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  • Hockey Expenses & Cost Award

    I am here on behalf of my fiancé. My fiancé has 2 ex’s and it just seems the nightmare is never going to end, and I’m really hoping I can get some advice. The ex’s and kids all live in Ontario and we now live in BC, so it makes matters more difficult to try and get anything done because we aren’t there to just take them back to court, and he can’t afford a lawyer anymore.


    Ex # 1 – He has 4 children with this person and they split in 2000. He had a court order for visitation but her husband (the neighbour she was cheating on my fiancé with) became violent every time he would go to pick up the kids and became harassing, my fiancés mother ended up with a concussion from the ex (still have all harassing letters and doctors reports). My fiancé went back to court to request police assistance when picking up the kids, they did this twice and said “nothing is happening so this is a waste of our time” and stopped helping, well of course nothing is happening with police there! The next time he went to get the kids there was violence again and my fiancé stopped going to get the kids because they were all so young and he didn’t want them to see what was going on. So 10 years went by and he wasn’t able to see his kids because of the husband. During those years they enrolled each kid in hockey and my fiancé was not able to go to games or have any involvement, but silly him, he didn’t take it back to court, he gave up because he felt the court was not on his side. In the time I have been with him, I have personally witnessed his ex allowing him to see the kids, to try and re-establish a relationship, which was all hidden from her husband, and all three times this attempt at a relationship ended because of her and her crap. Now it’s at the point that all the kids have blocked him from Facebook and want nothing to do with him and I can see how much it hurts him.



    So we have recently found out (and have a bit of proof to) that 2 of the 4 kids are not living at home and haven’t been for over 2 years but she is still collecting support for them. One is 20 and the other is 17, we were under the impression that the 20 year old was in college, and I even asked the ex a few weeks ago how he is doing in school and she said “he’s doing good”, then we found out he dropped out last year and has been hiding it from us. The last order in court said she would meet half way for access (when we still lived in Ontario) and access would be as frequent as possible, well it never happened once. Then we also found out her house was foreclosed on and she has moved, we have no idea where the other 2 kids are even living. So now we are going to put the paperwork in to the ISO unit to have the 2 kids taken off the support chain and state that 2 years has been an over payment, but my biggest concern is she will go after him for hockey costs because the 2 kids are still in hockey. He has never been told by court to pay for hockey, I am not sure if she has ever tried to get hockey costs from him (I'm waiting for the orders and endorsements from Ontario), but he has never been able to be apart of the kids lives because of her, he has never been able to be a part of their games or any decisions, which I have her admitting to this in an MSN message so what would her chances be of getting awarded hockey costs at this point? She will try I’m sure, because she will be losing money for the 2 older boys.


    Ex # 2 – One child and they split over 3 years ago. We are said and done with this, it has gone through trial, the only question I have were this is concerned is she has a cost award against her for 3500.00 and the judge stated in his decision that this is to be allocated towards any arrears and any difference is to be issued as a judgement. Well my fiancé doesn’t have any arrears and we don’t know what to do with this judgement now. FRO has a copy of the award and his file is in the process of being transferred to the Vancouver ISO Unit, but what does he do with this award letter to enforce a judgement? We have no idea how to go about this.



    Thanks and sorry for the long winded message.

  • #2
    So 10 years went by and he wasn’t able to see his kids because of the husband. During those years they enrolled each kid in hockey and my fiancé was not able to go to games or have any involvement, but silly him, he didn’t take it back to court, he gave up because he felt the court was not on his side.
    The court isn't supposed to be on his side...its supposed to be on the children's side.

    As a mother, there is no person...certainly not any new partner of my ex... that could/would keep me away from my children.

    Does he see the child he has with the other ex?

    Sorry, I know your questions were all about money...which I guess I shouldn't be surprised at.

    Comment


    • #3
      I didn't mean that as a matter of being on his side, I worded that wrong, yes I know it's about the children but the court did nothing when my fiance was going through nothing but crap with his ex's new husband and my fiance didn't want the children to see that. The husband attacked my fiance with a fire extinguisher and his ex attacked his mother all right in front of the children. when all the children were young, was it fair to them that they had to see nothing but violence? My fiance was young at the time and maybe didn't make the best decision but I have watched him make attempt after attempt to be a part of the kids lives and each time this attempt was shattered by his ex because of the crap she would pull.

      And yes, he does see the other child! He spent a lot of money on a lawyer and going through trial to ensure he is able to see him. A trial against a mother that all she cares about is money!

      I don't appreciate your comment about "not surprised that it's all about money", is it my fiance's responsibility to continue to pay for 2 children that are over the age of adult, that are both working full time, that are not in school and haven't been living with her for over 2 years? is it not her obligation to advise of this change instead of going out of her way to hide it so she can continue to collect money she isn't entitled to?

      Comment


      • #4
        Two words for your fiance - restraining order.

        When the new husband became aggressive and threatening, he should have taken his evidence to the police and/or the courts and obtained a restraining order. If/when the police refused to accompany him during his exchanges, he should have asked to speak to a supervising officer and ask why they are not following the judges orders.

        But that is past and as bad as your hubby screwed the pooch and made the worst decision ever, that is the past.

        Using whatever proof he may have, he can ask to withdrawl those children from FRO (assuming he is paying through FRO). Otherwise he has to file a motion requesting disclosure of the childs residence and proof enrolment in school. He cannot arbitrarily stop paying. With the evidence from his ex, he can ask a judge to stop CS for those kids.

        But yeah, he screwed up bad when he decided it was easier to walk away from his kids vs holding the people (polce etc) to the coals and make them do their job. All it would've taken was a voice recorder or a person videoing from the car to show the new husbands aggression and the new hubby would be a spectator from a distance from that point forward.

