Restraining Orders

[Karver]

Ugh. So my ex sent his lawyer an email and cc'ed it to me stating that he wants to get a restraining order against me.
Details: our kids ski. He doesn't want me to be at the ski hill when he's there and actually put in a variation agreement that I wouldn't be allowed to stay at the hotel out at the ski hill if they were staying there. I didn't sign that.
He comes to all the kids sports here in town whether its my day or not and although I myself care not to see him, I don't make a fuss because of course he's the boys dad.
So a couple of weeks ago I went to the ski hill. In the lodge was my youngest son, friends that used to be mine in the divorse, (but in the separation the ex got them) and my ex's maid, who I do not like one bit.
I went over and said hi to everyone, completly ignored the maid and then went skiing. Came back at lunch to say hi, my ex told me to f*ck off, but I remained pleasant and just said hi to my other two boys. His friends wife, who used to be my friend too, came after me and asked how it was going. I told her ok, but I was really hurt by my ex and the maid having their relationship. He said they were in a relationship in the mediation.
Anyway, now this email today stated that 3 weeks ago I barged upto the table, pushed through all his friends to drag this guys wife out and tell her that my ex is screwing the nanny and that I was going to beat up the maid. So he wants a retaining order.
I didn't respond to the email, what do you guys think? To me, this is just a tactic to get me off the ski hill. He was also talking about getting me for slander.
He's going around saying that I don't feed the kids, my house is a pigsty and I'm on all kinds of pills (none true).
What are his chances on this? In his email to his lawyer he wrote that the mediator may have given me the impression that they were in a relationship, but he meant they were just 'dear' friends. I can't beleive my separation is going down this path, but I guess I actually can.

[Toutou]

so why exactly did you go to ski hill?

I am sorry if it sounds harsh, but you had no business being there. If you want ot see your kids ski take them on your weekend. Going to see you your kids hockey/soccer game is not the smae as going to ski hill.

So, while I think that your ex is exagarating by asking for a restraining order, what you did is made everyone unconfortable, including your kids.
But that was the point of you going to ski hill, wasn't it?

For your own good, just let go.

and btw, by completely ignoring your ex's girlfriend/nanny or being mean to her in any way only hurts your kids. They have to spend time with her anyways and you are just making them feel bad. In my opinion it is a very selfish behavior.

[standing on the sidelines]

if sounds like the father took the kids skiing on his parenting time. Organized sports like baseball, soccer leagues etc are one thing. Personal skiing on dads time is another.

If this wasn't competitive skiing and just a pleasure trip then you were out of line.

[FWB]

If this wasn't competitive skiing and just a pleasure trip then you were out of line.

Right on, and it can be considered "Stalking".

[Berner_Faith]

I agree... whether the kids have a ski membership or not, if it is not an organized sport where they are competing and such, you had no business being there. Memberships allow them to go whenever and if Dad took them on his time, you really had no business showing up.

I don't blame Dad for being upset, You were out of line and I think it would be in your and the kids best interest to send an apology email stating you agree you were out of line and it won't happen again.

If he is successful in getting a restraining order, if he shows up to soccer games, even on your parenting time, you must leave. This happened with my cousin's ex. She got an restraining order on him (and rightfully so-he was abusive during the relationship and followed her afterwards). The girls were in hockey and even if it was his parenting time and she showed up at the rink, he had to leave.

[blinkandimgone]

Or...she went there to ski? It's a public place and she has just as much right to be there as anyone else, on any given day.

It's like saying she can't go to the movie theatre whenever she wants because they may be there. Ridiculous.

[Karver]

Hi,
All 3 kids are in competitive skiing every weekend and my ex has them three weekends of the month. The kids were not uncomfortable, they love showing me how good they can ski. I did not make a scene, I only said hi in the lodge and then I ski behind the kids in their lesson and go up with them on chairlift. The friends that were there of his also have their kids in skiing. In turn, I was always involved in the skiing so I too know coaches, parents, ect. On that one weekend a month when I take them, I also talk and have lunch and go to the hotel pool with the people he was with.
When the ex takes them out on his own, I have never shown up or even called. I wish the same were true for me, he is constantly there, texting and sending me this crap while I have the kids.
I don't even look in the nanny's direction.
I also work at the kids school, which he hates, so if he manages this order that would take me out of thatt scene if they show on criminal record checks- have to do them every year at the school.

[red6419]

I read this the other way - the OP went skiing somewhere she's always gone skiing, saw the kids with their dad and others and went over to say hi.

This is a public place. If the ex doesn't want to see the OP then the ex should stop going to places the OP could be. It is not right that the ex ask the OP to change her life to accommodate the OP. OP was also skiing at the hill.

