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  • I'm through....

    After 18 months I finally have my decree. Now I thought I went through a lot of grief, but after seeing some of the other cases here, maybe I had it easy. It took almost a year to get a separation agreement, I conceded much to get peace and move on, but probably less than it would have cost in court. My ex and I have nothing to fight about at the moment. My kids are coming around. I moved into a new place to have a spare bedroom. It is all coming together.

    I won't be throwing a party though. I did have a quiet drink last night, may have another with a friend.

  • #2
    congratulations! I hope you can move on now and enjoy life. When reflecting on the past try to think of the good times and let go of the bad times.

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    • #3
      'grats.

      enjoy the peace while you can. i find it never lasts long - but 'if i were you, you'd be me, and i would use your body to climb to the top of the mountain'
      so hopefully your experience differs

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      • #4
        Congrats! I hope you are as excited as I am about finally moving forward.

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        • #5
          Knowing you sing, keep that up...it's good for the soul. Congratulations! I hope to get free before the year is up! ;/

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          • #6
            Thanks for the kind words.

            Yes I am still keeping up a busy schedule with singing. This summer my choir will be one of the featured performers at a choral festival in Newfoundland, excited about that since its the only province I've never been to.

            I actually exchanged emails with a recently ex GF to tell her the news(we are still on good terms) and she did take pains to remind me that the marriage produced three wonderful kids, and for that I am truly truly grateful.

            As for peace I will enjoy it while I can. At the moment my relationship with my ex wife and ex GF are very peaceful. I am looking forward to happier times.

            Thanks for the support

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            • #7
              Congratulations! Time to change your handle perhaps?

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              • #8
                I agree ....

                Originally posted by wretchedotis View Post
                'grats.

                enjoy the peace while you can. i find it never lasts long - but 'if i were you, you'd be me, and i would use your body to climb to the top of the mountain'
                so hopefully your experience differs

                Just when I think everything is going well, either my ex or my boyfriends ex stirs up shit with the kids ..... Why are they so self centred and selfish that they can't see what they are doing with the kids?????

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                • #9
                  i m hoping my time will come too....one day.

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                  • #10
                    Congratulations! Even if it doesn't feel euphoric and celebration-worthy, it's a milestone.

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                    • #11
                      Congratulations DD. Its awesome when you can just put it behind you and move on with life.

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                      • #12
                        Thanks,

                        The original post was in January 2013, so a bit of a zombie.

                        But I do have another milestone to celebrate. My ex got married so my SS has ended. She informed FRO, so we don't even have to do a motion to change on consent to stop paying. I still have considerable CS to pay, but having SS off is good. My ex, who claimed she couldn't work due to health issues, went to school full time on a government retraining program, and got a full time job.

                        I'm pretty content, things aren't perfect, but are pretty good considering.

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                        • #13
                          That's what I am hoping to hear! People move on and things get better for both parties!

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                          • #14
                            Yes, but are you willing to hear about all of the compromises and sacrifices that people had to make to get to this point?

                            You seem to be fishing for more validation and reassurance from ancient member threads in the hope of seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, without stopping for a moment to consider what needs to happen in the present.

                            Your ex isn't just going to give up and magically go away if you wait long enough, and play the victim card in perpetuity.

                            You're picking one old post from DowntroddenDad and cheerily congratulating him on moving on, as if all he had to do was just give everything time. Read back on all of his previous threads and see the immense hassles that he had to put up with in terms of his ex and organizations like FRO.

                            You have carpet-bombed over a dozen threads, and started your own, with the hopes of someone coming over to you, patting you on the head, and telling you that everything is going to be okay if you just give everything time, and wait for your big bad ex to calm himself down, and just give you what you want.

                            Try to have a little respect for the history and challenges that a lot of the members in this forum had to go through in order to get to this point. You are at the start of this journey, and need to spend more time reading up on threads that are closer to your situation, instead of tossing out comments that offer little substance to ancient threads.

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                            • #15
                              ^^^ A bit harsh. Yes, divorced mama has been indulging in carpet-bombing and necroposting, but that could just be part of the learning curve on how forums work. I started way more threads than I really needed to when I first joined the forum (which Tayken remarked on, which set me straight).

                              As for the approval-seeking - in the first stages of divorce, your head is really not on straight and you may be desperate for some sign that things will work out well, to the point where you're looking for these signs in the wrong places. Eventually, most people realize it's going to be a whole lot of work to get to that desired goal of being over and done with the marriage.

                              Looking for validation from anonymous monkeys on the internet may not be the best way to deal with that desperation, but it's not a major crime either (unlike, say, soliciting forum members for sex offline or producing racist diatribes - both of which have gotten people in trouble).

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