So I am asking for my sister.
She has had an on again off again relationship with her off again ex.
They have a 3 and a half year old daughter.
They have a court order giving him one night a week and on night on the weekends. He has never, EVER, taken his daughter overnight.
What he does want to do is, drive over, every single night, to my sisters and bath and put their daughter to bed and then he goes home.
Now, the child does not like her dad bathing her, she is extremely attached to her mother. So my sister has to participate with him, while he is in her home. While he is there he "puts" down my sister in front of the child, calling her names, telling her she will never further advance in her life, etc. This doesn't happen every time, but enough.
She would like it so that he takes his daughter on his scheduled timings, not that she wants her daughter to go there, but understands he is legally entitled.
She does this because she knows she has to put her daughters needs first, but she isn't comfortable with it.
Odds are nothing bad will happen to her daughter while in the father's care, BUT, he does try to force feed the child, make her do things she doesn't want to do, ie, if he wants to read her a book, he will force her (even if she is crying, freaking out) to listen to him. At least when she lets him over at her house she can intervene. But this is a bit much to have him over every single night, walking around her house. She isn't in a relationship, but what happens if she wants to date, a bit awkward?
Also, he does not have a bed for the child, when does it become unacceptable for the child to not sleep in the same bed as parents? With the understanding the child has never slept over with dad, but if she did it would be at most two nights a week. Also, is the mother expected to provide the car seat for him, or is that something he has to buy?
Another thing is, he has to work very early, earlier than when the daycare opens, so he thinks he should be able to drop his daughter off the one weekday morning he has her. This means the child would have to get up at 5:00 am to accommodate his schedule. The child usually does not have to get up until 7am. Their agreement states he has to take her to the daycare.
The father has issues with drinking as well, he has a pending dui charge and just recently admitted to drinking and driving to the mother. Drinking while caring for the child when they were together was an issue, and if he ever does take his child during his access time, this is a concern, but is there anything that can be done?
I hope I am passing on the information correctly, if not just ask and I will get the answers.
I guess my question is, what should she do, what is the right thing to do?
Thank you for any help on this issue.
She has had an on again off again relationship with her off again ex.
They have a 3 and a half year old daughter.
They have a court order giving him one night a week and on night on the weekends. He has never, EVER, taken his daughter overnight.
What he does want to do is, drive over, every single night, to my sisters and bath and put their daughter to bed and then he goes home.
Now, the child does not like her dad bathing her, she is extremely attached to her mother. So my sister has to participate with him, while he is in her home. While he is there he "puts" down my sister in front of the child, calling her names, telling her she will never further advance in her life, etc. This doesn't happen every time, but enough.
She would like it so that he takes his daughter on his scheduled timings, not that she wants her daughter to go there, but understands he is legally entitled.
She does this because she knows she has to put her daughters needs first, but she isn't comfortable with it.
Odds are nothing bad will happen to her daughter while in the father's care, BUT, he does try to force feed the child, make her do things she doesn't want to do, ie, if he wants to read her a book, he will force her (even if she is crying, freaking out) to listen to him. At least when she lets him over at her house she can intervene. But this is a bit much to have him over every single night, walking around her house. She isn't in a relationship, but what happens if she wants to date, a bit awkward?
Also, he does not have a bed for the child, when does it become unacceptable for the child to not sleep in the same bed as parents? With the understanding the child has never slept over with dad, but if she did it would be at most two nights a week. Also, is the mother expected to provide the car seat for him, or is that something he has to buy?
Another thing is, he has to work very early, earlier than when the daycare opens, so he thinks he should be able to drop his daughter off the one weekday morning he has her. This means the child would have to get up at 5:00 am to accommodate his schedule. The child usually does not have to get up until 7am. Their agreement states he has to take her to the daycare.
The father has issues with drinking as well, he has a pending dui charge and just recently admitted to drinking and driving to the mother. Drinking while caring for the child when they were together was an issue, and if he ever does take his child during his access time, this is a concern, but is there anything that can be done?
I hope I am passing on the information correctly, if not just ask and I will get the answers.
I guess my question is, what should she do, what is the right thing to do?
Thank you for any help on this issue.
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