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  • STBX quit her job do i have to

    STBX quit her job because she did not like the people she worked with. we have two kids together. When she was working at her job she did not opt into the pension plan, I paid the ten grand to get the match from the goverment. ( wher she worked). We own a business together 60/40 me owner, we pay in didvideneds, INC. 2 years ago she quit. In between all of this she says she wanted to go to work which she did part time a used clothing storefor 3 months where she got paid in discounts on the used clothing she bought, while the one child was in dayhome that i also paid. With our business she never did the books We had house cleaners come in once a week,.

    My question would she be awarded spousal support we have been married for 5 years, one child is grade 2?

    would a dayhome keep records of each time the child has been there? is there a rule they keep record of that. The neighbours keep telling me that the kids where always with baby sitters, actually I'm not sure what she did the last two years. And our youngest has been in dayhome for the last six months when she has been home doing nothing.

  • #2
    Hard to say, need more details.

    1. Who will have custody (this affects spousal support theoretically).

    2. What is her work history starting from before you cohabitted (you can make a timeline?

    3. What is your income and hers now.

    4. You co-own the company so you have to buy her out - how much is that going to cost?

    5. What kind of job can she get and how long would it take?

    6. Did you agree for her to stop working? Was she always looking for work?

    7. Did she stop working to care for the home or child(whether you got a cleaner or not it doesn't matter).

    Comment


    • #3
      1) I'm hopeing we go 50/50. I work away from home 2 weeks on and two off. the two weeks is 15 days. with travel.

      2) Administration her whole life, worked at sourt house for 8 years quit because she did not like the people she worked with was her reason.

      3) the company make roughly 310000 a year, my pay was 175000 a year and hers 75000 from business dividends. no other income

      4)Not sure about about how much to buy her out lawyers are doing disclourser

      5) Administration job. she was only out of the work force for two years.


      6) No I didnt ask her to stop. She was making 50000 a year at courthouse ( Mediation of course was her field )

      7) No she didnt our first child ( 8years )she worked and we put him in daycare, Our second child is 2 and up to six months ago she put her in dayhome that I did not agree to. She makes up her own mind and does as she pleases.

      Comment


      • #4
        1. I am not sure how the court will feel about 2 week separations.... you are better off trying to break your travel to every other week. In my opinion you need to take this more seriously. From a financial perspect spousal support if ANY is going to be very limited - the place where they are going to make you pay is child support (MySupportCalculator.ca). I am not saying pursue custody for financial perspectives but I am saying realize that the way the rules are written is that you will get to see the kids ever other weekend and pay her 2000$+/month in child support.

        2. Do you have any proof of that reason for quitting, she started looking again right after. On the balance of probabilities does it look like she quit for family reasons (did you just have a child or something) or for personal reasons...

        3+4) so basically she can collect the dividend if she decides to stay part owner (is the dividend in lieu of salary?) - or she is going to get a decent buyout x00k+? Consider that if she can keep the job or dividend or w/e it'll mean she has a "job"....

        5) Out of the workforce for 2 years - but did she reduce her work to part-time or anything else for any other part of the time?

        6)

        7) Ok but did she do the majority of child rearing from what you are explaining you are gone 26 weeks of the year and working normally the other 26.... when married.


        Welcome to the world of divorce where "It's cheaper to keep her"....

        Btw, I am just a troll on the internet - you are rich enough to consult a lawyer anyways... so do that.

        Comment


        • #5
          1)I worked my whole life in the oilfield to provide for my family. I can only work 2 week on 2 off schdule. What am i working for if I cant see my kids. The dividends thats how we paid ourselves the company was suppose to be our nest egg ( pay less taxes ) I worked out the calculator lots if she takes her name off the company i would end up paying over 5grand a month spousal and me paying CS it would be close to 3700 a month plus Section 7 because I cant see her getting a job that pays her more the 35000 a year.

          2)No I dont have proof. Of course she well say she quit to look after the kids.

          5) She worked through manpower odd jobs before she got this job with the goverment.

          7)Well It looks that way I worked a way 6months out of the year my whole life.


          I did so much for her got her out of debt paid her bills paid all the bills, I bet if I made no money this divorce would not go through. Its always about money. They never look at what you did for them thats the part that gets to me.


          What should I do quit my job and get a job in the city, Start a new company without her, I'm done

          Comment


          • #6
            On the one hand, it was a short-term marriage (5 years) and your ex is presumably still young); on the other hand it sounds like your work schedule was pretty brutal (out of town 50% of the time, making her effectively a single parent half the time). She may be able to argue that your economic success depended on her cutting back her own working to pick up the slack at home and look after the kids (not saying this is the truth, just that it's a plausible argument). In other words, you owe her for her "sacrifice". It might be best to think about a lump-sum payment for spousal support, enough for her to retrain and get back on her feet. Whether or not she liked the people at work and whether you liked the dayhome she picked is irrelevant.

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Links17 View Post

              Welcome to the world of divorce where "It's cheaper to keep her"....

              Btw, I am just a troll on the internet - you are rich enough to consult a lawyer anyways... so do that.

