hi,
18 months ago i finally tracked down daddy, he has a 15 year old with me and he basically made himself scarce when we split. since we were not married i didnt' have any spousal issues, he just left and i didn't know i could get child support from him at the time (1995).
18 months ago i tracked him down, asked for support, he lead me on for 4 months and then told me if i expected him to pay the guideline amount i would have to take him to court, said he wanted his day in court because the judge would grant him a decrease because he's broke (makes 100K, one other dependant, single, lives alone - but not if you count his girlfriend who has no kids .
tried to find him, finally went ahead and filed in court (but had not address to serve him), postponed for another few months until i finally found him (idiot posted stuff on myspace, what a goof!). served him and then he denied he was child's father (yet he admitted in an unrelated family court affadavit that he was her father and she was his legal dependant - again, what a goof) and he played the 'I want a dna test to prove it'.
Dna was proven a year after i first asked him, 6 months after i filed in court..... he did not show up in court twice, case held over, no case conference until 14 months late.
Case conference threw out his ignorance plea (said he didn't know it was his child until dna proved it), judge said that was the end of it when his lawyer tried to insist on again.
She said the original contact I claimed was a good starting point for child support (18 months ago, not the 13 months ago he then tried for).
I have asked for some special expenses, revealed my full financials and he is still lying on his financial statement (says he's single but he's got a live-in, says he rents yet he purchsed a condo last year, has some small businesses that he does not file tax returns for).
Now i am up to 28K in legal fees!
I am asking him for 40K in child support and expenses and we haven't gone to court yet!
the jugde allowed us a questioning so we can get to the bottom of his financials etc. He did not want to do the questioning, we want it so we are proceeding. at the last minute he decided he wanted to question me but it's too late for me to change my summer plans. now we are going to have a second questioning so they can question me even though they don't have anything to prove or find out by doing so.
basically he is wasting my money, he did not have a lawyer until 2 months ago and now he wants to settle. he made an offer, i made an offer in exchange. he has not responded to mine and will not negotiate: his idea of negotiation and settling is for me to do as he wishes and to take his offer.
i cannot afford to negotiate with myself nor can i ask for less.
the frustrating thing is that i am being financially penalized by having to chase his for support and the expenses. is there anything i can do to get him to start acting in good faith and to settle this thing?
Is is always this expensive to chase someone for child support and why won't my lawyer ask for legal fees during the negotiation since he's given me the run around and clearly lied in every single affadavit he's submitted.
stupid naive me told the truth in all of mine
a very frustrated dalia
18 months ago i finally tracked down daddy, he has a 15 year old with me and he basically made himself scarce when we split. since we were not married i didnt' have any spousal issues, he just left and i didn't know i could get child support from him at the time (1995).
18 months ago i tracked him down, asked for support, he lead me on for 4 months and then told me if i expected him to pay the guideline amount i would have to take him to court, said he wanted his day in court because the judge would grant him a decrease because he's broke (makes 100K, one other dependant, single, lives alone - but not if you count his girlfriend who has no kids .
tried to find him, finally went ahead and filed in court (but had not address to serve him), postponed for another few months until i finally found him (idiot posted stuff on myspace, what a goof!). served him and then he denied he was child's father (yet he admitted in an unrelated family court affadavit that he was her father and she was his legal dependant - again, what a goof) and he played the 'I want a dna test to prove it'.
Dna was proven a year after i first asked him, 6 months after i filed in court..... he did not show up in court twice, case held over, no case conference until 14 months late.
Case conference threw out his ignorance plea (said he didn't know it was his child until dna proved it), judge said that was the end of it when his lawyer tried to insist on again.
She said the original contact I claimed was a good starting point for child support (18 months ago, not the 13 months ago he then tried for).
I have asked for some special expenses, revealed my full financials and he is still lying on his financial statement (says he's single but he's got a live-in, says he rents yet he purchsed a condo last year, has some small businesses that he does not file tax returns for).
Now i am up to 28K in legal fees!
I am asking him for 40K in child support and expenses and we haven't gone to court yet!
the jugde allowed us a questioning so we can get to the bottom of his financials etc. He did not want to do the questioning, we want it so we are proceeding. at the last minute he decided he wanted to question me but it's too late for me to change my summer plans. now we are going to have a second questioning so they can question me even though they don't have anything to prove or find out by doing so.
basically he is wasting my money, he did not have a lawyer until 2 months ago and now he wants to settle. he made an offer, i made an offer in exchange. he has not responded to mine and will not negotiate: his idea of negotiation and settling is for me to do as he wishes and to take his offer.
i cannot afford to negotiate with myself nor can i ask for less.
the frustrating thing is that i am being financially penalized by having to chase his for support and the expenses. is there anything i can do to get him to start acting in good faith and to settle this thing?
Is is always this expensive to chase someone for child support and why won't my lawyer ask for legal fees during the negotiation since he's given me the run around and clearly lied in every single affadavit he's submitted.
stupid naive me told the truth in all of mine
a very frustrated dalia
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