Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

child custody change

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • child custody change

    Hi everyone

    I'm in need of some advice or guidance on a very sensitive matter. I'm seeking to obtain sole custody of my 6-year-old son. Three years ago, my ex-husband and I separated, and we made an agreement over shared custody of our child. Our child now spends 4 days with each of us, respectively, on rotation. My ex and I communicate mainly by way of e-mail. Although I cannot complain about his parenting skills, I firmly believe that I should have full custody.Over time I came to the conclusion that my son is living in poverty. I mean sure, my ex lives with his family, but he has never maintained a job in his whole life, because of some psychological problems which he's had for some 15 years now. Meanwhile, I work myself to exhaustion in a very physically demanding job. Recently, I asked him to draw an agreement of custody change to avoid legal battles but he "politely" refused and sought help in social assistance. Now, he is on WELFARE. IMHO he made a bad move. Shortly after, the welfare program contacted me and urged me to pay child support! Yes, even retroactive. If that's not enough, he is actually eligible for legal aid. My reasons for filing a motion to change:1) He has never worked (poor example for the child)2. He suffers from depression or something of the sort (if he cant work, he cant parent, period)3) He is on welfare now; he could be chasing some disability program (he may never work, what a role model for the child)Taking into account all of this, how certain should I be that I can obtain full custody of my child when we settle this issue in court?
    Thank You

  • #2
    Originally posted by MM36 View Post
    Hi everyone

    I'm in need of some advice or guidance on a very sensitive matter. I'm seeking to obtain sole custody of my 6-year-old son. Three years ago, my ex-husband and I separated, and we made an agreement over shared custody of our child. Our child now spends 4 days with each of us, respectively, on rotation. My ex and I communicate mainly by way of e-mail. Although I cannot complain about his parenting skills, I firmly believe that I should have full custody.Over time I came to the conclusion that my son is living in poverty. I mean sure, my ex lives with his family, but he has never maintained a job in his whole life, because of some psychological problems which he's had for some 15 years now. Meanwhile, I work myself to exhaustion in a very physically demanding job. Recently, I asked him to draw an agreement of custody change to avoid legal battles but he "politely" refused and sought help in social assistance. Now, he is on WELFARE. IMHO he made a bad move. Shortly after, the welfare program contacted me and urged me to pay child support! Yes, even retroactive. If that's not enough, he is actually eligible for legal aid. My reasons for filing a motion to change:1) He has never worked (poor example for the child)2. He suffers from depression or something of the sort (if he cant work, he cant parent, period)3) He is on welfare now; he could be chasing some disability program (he may never work, what a role model for the child)Taking into account all of this, how certain should I be that I can obtain full custody of my child when we settle this issue in court?
    Thank You
    in all honesty, a snowflakes chance in hell.

    Comment


    • #3
      Why aren't you paying him child support?? You should be.
      Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

      Comment


      • #4
        Sounds like your reasons for change in custody are based far more on money than on the father-son relationship. I know many people who cannot work who are good parents, capable of making decisions about the child's school, health care, religion, etc. That is what custody means. Now do you want to change custody or access? They are different.

        Comment


        • #5
          If he accesses the legal aid he is entitled to, you are going to get destroyed in court. A complete bloodbath. Your only hope is to negotiate outside of court before he talks to a lawyer and recognizes the level of damage he can inflict on you.

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by Janus View Post
            If he accesses the legal aid he is entitled to, you are going to get destroyed in court. A complete bloodbath. Your only hope is to negotiate outside of court before he talks to a lawyer and recognizes the level of damage he can inflict on you.
            Why Janus? What has his "legal aid" status got to do with the court process?

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by SadAndTired View Post
              Why Janus? What has his "legal aid" status got to do with the court process?
              Nothing. It is just that the OP's legal position is so weak that her only hope is that her ex does not talk to a lawyer. Since her ex can access a lawyer for free, it isn't looking good for her.

              Comment


              • #8
                the OP is so worried about role models but here she is discriminating against someone she says has a diagnosed medical condition. Hmm what kind of a role model is she then??

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Janus View Post
                  If he accesses the legal aid he is entitled to, you are going to get destroyed in court. A complete bloodbath. Your only hope is to negotiate outside of court before he talks to a lawyer and recognizes the level of damage he can inflict on you.
                  As a Legal Aid client he will have the means to keep you in court forever.Get paying child support so your kid will be taken care of properly at his place.If you are smart you will negotiate straight away and keep the lawyers out of it.On a secondary note..what kind of parent would let their children live in poverty but only complain when its gonna cost them?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I will play devils advocate for mm36. There are different degrees or mental illness. Is this person a danger to himself or those around him?

                    I know highly functioning people get a bipolar diagnosis after a bout with depression turn into non-functioning pot heads who couldn't even pull themselves out of bed to feed their children. Where others who were previously poorly-functioning prior to diagnosis take their meds and work at controlling the disorder and start thriving.

                    Honestly, I think these concerns would have been best addressed at time of initial separation. Other than him being a poor influence on your child (by not working), what other concerns do you have? Is the child clean when with your ex? Is he fed? Does the depression negatively affect your child's time with him?

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by MM36 View Post
                      Hi everyone

                      Although I cannot complain about his parenting skills, I firmly believe that I should have full custody.
                      think that explains it all. He is a good parent so just because he doesnt have money, he should be denied joint custody?? Its not like he is living in the streets, he has a support system. If that was the case then all people living on welfare should have their kids yanked from them because according to the OP they are not fit to be parents.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        What I don't understand... why are you not paying CS? If you have shared access you should be paying his CS and should have been all along... welfare is well within their rights to force him to come after you for CS... why should the tax payers have to support your children because you don't feel you should have to pay his CS?

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                          think that explains it all. He is a good parent so just because he doesnt have money, he should be denied joint custody?? Its not like he is living in the streets, he has a support system. If that was the case then all people living on welfare should have their kids yanked from them because according to the OP they are not fit to be parents.
                          I read that as well but was giving the poster the benefit of the doubt there is more going on than just the money issues.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Originally posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
                            in all honesty, a snowflakes chance in hell.
                            And how do you support your argument, mister?

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Janus View Post
                              Nothing. It is just that the OP's legal position is so weak that her only hope is that her ex does not talk to a lawyer. Since her ex can access a lawyer for free, it isn't looking good for her.
                              Really? I can afford a lawyer, in fact I can spend 10 times more on my lawyer than his Legal Aid would pay for him

                              Comment

                              Our Divorce Forums
                              Forums dedicated to helping people all across Canada get through the separation and divorce process, with discussions about legal issues, parenting issues, financial issues and more.
                              Working...
                              X