              A lawyer, or a one-way flight to Costa Rica.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by childrenand happy View Post
                1)I worked my whole life in the oilfield to provide for my family. I can only work 2 week on 2 off schdule. What am i working for if I cant see my kids.
                You work provide for them and her (that is the court perspective) - they don't care if you see your kids or not - as long as you pay and never reduce your income. You will get to see them once in a while but thats it.

                If I were you, I would start seeing what you can do to make the week on - week off happen even if it means taking pay reduction or something. If the kids were older maybe every 2 weeks would work but not at this age - I think....


                The dividends thats how we paid ourselves the company was suppose to be our nest egg ( pay less taxes ) I worked out the calculator lots if she takes her name off the company i would end up paying over 5grand a month spousal and me paying CS it would be close to 3700 a month plus Section 7 because I cant see her getting a job that pays her more the 35000 a year.
                The calculator doesn't consider "entitlement" which means it is assuming she is ALREADY going to get SS. We're discussing entitlement here.

                2)No I dont have proof. Of course she well say she quit to look after the kids.
                If you were a women favouring judge (just pretend ) what would you believe?

                5) She worked through manpower odd jobs before she got this job with the goverment.

                7)Well It looks that way I worked a way 6months out of the year my whole life.


                I did so much for her got her out of debt paid her bills paid all the bills, I bet if I made no money this divorce would not go through. Its always about money. They never look at what you did for them thats the part that gets to me.
                Actually, its the opposite the more you DO they say you created a state of dependency and so now you have to keep doing it. Just don't cohabit again unless your in Quebec, they will always get you with something.


                What should I do quit my job and get a job in the city, Start a new company without her, I'm done
                You could perhaps do that but I think you need a very good reason otherwise you will be raped in court. You are a big earner, they don't want to lose that income. You need to do research cases like yours on canlii.org

                The lump sum spousal support is a good option but its a special calculation to consider that is not tax deductible, risk free (for her), + time-money value.

                Don't lose hope, its VERY VERY tough but at the end consider yourself lucky - it was a short marriage she worked most of the time and you make excellent money. My opinion is that you focus on the custody aspect if you still want to be a father to your children but in my opinion you must fix your work schedule...

                Comment


                • #9
                  thats the problem with oil patch you give so much time they dont allow family on location, thus is why Alberta is divorce capital. If I could change my schdule I would believe me. They would let me go and just get someone else to fill my position. Thanks for everything In the end she walks away with finacial freedom55 and I still work away what a kicker.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    You might not believe it now, but all of the money you "lose" in your divorce will be the best money you've ever spent.... hey I'm only going to be out $400,000 or so in the end. But worth every penny....


                    Money does buy happiness, it pays the spousal support cheques and child support cheques to get yourself to a better place in life.

                    Focus on yourself and your kids.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by childrenand happy View Post
                      thats the problem with oil patch you give so much time they dont allow family on location, thus is why Alberta is divorce capital. If I could change my schdule I would believe me. They would let me go and just get someone else to fill my position. Thanks for everything In the end she walks away with finacial freedom55 and I still work away what a kicker.
                      Don't feel too sorry for yourself. I'm familiar with the oilpatch situation and the story usually goes like this: you can earn ridiculously huge salaries, but only because there's someone else at home who is raising the kids. If you choose to take advantage of the opportunities to make a lot of money by spending two weeks out of four in the patch, you've also chosen to depend on your spouse to handle the kids, the house, and the other aspects of life on her own. I have seen dozens of situations like yours.

                      This works fine as long as everyone's happy, but it's also a recipe for drifting apart and gradual alienation from each other. You've made choices that have put you in the top 5% of Canadian income earners. Those choices came with a price tag, and that's what you're encountering now. As they say in Alberta, it's time to "cowboy up", figure out what a reasonable settlement with your ex would be, and pay it. It won't be a huge amount, but if she's been subsidizing your time in the oilpatch while looking after the kids, she probably has something coming to her.

                      I don't know what your skill area is, but the shortage of tradespeople and people with oil-and-gas skills in Alberta is such that I can't believe it would be impossible for you to find another job that would allow you to be home more frequently to look after your kids, if your current job won't allow a schedule change. People switch jobs in the industry constantly. You may have to accept a lower income and cut back your lifestyle a bit, but it can be done. I don't think your chances at 50/50 parenting with very young children are very good if you're away for two weeks out of every four, especially if your ex has been a de facto single parent for years. I suggest you figure out how to get a more child-friendly schedule, and then with that in hand, go for 50/50.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        My question would she be awarded spousal support we have been married for 5 years, one child is grade 2?
                        Realistically, based on what you've posted here...she's probably eligible for SS.

                        But due the short duration of your marriage, you should be hard negotiating a very limited term of it.

                        I'm curious...who's idea was the divorce?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          It would be mine. I could'nt live a marriage where I did'nt get affection no love no sex, when we would have sex once every 6 or 7 months she would say do we have have too. She pushed me away for many years and I could'nt take this kind of marriage any more. When we had our Daughter who is two now, and a son 7 she said she was pregnant I responded with who's is it. I felt like my home was just a place to do laundry, a roomate that was all.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by childrenand happy View Post
                            . I felt like my home was just a place to do laundry, a roomate that was all.
                            You just lost laundry service my friend.... should have kept a 3rd home for love and affection!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              I'm a faithful person raised correctly, I just couldnt do that. Alot of people said that but nope.

                              Comment

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