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  • XtraOrdinary

    I've seen a few threads on this topic, but I have a different spin.

    We have joint custody with 50/50 access. My income is $50k and my ex has $0 income. I currently pay cs and ss totalling $1400/month, and I'm responsible for 85% of s.7 expenses.

    1. s.7 "extra-ordinary" expenses are supposed to be based on what the spouse can reasonably afford. If her income is "0", does that mean every little thing (swimming, school trips/fees, pizza lunch, etc) becomes extra-ordinary and not covered by cs?

    2. Ex wants to enroll the kids in daycare during her weeks so she can attend school. I am always at home and available to watch the kids 100% of the time. Can she put them in daycare and expect me to pay 85% of it when I'm available for free? She is worried the extra time with me will go against her in court, and daycare is something the kids have never done before.

  • #2
    Your ex cannot have zero income. You are forced by law to work to support your child, she is under the same obligation. If you went back to school, trust me, your CS obligations would not suddenly disappear.

    In terms of babysitting, she is quite correct, if her time drops below 40%, not only will her CS cash cow go away, but she'll actually have to pay you! Working is not something that the support-receiving-unemployed enjoy, expect resistance. Technically judges count overnights, but if you are way beyond the 60% you might be able to pull this off.

    In the meantime, until she gets an income imputed, you have to pay the massive CS, and you are on the hook for pretty much all S7 nonsense. Remember that you have to consent to S7 if she wants you to pay, so don't consent to anything until she is actually earning money like a proper non-parasitical parent.

    Comment


    • #3
      I was counting on the "not allowed zero income". Both sc and motion judges said that she should have an income imputed, but said they would let the trial judge decide the amount. Until then, she has been marked as zero income and I pay full table amounts.

      We are 50/50, week each. Caring for the kids a couple hours x5 days on her week, will not put her anywhere near 40%. Plus it's nights that counted. I can understand her concern, but when money is a huge issue for us, it would seem that avoiding daycare costs would be best for everyone. Plus a parent would have to be in the kids best interest over a daycare.

      Does the $1400/month support count as enough income to support the basic costs, or should I just expect to pay my 85% s.7 for every little thing.

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      • #4
        Originally posted by HappyDays View Post
        Does the $1400/month support count as enough income to support the basic costs, or should I just expect to pay my 85% s.7 for every little thing.
        s.7 is very vague. At $1400/month, I would very roughly say that anything under $100 is definitely covered by CS. That would cover most of the things you just said. Frankly, I would go as high as under $300, but $100 is a low number that should get your ex paying for some things, which is a good start.

        I can understand her concern, but when money is a huge issue for us, it would seem that avoiding daycare costs would be best for everyone. Plus a parent would have to be in the kids best interest over a daycare.
        Her financial livelihood depends on having your children at least 40% of the time, probably closer to 50% just to stay safe. Her full-time job is getting CS at the moment. She would be crazy to risk it just to allow the kid to spend some time with you.

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        • #5
          Thanks! Very sad/scary, but bluntly true.<O</O

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          • #6
            Originally posted by HappyDays View Post
            2. Ex wants to enroll the kids in daycare during her weeks so she can attend school. I am always at home and available to watch the kids 100% of the time. Can she put them in daycare and expect me to pay 85% of it when I'm available for free? She is worried the extra time with me will go against her in court, and daycare is something the kids have never done before.
            Good luck proving there is better daycare than the other parent. Well, let me rephrase that, it should not be possible in most cases unless there is abuse of some kind, or possibly allegations just as well, but in the meantime why don't you look into taking a few courses on the side involving parenting, just to build your case stronger? I believe it's been done before....

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            • #7
              no allegations or abuse... ex simply says she's scared that the judge might view it as the kids are with me more, giving me custody. I've explained the overnights rule and offered a letter acknonwledging that this "extra couple hours" would not be used against her... but as Janus put it, she's just interested in maintaining her cs job over the kids' best interest.
              I've read about a right of refusal oder, but they seem to usually be about only if kids attend daycare longer than x hours. Maybe I can ask for this and keep it as other parent should be asked before Any daycare/babysitter is hired.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by HappyDays View Post
                no allegations or abuse... ex simply says she's scared that the judge might view it as the kids are with me more, giving me custody. I've explained the overnights rule and offered a letter acknonwledging that this "extra couple hours" would not be used against her... but as Janus put it, she's just interested in maintaining her cs job over the kids' best interest.
                I've read about a right of refusal oder, but they seem to usually be about only if kids attend daycare longer than x hours. Maybe I can ask for this and keep it as other parent should be asked before Any daycare/babysitter is hired.
                Do you have that in writing - her refusing to let you take care of kids to protect her CS rather than the best interest of the children? If so that is good.

                But no, I would be very clear in documenting that you are ready willing and able to take care of the kids and then not pay daycare. Also, if you have joint by court order, I'm not sure but when she drops off kids at daycare, you can legally go get them perhaps.

                I would not pay for day care. She is not being reasonable.

                It's too bad the judge let her get away with 0 income. Unfortunately I think it was a gender based decision (ie if the tables were turned you would have been imputed income) - but hopefully that will get cleared up at trial or settlement.

                Also, her CS/SS income does count toward section 7 affordability as evidenced by you having to pay not 100%, but 85%. Also, if it is section 7, it is 'extraordinary' so you can refuse to pay anyway. Not all extracurricular are section 7, even in her low income - you have to look at the combined income of the parents, not just her's.

                Way to go on the 50/50 thing. Now you just have to get her to work. Good that she is going to school.

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                • #9
                  If you are available to watch your children, vs paying hundreds of dollars to put them in an un-needed daycare, then you should be able to watch your children, and I would stick to your guns on this.

                  Those hundreds of dollars could be used instead, towards extra curicular activities, savings towards the kids' future education, etc.

                  My ex pulled this when my D4 was very young, but I didn't have to pay, on her insistence to use a "babysitter" of her choice, even though I was available to take care of my D4, because ex would not provide any receipts, or distinguish the babysitting time between when she used to barely work, or when she was using the babysitter for personal time.

                  Her reasons were the same "I don't want you having "D4" too much, because it will reduce the support you owe me!" Clearly nothing to do with the child's best interests.

                  Stick to your guns. And work on getting an income of some kind imputed to her.

                  "Why" are you available to watch your kids, during the day/week? Is she taking an evening course(s)? Do you work from home? It might be good to have "backup" or some kind of explanation, so that the ex can't say "well, he's working during the day...how can he be taking care of kids during that time?". You know it will come up. Good to have valid explanations, and a good plan.

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                  • #10
                    Judge told my ex it was ridiculous for her to enroll the kids in before/after school daycare when I was available. This was wasted money that could be well spent elsewhere.

                    Ex said that she couldn't risk it affecting custody/support. Judge said that she would put it in the endorsement that it was without prejudice and would not affect anything. Ex said again she couldn't risk it.

                    Judge then ordered that I pay nothing towards daycare.

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                    • #11
                      An extra couple hours a month would hardly affect custody or support in any way, especially when it's at 50% now and nowhere near the 60-40 shared split.

                      I offered my ex a letter to confirm it would not affect anything, and the judge also wrote it in her endorsement that it is without prejudice and would not affect it.

                      By my ex still "not willing to risk it", surely shows that she is looking after her own interest as opposed to the children's best interest. That is why the judge ordered no daycare fees. If she wants to waste money and not "risk it", then she should pay for it.

                      Comment

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