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What Should I Expect from my Lawyer?

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  • What Should I Expect from my Lawyer?

    I'm trying to get through my separation and I've found it very difficult to deal with my lawyer. I've been paying him for a year and I have no idea what to expect in the way of a settlement or judgement. I was common-law, so it's not cut and dried, but he won't or can't give me ANY idea as to what is fair. He also has demonstrated that he has no strategy in mind at all for my case and just goes through whatever motions are required at that time.

    I guess I don't know if this is the norm when dealing with lawyers, or if he's as poor at dealing with clients as I think he is. Am I expecting too much when I want to know if I have any hope with Constructive Trust with respect to the money she stashed away (we had 11.5 years of only joint banking), RRSPs or her pension, where I can live wrt our current residence or my daughter's school, and SS amounts?

    I'd love to hear your thoughts and experiences with lawyers and I'd also appreciate it if you wanted to PM me any recommendations for lawyers in the Kitchener-Waterloo area.

  • #2
    Communicating expectations is key. Set out what you would like from your lawyer in a single, well thought out email. Ask if what you want is reasonable. When asking for results, you can ask "if this went to trial, what would be reasonable for me to expect? What would be reasonable for my ex to expect?".

    Articulate to him that you do not know your legal rights and therefore are uncomfortable negotiating without his input. Ask him to give you reasonable starting points for negotiation and, combined with what he says is the likely range of results a trial could produce, you should be on much better footing.

    Every communication costs you, but if you aren't able to use your lawyer effectively then hiring him was a mistake.

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    • #3
      Thanks for the suggestions. I've asked him several times what range of results a trial would produce, but he just evades and says that he's "won more losers and lost more winners" than he'd care to remember. I've asked him for a range of results, or to give me some idea of the probability of results, but he won't give me an answer. I've told him that I understand that he can't predict results, but that I can't make informed decisions without some sort of idea of what to expect.

      He's also told me that he can't advise me what to accept in the way of a settlement offer. Frankly, one of the things I expect from a lawyer is to be told that I'd be nuts to take an offer or nuts to turn down an offer. Is that too much to ask?

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      • #4
        One way to cut through the crap is to request a monthly or bi-weekly bill from him.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by slughead10 View Post
          expect a HUGH bill.......
          I guess you're trying to be funny, but I don't see the humour. I'm going through a divorce, dealing with a bitter and spiteful ex, worrying about my daughter, and having trouble getting what I think should be reasonable help from my lawyer.

          I know how much my lawyer costs per hour and I know how hard it is to come up with the money to pay him. If I can find a lawyer that will get this done, I'll happily pay to make sure I get 50% custody and time with my daughter, and whatever portion of the assets that we accrued over the time we were together. I'm looking for help to determine if my expectations are out of line, or if my lawyer is, essentially, useless to me because he's not meeting my expectations.

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          • #6
            ONdad - I see you have been on the forum since 2010.

            How can someone be on the forum for that length and not know what to expect from one's lawyer? Even if you logged in once a week I'm sure you should have been able to glean some information by this time.

            Please explain what your problem is.

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            • #7
              Slughead, Thanks for that response, it's much appreciated. I have a much better idea of what I want in a lawyer now and I hope to find someone that fits the bill. I'm just not sure if I'm asking too much, though I don't think so.

              arabian, wow. I'm not sure if you're insinuating that I'm stupid, ignorant or lazy, but you sure don't pull any punches. Yes, I created the account in 2010. No, I haven't visited the site anywhere near once a week since I joined; likely only a couple of times a year. If you had done one right-click and one left click, you could have seen that the last post I had was from September 2010, if that matters.

              I had a lawyer and was trying to work with him and trusted (hoped) that he was doing what needed to be done. I've had issues with him and tried to get him to give me what I want in terms of service, but it's obvious to me now that he can't or won't do what I need him to do. I'm simply asking if I'm expecting too much. That's the 'problem' I have that I'm seeking help for in this post. I seems that I don't meet your checklist for forum activity, so you aren't going to help me. That's fine by me; I'm just not sure why you'd leave a snarky post. Perhaps you can tell me what your problem is.

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              • #8
                I do not believe it was Arabians intention to be snarky but Im curious too....Where are you at, so far?What have you achieved ?What is your custody arrangements so far?You joined 2010-why so little progress?What has your lawyer done for you??What orders are in place?But most of all...what do you want?What would you like to get out of your separation?How do you want things to go from here?Make up a wish list, and than people here can give you an assessment of the likelihood of it happening, or what you could do to help it happen.Have you put it to your lawyer what you want exactly, and what you could compromise on?

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                • #9
                  I am direct and I make no apologies for it. I'm just trying to figure you out is all. What advice are you really seeking? How to pick a lawyer? How to fill out forms? What is your main issue? What to expect in a lawyer? How the hell would we know what your expectations are? What do you hope to accomplish?

                  You say you thought your lawyer was going to give you what you wanted in terms of service. What does that mean? Returning phone calls.... filing motions.... arranging meetings?

                  Maybe the best way to approach it is to make yourself a list:

                  1. File for divorce/separation
                  2. Custody of children
                  3. Visitation/scheduling

                  Hand it to your lawyer and TELL him you want to file by "____" date. You will meet with opposing party (1) to discuss settlement. Failing that you expect a trial date to be scheduled by January 1 (or whatever date is suitable for you). You expect monthly bills and bi-weekly phone calls or emails to you informing you of progress. You wish to view any and all correspondence leaving his office prior to it being mailed out. ETC.

                  Obviously the above is a generalization of a legal process. My point is that you should be directing your lawyer. He is there to give you legal advice period. He cannot tell you what to decide to do.

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