Change this to grocery store and see if you have the same reaction:
OP goes to Grocery store A - has been for years. One day she runs in to ex with the kids and says hi (as anyone would). Ex gets upset and sends letter to OP/lawyer asking for restraining order to stop OP from going to Grocery store A.

Not likely to be successful…

Also it sucks HUGE to have your ex be in a relationship with someone you once trusted to be loyal and true to you. I feel for you - for your own sanity try and keep your distance as much as possible but on your own terms.

[arabian]

Ski hills in Alberta are typically large mountain resorts. I am aware of only one resort where you can stay right at the ski resort (Sunshine Village). The rest of the places (Lake Louise, Marmott Basin - Jasper, Banff and Kananaskis) I believe you have to drive or take a bus from the ski resort to a hotel. Unless you were staying in a small community that has a small ski hill I assume you were at one of these resorts.

With that being said, your trip to the 'ski hill' would have been a planned event for you. You didn't just bump into your ex and his entourage.

I find this to be very disturbing behaviour on your part.

[Karver]

Skiing has been a big part of their young lives since each has been 3 years old. This isn't a new thing. I went to see the boys ski. I don't want to see my ex or his maid, beleive me that does nothing but hurt me. I typically stay away from all other sports when it's not my time for fear of this situation, but like I said, skiing is a big sport for them. There is another resort within driving distance that has a hotel.

[FWB]

Or...she went there to ski?

She might have if that was the only Ski hill/slope in town???

It's like saying she can't go to the movie theatre whenever she wants because they may be there.

Errrrm...That will be one hell of a coincidence, providing it was not the only Cinema in town, different movie times, and the chances that they turned up to see the same movies

[blinkandimgone]

Or it's the closest one to their respective residences.

And the OP has clarified to say that it is competitive skiing for the kids, which she has every right to be at, regardless of where it takes place.

[DowntroddenDad]

I read this the other way - the OP went skiing somewhere she's always gone skiing, saw the kids with their dad and others and went over to say hi.

This is a public place. If the ex doesn't want to see the OP then the ex should stop going to places the OP could be. It is not right that the ex ask the OP to change her life to accommodate the OP. OP was also skiing at the hill.

Change this to grocery store and see if you have the same reaction:
OP goes to Grocery store A - has been for years. One day she runs in to ex with the kids and says hi (as anyone would). Ex gets upset and sends letter to OP/lawyer asking for restraining order to stop OP from going to Grocery store A.

Not likely to be successful…

Also it sucks HUGE to have your ex be in a relationship with someone you once trusted to be loyal and true to you. I feel for you - for your own sanity try and keep your distance as much as possible but on your own terms.

I'm not seeing it the same way. Unless they both have memberships at the same private club, it may be a public place, but the OP should avoid interrupting the kids time with their father. Find another place to ski.

As for the ex's new relationship, in the end it is none of her business.

[standing on the sidelines]

I read this the other way - the OP went skiing somewhere she's always gone skiing, saw the kids with their dad and others and went over to say hi.

This is a public place. If the ex doesn't want to see the OP then the ex should stop going to places the OP could be. It is not right that the ex ask the OP to change her life to accommodate the OP. OP was also skiing at the hill.

Change this to grocery store and see if you have the same reaction:
OP goes to Grocery store A - has been for years. One day she runs in to ex with the kids and says hi (as anyone would). Ex gets upset and sends letter to OP/lawyer asking for restraining order to stop OP from going to Grocery store A.

Not likely to be successful…

Also it sucks HUGE to have your ex be in a relationship with someone you once trusted to be loyal and true to you. I feel for you - for your own sanity try and keep your distance as much as possible but on your own terms.

bumping into someone accidently is one thing. Making plans to do it on purpose is another. In another thread the poster said something about she fights in court to be a pain in the ass. Is this another way to be a pain in the ass?
Ottawa Divorce .com Forums - View Single Post - How to let the kids go
Like I said if it was dads time and a personal trip then she was out of line. If she didn't know he was going to be there then that's different. If it was an organized sporting thing then that's different.

Its telling when she says that he got the friends in the divorce. She had no reason to walk up and interfere. If she wanted to say hi to the kids then wait till the kids came over to her.

[Toutou]

The way I read it is that father took kids on a ski trip as she mentioned that they are staying in the same hotel. They didn't just go to a local hill for a day. Teh fact that kids had a lesson doesn't make it ok to follow your ex and kids on vacation, stay in te same hotel, and basically staying in their face all the time (chatting with friends with whom her ex came on vacation). in mu book, this is creepy.

I think that OP should do herself a favor and move on with her life. Pulling stunts like this does not help her get over divorce at all.