Success!

[YYZDaddy]

I'm an infrequent poster, and long time reader here at the forum.
Happy to share, I've FINALLY received the final order and the court has awarded me with sole custody AND primary residence.

I'm still absorbing details, but I'm a happy camper!
My son will now get care when he needs it, regularly attend school, and the tug-of-war is officially over.

YYZDaddy

[arabian]

Congratulations!

Any words of wisdom?

[YYZDaddy]

Thank you ...

Two things I would do differently:

1) Get the process started MUCH earlier. I wait and waited in hopes that we could settle without lawyers. This backfired on me and cost 3 years of additional stress.

2) Do NOT involve police unless there is a threat to someone's safety. I called the police a couple of times when ex refused to turn over my son. I know now that that's a stupid thing to do. Even though the decision went my way, I was called out on that.

Messages I would send to parents (specifically fathers):
- You CAN win, if it's best for your kid(s)
- Keep calm, and document, document, document

It's not posted to CANLII yet, but when it is, I hope you and some of the more active members here can disseminate any relevant case law. In my mind the case is very one sided, but I may be biased. ;-)

- YYZDaddy

[arabian]

Interesting comment about police involvement. What are your views on people obtaining a "police enforcement clause" - should they or should they not? When IS it appropriate?

Do you feel that your children's school attendance was a deciding factor? I recall that your children had poor attendance when with the mother.

Do you think that the current case conference process is a waste of time or was there any value derived from this?

[YYZDaddy]

Interesting comment about police involvement. What are your views on people obtaining a "police enforcement clause" - should they or should they not? When IS it appropriate?

It's a tough call. Police are here to protect. That said, if there's a repeat offender who consistently ignores an order, something needs to be done. Right now, all we have are the police. So yes, I think it's a viable solution but should be granted in only extreme cases where the kids are clearly being negatively impacted. The trauma of a kid seeing the police arrive at mom or dad's doorstep needs to be weighed.

Do you feel that your children's school attendance was a deciding factor? I recall that your children had poor attendance when with the mother.

It was certainly a factor, but not a deciding one. She has many other "issues" that were clearly called out in the decision. To my son though, this may have the largest impact. He's a creature of routine (as most young kids are), and he doesn't do well with messed up schedules.

Do you think that the current case conference process is a waste of time or was there any value derived from this?

In my case, it was a complete waste of time and money. Both sides need to be willing to at least talk for case conferences to work. In my case, my ex refused to budge on her demands right up to the last minute before/during trial. This was also called out by the judge as an act of desperation.

[Links17]

awesome dads rule

[otttawa_dad]

Congrats YYZDad and your son


Thanks for the positive post!!!

Thank you ...

Messages I would send to parents (specifically fathers):
- You CAN win, if it's best for your kid(s)
- Keep calm, and document, document, document

[LovingFather32]

Oh hell yea!!!!!!

Amazing. Giving dad's hope.

Congrats !!!!!

[childrenand happy]

Congrats chalk up another for the dads!

[YoungDad23]

Congrats, XYZ Daddy!

Looking forward to reading your case on CanLII!

[Beachnana]

Sounds like an " old boys club". How about " hell yea. Chalk one up to good parents"

[plainNamedDad44]

Much Respect.

Congratulations to you and your son. I know how happy you must be.

Are/were you self rep ?

[plainNamedDad44]

Sounds like an " old boys club". How about " hell yea. Chalk one up to good parents"

Hi Beachnana, I know it may appear that way.

That said, please understand that many fathers (including me) have had to endure and weather stuff for years in order to hang on to our children.

Your right though, let just be done, regardless of gender of parent. It is all about the kids.

[YYZDaddy]

Congratulations to you and your son. I know how happy you must be.

Are/were you self rep ?

I do have a lawyer, but I did a lot of the leg work myself in order to help reduce costs. I don't have the time (or self discipline) to do the research some in this forum managed to do. I wish I could have.

[Beachnana]

Hi Beachnana, I know it may appear that way.

That said, please understand that many fathers (including me) have had to endure and weather stuff for years in order to hang on to our children.

Your right though, let just be done, regardless of gender of parent. It is all about the kids.

And congratulations on your success because your kids are the beneficiaries of your success.👍