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Would this be seen as a threat?

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  • Would this be seen as a threat?

    As I have mentioned in a few previous posts I am having some issues with my child's mother following the order.

    I would love to avoid court at all costs as its been so emotionally draining and financially draining.

    Would it be inappropriate to send her a message to inform her again my concerns with what is happening. To let her know that I would be filing papers but prior to that I would like us to try and work out an agreement between us prior to filing.

    I don't want her to be claiming that I am threatening her, but my offers to try and settle these issue up to now have just received very brush off answers and her refusal to work this issues out with me.

  • #2
    It's not a threat, it's a fact.

    If she's not adhering to the court order, you have to go back to court.

    She's spent the last few years gambling that you won't stick up for yourself, and has been wrong every time. Why let her start being right?

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    • #3
      We quickly forget that family court is the rightful place to resolve matters that cannot be resolved amongst the parties. As Straittohell has said: it's not a threat, It's a fact.

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      • #4
        Of course, I say this as a person who has had the good fortune to never have to go to court. But I tell you, some days... jeez.

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        • #5
          Not following an order = contempt of court = go to court.

          Make sure you have "evidence" of her not following order.

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          • #6
            Contempt VERY hard to prove. I don't agree with the advice above.

            Family court is not a place to point blame. Its a place to find solutions. Be solution oriented and you will come out ahead. My suggestion to have the child after school through to the next morning is a great suggestion as it puts you in control of your parenting time. You don't need mom to organize your schedule around a phone call and then screw off so you can have a private and unfettered conversation with your child.

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            • #7
              Serene I agree with you my wonder is the best way to go about that?

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              • #8
                From your other post:

                "As part of our order I have telephone calls between myself and my child on "tuesdays or thursdays, to be initiated by the applicant (the other side) and that these calls shall ensure that the child is given privacy to make the calls."..."

                Sometimes orders are made that are simply unenforceable. IMO that is the case here.

                When the child is old enough you could give child a cell phone and perhaps you won't have the same problem.

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                • #9
                  Pursue a motion to change the terms of the access - to an overnight or at very least from after school to whatever time that evening.

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                  • #10
                    How old is the child? What span of days are we talking about here?

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Dadx5 View Post
                      I don't want her to be claiming that I am threatening her, but my offers to try and settle these issue up to now have just received very brush off answers and her refusal to work this issues out with me.
                      A threat is when you suggest you'll do something illegal/harmful if someone doesn't do as you wish. Or just for fun.

                      "Give me the money or I'll shoot you."
                      "Give me more access or I'll take the child away from you forever."
                      "Let me have my stuff back or I'll burn your house down."
                      "I'm going to rip your bleep off and bleep your bleep with it."

                      That sort of thing.

                      What you are proposing is just a natural, legal consequence of her actions.

                      "I'd like to work this out together, but if we can't find a solution, I'll have to ask a judge to do it instead."

                      No reasonable person would find anything threatening there.

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                      • #12
                        Beachnana- child is 10. the order I have child on week one from Friday-Monday at 7:30
                        Week 2 Friday to Saturday. So on week 2 i would not see or have contact with our child from noon on Saturday until Friday after school.

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                        • #13
                          Yeah thats a long enough period. Well as Mom is obvious not cooperating with the xommunication why dont you go for a different schedule.

                          Is it to do with school,that you only,have your child on weekends? You have currently 6/14 days so not quite 50/50. Proposing Wednesday would being you to 50/50 and would that effect CS? Would that be a factor in Moms opposition to more time with your daughter? Can you handle Thursday morning school attendance. I know lots of people need to get to work earlier than others.

                          Can you do a different parenting schedule which would avoid a 6 days period between your parenting time?

                          Mom has a nice arrangment. Weekends off!

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                          • #14
                            Getting her to school is no issue her school is a 2 minute walk from my house. 3 of my other children also go to that school. Mom actually lives in another city about 15 minutes away from the school.

                            I am willing to do any parenting schedule time (not less time though...lol) Mom has been the one blocking it and i wanted to get this settled so I agreed to the schedule we came up with.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Serene View Post
                              Contempt VERY hard to prove. I don't agree with the advice above.

                              Family court is not a place to point blame. Its a place to find solutions. Be solution oriented and you will come out ahead. My suggestion to have the child after school through to the next morning is a great suggestion as it puts you in control of your parenting time. You don't need mom to organize your schedule around a phone call and then screw off so you can have a private and unfettered conversation with your child.
                              Orders are there for a reason. Definitely not to be broken.

                              It's not about placing blame. It's about following a judges orders in the name of the law. Sure have evidence to back you up (obviously).

                              Staying out of court is of course the best route, if you and OP can come to an agreement. This is not always the case though. If a judge makes an order and OP refuses to follow it and wont negotiate or even communicate about, then something needs to be done.

                              If I don't get access on my day, with an order for it in place and OP refuses to talk about it or negotiate out or court .. you think we should just accept it? Being careful not to "lay blame" on the person refusing to follow a court order?

                              Not sure I agree with that.

                              Comment

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