Adultery

[Randy]

Mt ex and I had an original claim for divorce which was a Joint Application and separated for one year. Although we lived at the same address for this entire time we were not living as a couple and were living separate and apart because I had committed adultery and entered into a new relationship. A clearance came through from the first set of forms but I have been having problems with the staff at the courthouse accepting the second set of forms due to the fact that we lived at the same address for this entire period althopugh we were not attempting reconciliation. I committed adultery in late November and we have decided to use this claim instead of the one year to move things along quicker. I have been told however if I do this it may actually slow things down because there are extra steps involved with claiming adultery. Is this information correct or am I better to claim the adultery instead of separation for one year due to all the issues we have been having. I have emails and other proof if they require it. Anyone able to help with this??????? A.S.A.P.

[In_This_Together]

What's the rush?

[Randy]

What kind of answer is that to my question. As if I am not having enough problems with stupid questions I get more here.

[In_This_Together]

Actually it was a legitimate question. It's difficult to provide an opinion without understanding your motives. You've put alot of effort into explaining how you can prove that you "committed adultery" but not into why it's so important to expedite the process. You weren't in any hurry to live separately but now there is a great hurry for divorce. Many people live separately, obtain separation agreements, and continue that way for sometimes a significant period of time before filing for divorce. Perhaps the purpose is to re-marry? If you're truly looking for 'answers' you may want to think twice before applying a judgement like 'stupid' to a legitimate probing question. Have a nice day.

[Randy]

Sorry but I am very tired of so many people giving me an answer to my questions with another question. These people at the courthouse are impossible to deal with and have me so stressed that I have a difficult time even thinking any more. Yes I am planning to remarry in February and these delays are uncalled for and that is why I want to get this over with as soon as possible so I do not have to deal with these people any longer. Sorry for snapping but this all has been very stressful for everyone.

[dinkyface]

Maybe planning a Feb wedding is not such a good idea - having to defer and replan that is going to cause a lot of people a lot of stress.

[In_This_Together]

I know this isn't the answer you're looking for, but you're putting the stress on yourself. You need to slow down. The process takes time and can certainly be frustrating but consider yourself lucky. It sounds like your ex is not standing in the way of your moving on. Many would. Going directly from one marriage into another so quickly is a recipe for disaster. If this new relationship is really for life, it will withstand a delay necessary for you to close off your past. Then you can move into your future calmly and with a clean slate.

[standing on the sidelines]

I know this isn't the answer you're looking for, but you're putting the stress on yourself. You need to slow down. The process takes time and can certainly be frustrating but consider yourself lucky. It sounds like your ex is not standing in the way of your moving on. Many would. Going directly from one marriage into another so quickly is a recipe for disaster. If this new relationship is really for life, it will withstand a delay necessary for you to close off your past. Then you can move into your future calmly and with a clean slate.

really good advice. It is always best to slow down and take time especially after ending a marriage.