My boyfriend writes:
In my case I have had child protective custody involved for over 8 months now. I thought I engaged them because I called the police on my ex because she routinely ran into my house and screamed at me in front of the kids. I gave her fir warning that she was to remain off of the property and she ignored it. As the police were talking to her she accused me of chlld abuse so CAS (child protective services in Canada) were engaged. They investigated and threw it out. In fact since taking my ex to court I have been accused of child abuse twice and other members of my family have been like wise accused as well as assault, neglect, etc.... All without reprisal.
My lawyer after seeing how distraught I was at our first meeting - I cried like hell when he said he could help me - insisted that the Ontario Childrens Lawyers (OCL) get involved. The OCL is a government run advocate for children in custody cases. Their job is to throw out the he/said she/said noise and look for signal. I was wholly surprised that my ex agreed to the OCL. The OCL took our case.
Flash forward 8 months later and we have our disclosure meeting (which was earlier this week) and the OCL, and their court appointed clinical assist, very clearly stated the following in front of me, my lawyer, my ex and her lawyer:
1. That they see serious alienation of the children against me.
2. The OCL and CAS have both stated that there is nothing I am doing wrong. Even after nearly a year of observation and investigation.
3. The children need significant therapy and from someone who has a specialty in PAS as well as someone who has experience in deprogramming. (their words almost verbatim)
4. The children are in serious distress and have stark views of me for no reason. (although they were pressed)
5. The childrens views and preferences are not independent.
6. CAS has recorded that my ex has been coaching my children and was told to stop.
7. The children came into the OCL meetings with a list of issues and complaints against me and started to discuss them well before basic questions like "How are you today" could even be asked. (which shows even more coaching and according to the timelines - AFTER CAS told her to stop)
8. That I learned of the second false allegation of child abuse in the disclosure meeting. (which was also through out).
9. CAS has investigated all allegations against me - all found to be unfounded.
10. The OCL has refused to put their assessment in writing - although my lawyer has said hell swear an affidavit to relay to the judge what was said.
Yet to my absolute dismay they did not change custody - only suggested we get more therapy to reassess. I was gobstopped. Still am to be honest.
So I have found my expert psychologist, as the OCL suggested, and they have chimed in and said the OCL was wrong in only suggesting a reassessment. The Dr says an assessment has been done and action should have been taken.
So I am wondering - given the situation, I am going to put a parenting pan together as you suggested, but I want to make sure I don't miss a note. If I am to go in and request the judge to remove custody from my ex (as I should so my kids have a fighting chance in therapy), bar all communication between my ex and my kids - while my children are in therapy and force her into therapy so she not only sees the damage she created but acknowledges it and changes her ways - what else would you suggest for me to do to be fully prepared to make the judges job clear and simple?
My children can not withstand another assessment nor can they continue to be in her custody given the evidence the OCL provided.
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In my case I have had child protective custody involved for over 8 months now. I thought I engaged them because I called the police on my ex because she routinely ran into my house and screamed at me in front of the kids. I gave her fir warning that she was to remain off of the property and she ignored it. As the police were talking to her she accused me of chlld abuse so CAS (child protective services in Canada) were engaged. They investigated and threw it out. In fact since taking my ex to court I have been accused of child abuse twice and other members of my family have been like wise accused as well as assault, neglect, etc.... All without reprisal.
My lawyer after seeing how distraught I was at our first meeting - I cried like hell when he said he could help me - insisted that the Ontario Childrens Lawyers (OCL) get involved. The OCL is a government run advocate for children in custody cases. Their job is to throw out the he/said she/said noise and look for signal. I was wholly surprised that my ex agreed to the OCL. The OCL took our case.
Flash forward 8 months later and we have our disclosure meeting (which was earlier this week) and the OCL, and their court appointed clinical assist, very clearly stated the following in front of me, my lawyer, my ex and her lawyer:
1. That they see serious alienation of the children against me.
2. The OCL and CAS have both stated that there is nothing I am doing wrong. Even after nearly a year of observation and investigation.
3. The children need significant therapy and from someone who has a specialty in PAS as well as someone who has experience in deprogramming. (their words almost verbatim)
4. The children are in serious distress and have stark views of me for no reason. (although they were pressed)
5. The childrens views and preferences are not independent.
6. CAS has recorded that my ex has been coaching my children and was told to stop.
7. The children came into the OCL meetings with a list of issues and complaints against me and started to discuss them well before basic questions like "How are you today" could even be asked. (which shows even more coaching and according to the timelines - AFTER CAS told her to stop)
8. That I learned of the second false allegation of child abuse in the disclosure meeting. (which was also through out).
9. CAS has investigated all allegations against me - all found to be unfounded.
10. The OCL has refused to put their assessment in writing - although my lawyer has said hell swear an affidavit to relay to the judge what was said.
Yet to my absolute dismay they did not change custody - only suggested we get more therapy to reassess. I was gobstopped. Still am to be honest.
So I have found my expert psychologist, as the OCL suggested, and they have chimed in and said the OCL was wrong in only suggesting a reassessment. The Dr says an assessment has been done and action should have been taken.
So I am wondering - given the situation, I am going to put a parenting pan together as you suggested, but I want to make sure I don't miss a note. If I am to go in and request the judge to remove custody from my ex (as I should so my kids have a fighting chance in therapy), bar all communication between my ex and my kids - while my children are in therapy and force her into therapy so she not only sees the damage she created but acknowledges it and changes her ways - what else would you suggest for me to do to be fully prepared to make the judges job clear and simple?
My children can not withstand another assessment nor can they continue to be in her custody given the evidence the OCL provided.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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