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What does: "until death do us part" mean to you?

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  • What does: "until death do us part" mean to you?

    or perhaps that phrase was not part of your vows?

    I would anticipate that the majority of us voiced the traditional phrase - in sickness, health, for richer, poorer?
    Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

  • #2
    hmmm ... don't recall stating anything about "till death do us part"

    I believe "obey" was not part of our vows.

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    • #3
      We wrote our own vows, but they did have all the usual concepts covered, including that one.

      I'm sure my ex meant them at the time, but it turns out my ex's word doesn't mean much.

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      • #4
        I do remember while walking down the aisle with my father I was thinking "what the f++k am I doing?"

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        • #5
          lol. I was thinking the same think when I was watching my wife walk down the aisle.

          goes to show...trust your instincts lol

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          • #6
            So true, I read through some old journals before I was married, red flags everywhere! How stupid could I be? Of course, if someone had tried to talk some sense into me I probably wouldn't have listened anyways. You think you know everything in your 20's.

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            • #7
              What I do remember is that a few days before we got married my STBX said something that totally creeped me out. He commented that we would both have the same last name on our tombstones and be buried side by side. We were just starting our life and all he could think of was killing me off. He thought it was romantic. I found it disturbing. Turns out I was right,

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              • #8
                Originally posted by mcdreamy View Post
                or perhaps that phrase was not part of your vows?



                I would anticipate that the majority of us voiced the traditional phrase - in sickness, health, for richer, poorer?


                I don't like "til death do us part" at all. Vows should not be broken but saying I will be with you until my death is not realistic. If your spouse abuses you or cheats on you multiple times or does some other intolerable thing, the other spouse rightfully deserves an "out". My ex husband broke his vows but technically I broke them too by leaving him when I told him I'd be there until death.


                Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                • #9
                  My partner had the traditional vows minus the part about her obeying him (feminist and all). I remind him of the "in sickness and health" since she turfed him during a major illness.

                  This week my family went through a major emotional upheaval and my father tried to worm his way in and he did it disrespectfully. My one sibling tried to argue it away and I screamed "FORSAKING ALL OTHERS!!!" as he couldn't stop porking other women throughout their marriage!

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Stillbreathing View Post
                    What I do remember is that a few days before we got married my STBX said something that totally creeped me out. He commented that we would both have the same last name on our tombstones and be buried side by side. We were just starting our life and all he could think of was killing me off. He thought it was romantic. I found it disturbing. Turns out I was right,
                    That is very strange. Don't know of anyone who thinks about death at time of their marriage.

                    You dodged a bullet in that you don't have to spend your old age with him. I remind myself of this whenever I need a wee pick-me-up.

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                    • #11
                      Your so right Arabian. In fact , I used to tell my mother that I didn't want to grow old with him. It was a fate worse than death.

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                      • #12
                        Funny....I seen the humor in that comment right away. Tomestones and side by side etc.... I guess both you and Arabian are not into romantic comedies? LOL

                        Its a good thing both of you are not collecting SS from your ex(s), considering you've admitted to having second thoughts in your marriage right at the start. Otherwise it would look like you hung in there for the payout.....

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                        • #13
                          Actually Newfie 76 there really is nothing funny about it if you were to know what aweful things happened after the marriage.Ex was arrested for Hostage taking, death threats to the children, me, the neighbors. Lost his drivers license twice for serious road rage incidents. Lost his job after he was arrested at work for assaulting a co-worker. I never had charges laid against him. He was convicted of assault against others, destruction of public property, road rage, criminal harassment. His Brain injury. Not funny. At all.

                          I didn't want to grow old with this man because it was hell surviving living with him as a young woman. I couldn't imagine being able to get out of the way fast enough as an old woman to dodge flying crowbars and other inanimate objects. Let alone putting up with the temper tantrums, drinking and foul language. Getting the kids and I out alive and in one piece was hard enough.

                          When he told me he thought it was romantic to have his last name on my tombstone I should have run in the opposite direction as fast as my legs could carry me...but I was much younger then and naive.
                          Last edited by Stillbreathing; 07-29-2017, 12:35 AM.

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by Newfie76 View Post
                            Funny....I seen the humor in that comment right away. Tomestones and side by side etc.... I guess both you and Arabian are not into romantic comedies? LOL

                            Its a good thing both of you are not collecting SS from your ex(s), considering you've admitted to having second thoughts in your marriage right at the start. Otherwise it would look like you hung in there for the payout.....
                            pulease.... my ex would have to live to 100 and SS still wouldn't cover what he owes me.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Ange71727 View Post
                              My ex husband broke his vows but technically I broke them too by leaving him when I told him I'd be there until death.
                              I too had some severe cognitive dissonance about the fact that I was breaking my vows by divorcing my ex. There isn't any 'out' in the vows just because the other person breaks them first. But divorce exists, so that's an unwritten out, I guess. In legal terms, it's a contract. If the other party breaks the contract, the whole thing is null and void.

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