Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

awkward situation being together at event after separation

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • awkward situation being together at event after separation

    How do you deal with this type of situation. Newly separated have not done it yet

    Both work for different branches of a very large organization that has a yearly summer family BBQ. During work we never ever cross paths. Only some people know married to someone from same organization and of those fewer yet know separated as recent. It is one thing to go to the school concert together, it is quite another at this large work event where some people know separated, some don't. How awkward! I feel I should go but don't want to. Do we go together? Separately? One go , one doesn't, no one goes? It is bad enough dealing with this privately, but I have worked very hard to keep my work separate from my marriage. What would you do?

  • #2
    Who knows you're married? Tell them you're getting divorced! Then go and stop worrying!

    Comment


    • #3
      Whoever's scheduled to have the kids that day should be the one to bring them, and the other person could attend or not, as they wish. If it's that big a BBQ, you don't have to talk to your ex, though the kids will probably bounce between parents if they both attend.

      If it's your day with the kids, decide if you want to go or not.

      If it's your ex's day with the kids, inquire if she is taking them or not (she may or may not tell you), and then decide if you want to go or not.

      Tell your coworkers as much or as little as you would about anything else personal.

      Comment


      • #4
        I myself work for a very large organization. I have many friends at management and upper management levels and they are aware and very supportive of my position. The other parent in my case does not work for this organization and I don't think she would qualify for anything more than a custodian - not custodial - (if that) at my organization .

        Since you are both working at the same company, then you will both have friends that are supportive of your positions. I would just attend, associate with my own friends, meet people I please, and do your own thing. If either parent crosses the line at an work event that could be something that is re-portable to HR. I do the same for school events, I show up as I please. I also have many friends at the school who are aware of what is going on and who like me very much so, i.e., teachers, principals, etc. It is always good to be the one who is liked the most (Regardless of who has custody) and just do your own thing. Don't let the other parent bother you. The other parent isn't a better parent or human or person than you just because they have custody of your kids.

        No need to communicate to the other parent about the event. Just attend and enjoy the BBQ with your friends, colleagues, and hopefully your kids.

        The part with the kids can be awkward but the kids just stick with glue to the person they are most comfortable with, or with the parent who would get the kids in trouble if they associated with the other parent. Just win your kids hearts, be as sweet as you possible can be to them, and enjoy the time with them. It's the best you can do really. It will become really obvious what the other parent is doing to your relationship with the kids if (s)he acts like a goof and makes things awkward. People are smart and will figure out quickly you two are separated and your kids are there. Awkward? Yes? Should you avoid it? No. It's a "normal" part of today's society.
        Last edited by trinton; 07-05-2017, 01:47 PM.

        Comment


        • #5
          Have your sorted out who has the
          Kids On what Days?

          If so go if you have
          The
          Kids
          Or
          Go if you don't

          Just
          Make sure you look awesome!

          Comment

          Our Divorce Forums
          Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
          Working...
          X