YOUR opinion please

[The Iceberg]

Ex wants our kid to participate in a soccer club near her. That means I would have to drive at least 2x per week to practice during cold weather, after school, in rush hour. She wants it because he can team up with his cousin. She herself lost interest in soccer although in the past she tried to interfere with "which position the kid should play "

In return, she agrees the kid continues the same school.

[ensorcelled]

What does the child wish to do? Age? I personally like the idea of cousins doing a sport together and would do the drive if the kid was keen.

[Links17]

why doesn't cousine come to ur area.... don't agree to something you can't live with

[The Iceberg]

What does the child wish to do? Age? I personally like the idea of cousins doing a sport together and would do the drive if the kid was keen.

Problem is, my kid plays tear 1, which is very advanced while his cousin plays tear 2. I'd have to bounce my kid back to the level he already accomplished.

[standing on the sidelines]

ask your child if he wants go back to the level the cousin is at. If he does then I would do it. Its all give and take and it looks like she is willing to give you a big one (school) in return for the soccer.

[BlueDressInToronto]

Unless he really wants to play with his cousin it doesn't sound fair to make him sit in the car so long and play below his level.

[Mike62]

I think it's important for cousins to stay connected. The connection contributes to a strong family network that serves them well throughout the teenage years and beyond.

However, I obviously don't know the dynamics here, particularly the school issue.

What does your son (9 years?) want? His view should be a major factor when it comes time to decide.

I know one of my sons when that age was into competitive soccer. It was great for him.

[blinkandimgone]

IMO, keep school and soccer seperate. What happens if he decides not to play soccer anymore, she renegs on her agreement for school in your area?

Regardless of where he plays soccer, he will end up having to drive there with the other parent on their time so that's pretty much a moot point to even consider in this.

He should not be held back because his cousin plays a lower level. It's not a social activity, they can get together for social time outside of soccer.

Soccer, school etc should happen in the district where the child's listed primary address is - which needs to be declared for school zoning. Once that's done, the other items (sports etc) are also addressed.

[The Iceberg]

My son doesn't want to go back to to lower level. He has an invite to play for U-12 instead for U-10 even though he is still eligable for U-8 one more season. The thing is he takes this sport seriously and likes to practice for hours a day. The clubs here (most of them) don't have real coaches even though the price is $600 for a season (2 months). So I am his best coach but playing vs good or better kids will teach him to play harder etc...

Blink, if the child goes to my school then I have de facto full physical custody as ex wont keep him during her week, especially on weekends.

I think ex just wants him closer so next year she can use that fact that they play together and so on when she tries to change school, again.

This morning, without any witnesses and nothing legal, we signed a piece of paper that we both agree that our kid continues in the same school.

She said verbally again that she wants the kid to register in soccer in her area. I said we will see. So I will look if it is worth for the kid to travel 3-4 times a week there in winter time even though we have a soccer arena few minutes from here.

[blinkandimgone]

Kid goes to school in your area, so you have defacto physical custody if she isn't having any access the majority of the time. Which she should be even if it's inconvenient to her, but you can't make force someone to excessive their access. Have your residence declared primary residence, let the kid choose where he wants to play soccer.

[The Iceberg]

He wants to continue in his league. I invited her cousin to play here. No way. Too bad. She signed for school even though on paper w/o witnesses and the kid will play in the best club we have because he can and loves it. If he once changes his mind to play something else or something and wants to go to moms area, no problem. He said to her face, "I wanna play for ______"

In our 7 year divorce, primary residency has never been mentioned. But school, Dr, Sports...all is under my address.

[BlueDressInToronto]

That's what I thought. I wouldn't expect someone who was allowed into a higher level to go backwards on purpose, especially if they were excited about the sport.

[Links17]

Good, case closed.