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  • Oversea Marriage

    My father who's 62, recently went to China and came back last week married to this woman he met for his second time. They met online through some dating service 2 yrs ago and have been talking over the phone ever since. I'm very happy for him, but I'm also nervous that this woman may have different motives for marrying him, as there are dangers with oversea marriages, and especially since I get the impression she is rather poor.

    He's not one to jump into things very quickly, however he feels at his age he can't afford to wait too much longer, and trips to China to meet her become very expensive. He's applying for a visa to have her come to Canada and maybe spend a few years here, before possibly moving to China once he retires.

    As I mentioned I'm worried that she's not exactly marrying him out of love, since there's other red flags, ie. as she's in her 40s (a lot younger than he is).

    I'm not at all familiar with the laws regarding divorce, however, I know they can be financially devastating, which my father cannot afford at this stage in life. Regardless, I want my father to be safe and protected in case she isn't who he thinks she is. I've read about the possibility of drafting post-nuptual agreements? Is it available in Ottawa? Perhaps there should be something else he should consider?

    Thanks,
    Jason

  • #2
    Absolutely.
    I think the biggest hurdle would be broaching the topic in a manner as to not offend him as he may be blinded by love.

    I would suggest that he indeed have a pre-nup drawn up and that there is a lawyer present for him and her, and a translator so that she knows exactly what it all means. In the event of a separation/divorce down the road, had no lawyer & translator been present to explain everything to her, then it basically wouldn't be worth the paper it was written on.
    If she is in it for love, she will not hesitate to sign it.
    If she has ulterior motives there may be turmoil both with her and her relationship with him. Given that he obviously is very drawn to her it may be difficult to get him to see your perspective on this and no one wants to damage a relationship this way, it's just not worth it.

    But yes he should indeed have a pre-nup, perhaps advising his soon to be wife that this is the norm for cross boarder weddings to ensure BOTH parties are properly taken care of should the unthinkable happen.

    Comment


    • #3
      First off, thanks for your reply FL_needs_to_change, I appreciate that there's kind enough people out there to give helpful advice.

      Hehe, I already went through the first hurdle which as you said, which wasn't easy. That is, I had a really long conversation with my father and tried to ensure that he understood where I was coming from and that I was truly looking out for his interests / safety.

      However, not sure if my post was a little misinterpreted, since the marriage has already taken place. Now I've taken the steps to discuss if he's ok with the idea, and although he was hesitant at first, he has agreed to go find a lawyer.

      My question is, in Ontario, do "post-nuptual" exist? Are they virtually the same idea as a pre-nup but that is done after the fact?

      Thanks again,
      Jason

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      • #4
        Again, yes, they are a post nuptial agreements, that again need to have legal representation so that both parties understand the content and how it relates to them.


        This would not only secure her future but his as well, and this is THE most important things they need to understand, and it's best to draw one up while they are still able to do so without arguments, it makes for an easier transition. Even a legal will that specifically states her and her entitlement would also be a good idea in addition to the agreement. That way all aspects of life's unthinkable events can be covered.

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        • #5
          Again, thanks for your advice, you've been very helpful. I'll be sure to pass on your recommendation.

          Thanks!
          -Jason

          Comment

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