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  • Property and kids

    We're marred for 10 years. We purchased house together few years ago and we still have relatively small mortgage and we have kids school age. More likely I'll have to leave the house since kids more likely will stay with mom and I don't want them to suffer. But my question what will happen with my part of the equity? My wife salary is twice less than mine and she won't be able to pay me back my portion. Not being greedy I don't want to end up to be "on the street" without any savings, paying child support and possibly spousal support. Any comments or advice?
    Thanks.

  • #2
    First, are you sure you don't want joint 50/50 custody? If you do, maybe you could flip a coin to see who leaves the house...just a thought - don't give up on raising your kids just because you have given up on your marriage.

    Anyway.

    I think that the best solution is to split every thing 50/50 (its should be just simple math) - add up the assets, add up the debts, decide who gets what, divide it equally. Then pay SS and CS accordingly. CS is table driven, SS is a challenge though - see this forum for more advice on that.

    If she can afford to stay in the house, she has to get a mortgage to buy you out, otherwise maybe you should stay if you can afford it and are going to have the kids 50% of the time. Or you could sell the house and each buy a smaller one (NEAR TO EACH OTHER), in the same school area.

    I realize that mom may have been the main caregiver, but if you want to not loose the acces to raise your kids, share them 50/50, and soon you will find, if you are commited that you can be an excellent single parent. 50/50 can work great. The marriage is over, things are changing, you don't have to loose your kids. Note that if you plan to have 50/50 custody, you MUST start with it right away to secure your access - status quo is powerful it seems.

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    • #3
      I agree with Billm. When my ex and I split the best advice I ever got was to make sure I live close to her. Read the forums... Much of the trouble seems to arise from parents living far away from each other making it very difficult to have even weekend custody.

      I bought a house near my ex and we share custody 50/50. The kids have the same friends at both of our places, when we go for a walk we go to the kids' school playground where they naturally find kids they know to play with.

      Do not give up full custody to your ex unless you want to be an every second weekend daddy. If you are able and willing to care for the kids 1/2 of the time then now is the time to set that precedent. If you move out and leave her with the kids you will have a very hard time ever getting them back.

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      • #4
        Thanks for the replies. Of course I don't mind to do 50/50 considering that I don't spend less time with kids than my wife even now.

        But if I won't be able to get part of the equity of our house than I won't be able to afford to buy anything. The question is still open.

        What happens if my wife won't be able to pay equity?

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        • #5
          You are both entitled to 50 % of the matrimonial home. If neither of you can afford to buy the other out, you may need to agree to sell the home and both find something smaller.

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