How many moves is to much

[fireweb13]

Hello everyone, been a long time since I have posted here and I hope that you are all doing as well as you can be.

My situation in a nutshell.
8 Year old daughter, EOW situation with split holidays. Ex lives about 1 3/4 hours away.

Since our separation, my ex has had several boyfriends and long term spouses. We lived close to each other and were on our way to equal shared custody but then my ex moved which stopped us from being able to get equal custody. This was 3 years ago now.

Since being in school, our daughter has changed schools 4 times, the most recent being this September. She has moved 6 times in 3 years and I have just been informed that they are moving January 31st again. For a period of 2 years our daughter was in the same school and she was starting to finally catch up educationally and meet milestones, she stopped bed wetting and started having friends. With the most recent move in September she is back to bed wetting, and falling behind quickly in school. We have done tutoring, are paying for girl guides to build self esteem and doing what we can to provide a stable environment on the weekends for her. We have had the same residence for 3 years now. Its now to the point where we are even doing all dental work on the weekends we have her and doing swimming lessons and going to start tutoring again because my ex will not accept that our daughter needs help. My ex has her hands full with her 2 year old son, who according to our daughter is abusive and makes her and her mom cry a lot by hitting and throwing things. He is only 2 but is abusive to only women and girls.

Any suggestions, I know that we have to keep plotting on and I would love to have our daughter live with us but my ex would not go for it. I know that she just needs stability. I also just had another daughter who is 8 months old, and while my older daughter loves having a little sister and we take a lot of steps to make her feel important and still a very valuable part of the family its still another change for her.

Thank you

[Links17]

It probably is too much but she will just go to xourt and either say i am too poor and need to live with men to pay for me or i wont move again.... What will your answer be?

Get a psych assessment if you want a chance.

[fireweb13]

Have to agree Links,

we are working on getting her to see a behavior therapist to see if they can help her with the constant adjustment that is going on. Its just next to impossible to schedule all these things on weekends and my ex will not do it during her time, its already a stretch to get her to take her to girlguides.

[Dadx5]

Its very hard. I was in the same position my daughter was moved 6 schools in 5 years, and 11 homes. I tried to stop it at about school number 4 and move number 8 but CAS and the courts kept telling me as long as it was a safe living space and a registered school they couldn't do anything. However it was still used to go to her decision making. I was able to get an order that she couldn't move schools again, then after that when mom made bad decisions mom lost education decision making completely.

[The Iceberg]

I too moved 5-6 times in the last 3 years due to unfortunate events such as our renting basement was completely flooded or one house had black mold which is extremely dangerous for my immunocompromised child but I never changed school which is important evdn though she uses that in her affidavit too.

Fireweb I remember some of your threads from before and IMO your kid truly deserves shared custody. Talk to a lawyer and see if changing schools so much can give you shared custody with enclosement that there will be no more school changes. They take education seriously. Based on your posts, the best interest of the child has always been your priority so dontvgive up.

[fireweb13]

Thank you both,
Growing up we moved a lot and it was very hard on myself and my siblings. That is why I have tried so hard to provide stability in where I live as a adult. Sometimes a bad string of luck can happen and you have to move a bunch, but the only reason she was given the ability to move so far away is because she convinced the judge that this would be a great opportunity for stability for them. Right now my wife and I focus on making sure we provide as much stability when she is here, and are talking with extended family to see if they can play a more active roll in our daughters life so that she has more connections here with us. I wish we could get shared custody, and that was my goal until she moved away. I know that no matter how many times I follow her she will move again just out of range.
How possible would it be to change the court order to try and at least put a clause that she has to stay in the same school, and could they even enforce that kind of order? She always moves just out of range of the school, if she could just try and stay a little closer it would be so much better for our daughter. They are in a constant cycle of get a job, get a better house, lose a job have to move, and its just a bad cycle. My ex's boyfriend can't keep a job for more than 3 months, each time he gets one I hope that he can keep it so they can be at least somewhat stable. We are considering trying to get her into Play therapy while she is here on weekends but not many places provide it on weekends. There really are not many resources for kids on weekends. Its funny though, my ex wanted me to have no involvement with medical decisions and I am the one spearheading almost all of them now as well as dental appointments and school tutoring.
The hard part is that my ex and I are mostly getting along, and our daughter sees us having small chat and adjusting schedules to help us all out so I really also do not want to stir the pot that badly.