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  • ex keeping son from school

    My ex and I enjoy 50/50 parenting with our kids. Our Final Order regarding custody states that we are to inform each other within 2 hours when a child is sick and kept home from school.

    Last year at about this time I discovered that one of my sons was only going to school about 60% of the time when he is with the ex (and 100% of the time when with me).

    After court action last February the judge (who was SHOCKED) ordered that that when the child is kept home by his mother she is to get a doctors note.

    I just got the children's attendance record from school and, sure enough, there are occurrences wherein she did not notify me and out of six such absences there are no doctors notes.

    My question is what can be done. Clearly she is not about to obey court orders. A contempt motion? What would the achieve?

    Any ideas would be gratefully appreciated.

  • #2
    How old are the kids?

    Why was the kid home for six days? Did he have appointments? Was he sick? Was he being difficult and refusing to go?

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    • #3
      The kids are all three under 16.

      Of this 6 absences I have notices for 3 of them, all stating that he's not feeling well. In other words, there should be at least 3 instances of doctor's notes being produced.

      As the judge awarded me medical care of the children I can definitively say that there were no doctors appointments.

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      • #4
        I had similar issue with ex not bringing D8 (then D7) to school. You can speak with the classroom teacher (if elementary) or the principal's office (if high school) and ask if they can send ex a letter from the school board expressing concern over absenteeism and quoting the part of the provincial education act which state that parents have a legal responsibility to ensure their kids attend school. If ex is not bringing kids to school, it's a school-board issue, not just your issue any more.

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        • #5
          If I recall correctly, education law states that a doctors note is required for any absence that exceeds 3 consecutive days.

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          • #6
            @stripes: thanks! Involving the school board is in fact an option but when I had uncovered missing 40% of school while in her care last year, and notified the board, they simply sent her and I a copy of the act and took absolutely no action. I may try again now that there are orders in place, though.

            @smileandwalkaway: we have two orders in place. The first requires us to notify each other in case a child is sick and the second requires her to get a doctor's note for each occurance (i.e., not just after 3 consecutive days). Neither order seems to be effective.

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            • #7
              Hmm... I hear ya. Orders seem to be totally discretionary it seems. Totally boggles my mind why we invest so much time, energy, emotion and money to draw these things up when there is no recourse when one party totally disregards them.

              I am still having so much difficulty accepting this.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by selfrepguy View Post
                My ex and I enjoy 50/50 parenting with our kids. Our Final Order regarding custody states that we are to inform each other within 2 hours when a child is sick and kept home from school.

                Last year at about this time I discovered that one of my sons was only going to school about 60% of the time when he is with the ex (and 100% of the time when with me).

                After court action last February the judge (who was SHOCKED) ordered that that when the child is kept home by his mother she is to get a doctors note.

                I just got the children's attendance record from school and, sure enough, there are occurrences wherein she did not notify me and out of six such absences there are no doctors notes.

                My question is what can be done. Clearly she is not about to obey court orders. A contempt motion? What would the achieve?

                Any ideas would be gratefully appreciated.
                Six absences equals 60% of the time in absence while under her care?

                I can tell you from personally witnessing it happen within my extended family that the school will take steps should absenteeism become a real problem.

                I have witnessed Children's Aid become involved over just such issues, and indeed CAS take court action as a result.

                The Mother in question had her two kids (12 and 13) taken and placed with the Dad as a result.

                It sounds to me a if you are perhaps a little more perturbed than the situation currently merits.

                Should it become a real problem - the school will inform CAS or whoever is appropriate.

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                • #9
                  So out of every 3 days of school your ex sends your kids to school only 2 of those days? I can't believe the judge would let her keep custody with tat track record unless there were extenuating circumstances

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                  • #10
                    I would think the best way would be to talk to the mother and reason with her, that what she is doing is going to affect the kids in the future. Commitment, discipline, learning process etc. I say talk to the mom because I dont think taking her to court will get you anywhere. If you do go to court, all she has to do is the day the kids dont go to schiool, she goes to a walk in,, tell the doc, the kid is not feeling well and get a note. Once she starts producing the dr. notes, the courts hands are bound.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by wretchedotis View Post
                      Six absences equals 60% of the time in absence while under her care?
                      .
                      It was 40% absenteeism for the previous year, meaning they attended 60% of the time. This year it has improved to only 6 instances, three of which require a dr.'s note for.

                      While she has improved, I would go back to the school board and see if they can put another letter out with the legislation. Hopefully, with some continued pressure, she will continue to improve. Also, speak to the kids and let them know that you expect that they attend school. And that while you understand they may not be feeling well, that unless they are really under the weather, you expect them to go.

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