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Ex wife refuses to bring kids on my wkd if I work

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  • Ex wife refuses to bring kids on my wkd if I work

    What grounds does my ex wife have to refuse to drop off the kids with my wife because I am working and won't be home at the scheduled drop off time?

    My wife 2 weeks ago got into a disagreement with my ex wife and called her out on a lie. Now she is being a big baby and refuses to drop the kids off with my wife and is "making sure" I am home all weekend.

    I had been on EI the last 3 months due to the oil patch and finally landed a job. I can't afford to take time off just to be here at drop off.

    Also she withheld the kids my last visit 2 weeks ago because they were "sick". Guess we're not capable to care for them. And it was their birthday weekend with us we had plans. Not a shocker.

    She text me lastnight asking if I will be home and will only drop the kids off when I am home or with their grandmother. Don't know what the difference is because my wife will just go pick them up anyways and will be with them all weekend.

    We have been married for 5 years so it's not like this is a new relationship.

    How do I respond to her? I don't want to fight but would like to reply then ignore what else she throws at me.

    Thanks!

  • #2
    I don't know the nature of the argument between ex-wife and new wife, but "calling her out" sounds like it got pretty heated. It might be a good idea for new wife and ex-wife to stay away from each other, so having grandmother present for the handover could be a way of preventing more drama. Is there another third party who could be at your house for handover in case you or grandmother can't make it?

    However, your ex can't withhold the kids because you are working that weekend. Your parenting time - your decisions. If you're away, your new wife will be able to look after them fine.

    So in short - I would try to accommodate your ex's wish that there be someone besides new wife present when she brings the kids over, because it sounds like there is history there. But I would politely tell her that your work schedule is not her business and you will make sure that the kids are well-cared-for all weekend.

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by stripes View Post
      I don't know the nature of the argument between ex-wife and new wife, but "calling her out" sounds like it got pretty heated. It might be a good idea for new wife and ex-wife to stay away from each other, so having grandmother present for the handover could be a way of preventing more drama. Is there another third party who could be at your house for handover in case you or grandmother can't make it?

      However, your ex can't withhold the kids because you are working that weekend. Your parenting time - your decisions. If you're away, your new wife will be able to look after them fine.

      So in short - I would try to accommodate your ex's wish that there be someone besides new wife present when she brings the kids over, because it sounds like there is history there. But I would politely tell her that your work schedule is not her business and you will make sure that the kids are well-cared-for all weekend.


      And that failing to deliver them is considered denial of access and subject to possible contempt actions.

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      • #4
        I'd tend to agree with Stripes points here.

        Your wife shouldn't be getting in to it with your ex whatsoever. A neutral 3rd party for the drop would be best.

        Any clauses on Right of First Refusal stuff? If so, very relevant to this thread.

        1. Document all denials of parenting time. Probably be useful in the future.
        2. I'd be asking for makeup time. Your ex is making it about her hurt feelings...has to be about the kids.
        3. Remind her that you are (and your wife) perfectly capable of looking after kids when they're sick....(2 weeks sick??....lmao).

        You say your ex offered to drop with your grandmother. Good idea. But dont let the denials of parenting time go. Not okay!

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        • #5
          Definitely your wife shouldnt be having ANY discussion with your ex-wife. That is just asking for trouble. There should be 0 contact imo.

          Tell her if she fails to drop off the child as expected you will file a contempt motion and then do so. That's all, and I guarantee she will drop them off.

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          • #6
            Yes my wife and ex wife got into it. Started off with my ex asking my wife if she could keep the kids on our weekend so she could do their birthday party even though I only have them every other weekend and the weekend she had with them was their actual birthdays.

            Anyways my wife was upset because like always she planned a birthday party and she politely told my ex she would have to speak with me about it...ex was trying to get a hold of me and I was busy working so she went through my wife. Anyways ex tried comeing up with some bogus story why the kids needed to stay and my wife called her out on it then my ex told her that "if you want to get into it it is actually me and their fathers decision". My wife tod her fine don't call me or text me anymore and then she was threatened with the kids not being able to come anymore if I have to work and won't be allowed in her care. My wife told he she can't do that and that I (me) have my rights as their father.

            my wife had to end the discussion and block her from all contact. So that's the jist of it. There is a lot more in the past. My ex is good at alienating the kids so this is another form of that.

            She just said the kids don't need to come anymore if I have to work. Well they have a sister her and grandparents cousins etc...that's not right to do to the kids. They love their family and their step mom.

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            • #7
              Does your ex work?

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              • #8
                I've never understood the concept of arguing with a parent who is keeping a kid in contravention of a separation agreement.

                I would see a lawyer immediately, and schedule a motion. It isn't an emergency, but it is important to officially signal your non-acquiescence of the changed status quo as soon as possible.

                To reiterate, don't argue with your ex. She is wrong, but you don't waste time trying to convince her or try and meet her halfway. She is wrong. If you compromise, you invite future nonsense. Threaten court and then follow through.

                As Link said, it won't even get to a judge, she will fold way before that.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by blinkandimgone View Post
                  Does your ex work?
                  No she doesn't work. She won a $2 mil medical lawsuit last year. Claims she can't work but just also adopted a baby.

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                  • #10
                    Good for her and adopting a baby. That's great and has nothing to do with what's happening.

                    Do as others have said, it's your only option.

                    For what it's worth, I talk to my husbands ex a lot and even though she makes me angry I have not once in 7 years called her out on anything. Not my position to do so and not your wife's position either.


                    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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                    • #11
                      Pretty sure my wife has every right to stand up for herself. Just because she is my ex she does not have a right to walk all over me or my wife not threaten us.

                      But my wife also was adult enough about the situation. Calling my ex out on a very obvious lie in a respectful way she did not deserve to be threatened after ward.

                      Why does he ex wife always trump everyone's feelings and actions?

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                      • #12
                        It has nothing to do with that, but she is not the parent. Decisions related to access are between you and the ex, not your new wife. Your wife should not have called her out on anything, the simple, I will talk to my husband about it, was all she had to say.

                        I am the "new" wife, and as I said, I would never get involved in something like that. I do the majority of the pick ups and drop offs because I have a flexible work schedule, but if access times are changing, that is up to my husband and his ex, not me. You have changed your post saying your wife was sticking up for herself, but your first post stated your wife called her out.

                        Seems like they were both acting inappropriately

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                        • #13
                          Sure, your new wife has a "right" to argue with your ex if she wants to, but does that make it a good idea? Anything involving your ex-wife should stay between her and you, your new wife should keep out, even if she really wants to tell your ex off, call her out, whatever. These are all just words for drama. Berner_Faith has the right idea.

                          Comment

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