When things go to court, is it possible/are there cases that a judge decides that the amount of spousal support and/or the length it is to be paid falls outside the guidelines?
A bit of background... My stbx and I have been together since high school,14&16 yrs old, that was 20 yrs ago. We moved in together when we went to college, that was in '98, so that puts our "date of premarital cohabitation" at 2001. We got married in 2003, bought our current home at that time. Had a child in 2007. A few weeks ago she pretty much just called it quits. Nothing nasty, no ones ever cheated or anything like that, but simply put our relationship became stale many years ago and i guess she finally had enough and decided to call it, something I really should have done myself a loooong time ago but for various reasons I wouldn't/couldn't do it. Looking back I would say that would end up being the worst mistake I've ever made in my life, something I'm going to pay for dearly both financially and emotionally.
Now so far things have been very civil, we both want to avoid lawyers and we've started going through mediation. Child custody is relatively easy, we're both good parents and it's a 50/50 split. All our "stuff" is split fairly. When it came to the house, she said she couldn't maintain the property and would move out. It was agreed that me keeping the house would lessen the impact on our daughter as well. Then came the support payments. Now she makes about 38% of my gross, but a large portion of her income comes from her home business, which is off the books. Thankfully we're both taking this into account in coming up with a future budget plan. So far basically I keep the house and buy her out, she moves into new house she’s looking at which we now might have to buy together and switch the names up when our agreement is finalized. (not ideal, but due to many circumstances it may be the best way right now) I keep new vehicle we just bought and remove her name off that, she buys new vehicle ( she was going to keep our second older car, but of course last week it got hit and now it's not really road worthy) I pay her child support as per table for shared custody, plus an agreed amount of spousal.
So after all our “living” expenses (house, bills, vehicle) we end up with nearly identical “spending or take home money”, she gets a little more until my vehicle’s paid off, at that point I end up with a little more. (as I’m writing this I’m reading about Harper’s removal of the child tax benefit in 2015, which was budgeted for as income for her. This now removes ~10% of said spending money each if we offset that equally, thanks Harp!)
Now as far as spousal support the amount we agreed upon (so far) ends up being ~80% of the low end of the calculated range. Anything over this the scales start tipping in her favor and opens up a whole new can of worms. (danger zone of not being able to afford the house etc...) Yes I am grateful for this.
The one thing we didn’t touch on yet is the length of time of the spousal support payments. Honestly I’m really having a hard time digesting this one. I mean, yes I know I must dish it out, and I honestly don’t want her to fail nor have my daughter live in unfavorable conditions. But this for me is an open wound, I’d like to say I can move on one day and it’s driving me nuts thinking I have to keep paying for 6.5 to 13 years. (guideline time) Stbx is a smart, hard working 34yr old woman, not a 50yr old housewife who never had a job and getting thrust into the workforce. She should be able to get her life in order in way less time than that, and I’ll help her do it, but come on… So since we’re doing this ourselves my plan is to offer 3-5yrs, subject to review and circumstances like new live-in relationships (highly doubtful) etc… Honestly I feel anything over 5 years is milking it.
I know it’s hard to comment on other peoples lives because you never truly know all the different facets & nuances, but I’d like to know if I’m being fair. Or should I just stfu and run with it since I may “get away” with the lower payments in the first place? Would the system ever decide on a length of time shorter than the shortest guideline time?
A bit of background... My stbx and I have been together since high school,14&16 yrs old, that was 20 yrs ago. We moved in together when we went to college, that was in '98, so that puts our "date of premarital cohabitation" at 2001. We got married in 2003, bought our current home at that time. Had a child in 2007. A few weeks ago she pretty much just called it quits. Nothing nasty, no ones ever cheated or anything like that, but simply put our relationship became stale many years ago and i guess she finally had enough and decided to call it, something I really should have done myself a loooong time ago but for various reasons I wouldn't/couldn't do it. Looking back I would say that would end up being the worst mistake I've ever made in my life, something I'm going to pay for dearly both financially and emotionally.
Now so far things have been very civil, we both want to avoid lawyers and we've started going through mediation. Child custody is relatively easy, we're both good parents and it's a 50/50 split. All our "stuff" is split fairly. When it came to the house, she said she couldn't maintain the property and would move out. It was agreed that me keeping the house would lessen the impact on our daughter as well. Then came the support payments. Now she makes about 38% of my gross, but a large portion of her income comes from her home business, which is off the books. Thankfully we're both taking this into account in coming up with a future budget plan. So far basically I keep the house and buy her out, she moves into new house she’s looking at which we now might have to buy together and switch the names up when our agreement is finalized. (not ideal, but due to many circumstances it may be the best way right now) I keep new vehicle we just bought and remove her name off that, she buys new vehicle ( she was going to keep our second older car, but of course last week it got hit and now it's not really road worthy) I pay her child support as per table for shared custody, plus an agreed amount of spousal.
So after all our “living” expenses (house, bills, vehicle) we end up with nearly identical “spending or take home money”, she gets a little more until my vehicle’s paid off, at that point I end up with a little more. (as I’m writing this I’m reading about Harper’s removal of the child tax benefit in 2015, which was budgeted for as income for her. This now removes ~10% of said spending money each if we offset that equally, thanks Harp!)
Now as far as spousal support the amount we agreed upon (so far) ends up being ~80% of the low end of the calculated range. Anything over this the scales start tipping in her favor and opens up a whole new can of worms. (danger zone of not being able to afford the house etc...) Yes I am grateful for this.
The one thing we didn’t touch on yet is the length of time of the spousal support payments. Honestly I’m really having a hard time digesting this one. I mean, yes I know I must dish it out, and I honestly don’t want her to fail nor have my daughter live in unfavorable conditions. But this for me is an open wound, I’d like to say I can move on one day and it’s driving me nuts thinking I have to keep paying for 6.5 to 13 years. (guideline time) Stbx is a smart, hard working 34yr old woman, not a 50yr old housewife who never had a job and getting thrust into the workforce. She should be able to get her life in order in way less time than that, and I’ll help her do it, but come on… So since we’re doing this ourselves my plan is to offer 3-5yrs, subject to review and circumstances like new live-in relationships (highly doubtful) etc… Honestly I feel anything over 5 years is milking it.
I know it’s hard to comment on other peoples lives because you never truly know all the different facets & nuances, but I’d like to know if I’m being fair. Or should I just stfu and run with it since I may “get away” with the lower payments in the first place? Would the system ever decide on a length of time shorter than the shortest guideline time?
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