get an email asking for consent to another 7 day extension...i dont agree...his lawyer says i will get the paperwork in the new year

    so what now?
    will this delay the process
    will it go to uncontested hearing since he has not filed

    I feel helpless since there is nothing i cn do
    please help
    thanks
    does it

  • #2
    The over/early payment is trivial in the overall scheme of things. Don't let that become a sticking point.

    How long were you together?

    Are you married?

    Do you have a job? On mat leave?

    On what basis are you asking for SE now? The baby is an infant. Are you caring for him/her at this time?

    Is his income agreed by both of you or is it at issue?

    I looked at the table for Ontario and calculated $2,378 in CS for one child based on a $302K income. Is that what you came up with?

    Comment


    • #3
      Not a stiking point for me although he is not paying me the full $1920 as he is deducting the 956$...

      we were married 4 months together almost a year

      I do not have a job or mat leave as he told me to quit my job as h was going to take care of everything and he didnt want me working so therefore i didnt get mat leave

      I am asking for SE now aws i have to go to wor and need to pay dayccare and in september i will be heading back to school

      I have had the baby since birth he has seen him 2 times in 6 months

      I have his employmnt contract with hiss income stated

      the table amount is 2456$...he lives in a different province and CS is according to the tablle amount of the province the father lives in

      Comment


      • #4
        What kind of money were you making in your job before you quit? How long were you there? When did you quit? Did you have the option to take a mat leave before quitting?

        You are asking for $5,500/mth. Did you break down the $5,500 b/w CS, SE and SS in your offer?

        After the table amount of CS, that's $3K/mth for SE and SS. Surely you can get reasonably good full time care for your baby for say, $1,000/mth, which he will of course be paying 100% as you have no income. That leaves $2K for SS.

        Due to the extremely short duration of your union, you might be well served to offer a termination date on the SS in order to be appearing more reasonable, to both your ex and the court. A union of less than a year does not justify a lengthy period of SS, if any at all. Rather than offer a termination that coincides with when you finish your course, give a definite date, say a year or two, or even three.

        Lawyers love to encourage their clients to ask for outrageous amounts. They do that for a number of reasons, not the least of which is to piss off the other side and get them all riled up so they are more willing to lose their heads and get in the trenches of a lengthy, ugly litigation for which the lawyer gets to bill through the teeth.

        Keep that in mind when listening to your lawyer's advice, especially vis a vis the effect it's going to have on both of your emotional states of mind, and how it's going to affect your present and future relationship for parenting your child. That the father hasn't bothered to involve himself in your child's life is not a good sign, but as the child gets older that will probably change. As a minimum, your baby will eventually want to know the father. I trust you will want to be as receptive to that as possible, free from the resentment and emotional scars that a protracted litigation can and will leave behind. Trust me, I've been there. I know.

        Based on the limited facts you present here (and I read all your other posts too), $5,500/mth seems almost outrageous unless you specify a termination date on the SS. That all said, there may be factors at play that justify him paying you $66,000 a year for many many years instead of $42,000 a year once SS ends.

        Obviously, if you were still together, you would be living a very comfortable lifestyle. But $66K a year for 1-3 years and then $42K year for another 18+ years, all of it tax free, ain't so bad. And that's in addition to the money you will earn in your own career.
        Last edited by dadtotheend; 12-29-2009, 11:55 PM.

        Comment


        • #5
          Things you can most likely expect to happen.

          1. Father is not involved with child, lives in a totally different province.....you will get table amount of CS.

          2. You may or may not get retro CS to the point the child was born.

          3. The "overpayment" he gave you is likely gone, it's very unlikely he will be able to get it back.

          4. You will get special expenses, likely based on % of income, exact terms will be determined on how good the agreement/court order is done up. (Read some of the posts on here for possible pitfalls on NOT making an iron clad, clearcut Special Expenses section on your agreement)

          5. Including a fixed term for SS (based on the shortness of your union with him) makes you look reasonable. As you have been out of the workforce for less than 2 years, it should be a relatively easy transition back.

          6. His lawyer/Him WILL try to delay things for you. Depending on how badly you want the SS, the only advice I can give you is to stick to your guns. CS is pretty set in stone, keep that in mind. If he's not involved in the child's life, then status quo has been determined, and judges are loath to break status quo without a stupidly good reason.

          Comment

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