        Comment


        • #5
          WOW.. Okay - and it's amazing how judgmental you are about his "greedy ex" - her house foreclosed, apparently she didn't make out so well. Costs award? (Re: Ex #2) - good luck. Doubtful you and fiance will see that. Finally, for God's sake - don't have any children together as you will likely be EX #3- then you might really get the full picture.

          Your post is primarily about money. Wild horses couldn't stop a truly interested parent in seeing their child(ren). I'm simply amazed by several aspects of your post.

          Comment


          • #6
            You are making a big mistake by getting involved in your fiance's problems with his two ex wives. You are naive and believe everything he tells you. Do you really think that he is blameless in everything???? I get the impression that you love the drama. Your fiance doesn't have a very good track record. Recognize it for what it is. He fathered many children and he should pay for them. If I believe your post in it's entirety (which is difficult) your fiance's ex's have suffered financially.

            Wake up and smell the coffee. He has responsibilities and he should pay. You probably only know 1/8th of the story and it's really not your concern. If your fiance has a legitimate concern then he can hire a lawyer and deal with it. If he can afford 3 wives then I am sure a few lawyers bills won't hurt him.

            Family violence is serious business. If your story is 1/2 true then I'd keep my distance from these dysfunctional people and deal with them through the courts.

            Do you really want a life where you are dealing with 2 ex wives?????? Yuck!

            Comment


            • #7
              By the way - I take huge offence at your post name - Tired of Greedy Ex's. Your post in it's entirety is about money and you obviously resent your finance facing his financial responsibilities because it will take money out of your household.

              Comment


              • #8
                According to my EX and his insanely gullible (read: stupid) wife - I am the greedy ex. He has told her ALL lies, which she blindly believes. The sad part is: even when the truth surfaced at trial, dispelling many of his far-fetched stories, she still stands by her "man." Pity the foolish woman, she is going to eventually learn a very expensive life lesson. Funny, and I'm known as "the greedy one." Interesting: she does not know me, knows nothing about me except the bullshit she has been told by her darrrling hubby.

                Comment


                • #9
                  i certainly do not resent him paying for his responsibilities, he has always paid his support and if he didn't i would lose respect. you don't know what this ex of his has put me through and i'm not naive, i am only going on what i have seen first hand, i am not going on anything he has said only what i have witnessed. this women has lived off the system when she is more than capable of getting a job, she gets a job and quits, i've had to listen to her and her husband say "someone's got to pay for my mortgage so let it be her" as in me, i've had them slander me all over the internet when i have wanted no part in it. i'm "eating their childrens child support because i wont buck up and pay support out of my pocket". is this something i'm supposed to agree to? i would lose respect for my fiance if he didn't pay his support, i expect that he would and he certainly does, but we are back to the question of is he supposed to continue to pay for 2 children that are both adults and working full time taht haven't lived with her for over 2 years? is it right that she has gone out of her way to hide that from him?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by hadenough View Post
                    According to my EX and his insanely gullible (read: stupid) wife - I am the greedy ex. He has told her ALL lies, which she blindly believes. The sad part is: even when the truth surfaced at trial, dispelling many of his far-fetched stories, she still stands by her "man." Pity the foolish woman, she is going to eventually learn a very expensive life lesson. Funny, and I'm known as "the greedy one." Interesting: she does not know me, knows nothing about me except the bullshit she has been told by her darrrling hubby.
                    well well, "hadenough" this posting isn't even about you "ex # 2", seeing as you said trial, you are the only one he went to trial with. he has never spoken of you, i see things for myself, especially a 10" thick stack of evidence that proves you do nothing but lie to people. re-read the postings, this has nothing to do with you. glad to see you consider me stupid, seems to me you are the one that lost trial not him! you are the one that ended up with a cost order against you, not him, you are the one that has been threatened with jail by a judge, not him. keep dreaming.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Tiredofgreedyexs View Post
                      well well, "hadenough" this posting isn't even about you "ex # 2", seeing as you said trial, you are the only one he went to trial with. he has never spoken of you, i see things for myself, especially a 10" thick stack of evidence that proves you do nothing but lie to people. re-read the postings, this has nothing to do with you. glad to see you consider me stupid, seems to me you are the one that lost trial not him! you are the one that ended up with a cost order against you, not him, you are the one that has been threatened with jail by a judge, not him. keep dreaming.
                      uh huh. Well. here's a little bit of a reality check... 5 kids on the ground according to what you have posted. Every one of them deserves CS, secondary education, college, university. Those can not be argued, BEFORE you have any kids with this father, or make retirement plans. And not one court in the country will see it differently.

                      eta: out of site, out of mind, isn't really a valid argument.
                      Last edited by mcdreamy; 06-22-2012, 08:50 PM.
                      Start a discussion, not a fire. Post with kindness.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        ^ note; OP sent me a PM as she was unable to edit/erase her post in which she thought I was one of the person's in her situation. To clarify, I am not - and OP has msged me, stating her error. (Thanks, b/c it would have been pretty confusing, if you hadn't)

                        No problem, and good to know that you would not condone a parther's non-payment of support obligations.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          I think you have lost your mind. Hadenough is a decent person who has suffered because of a loser ex who went bankrupt, left her raising a young son with the company debts. I am no different except that my son is a grown man now.

                          You are sick, paranoid and obviously deluded. Whacko or what????? Perfect example of the "new girlfriend" falsely attacking the ex/mother of the child. She jumped to the wrong conclusion and let-er-loose. Crazy or what?????? Sicko sicko sicko. Pity the children.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Proves this "finance" is a manipulative, conniving, bitch who obviously loves to provoke the ex.

                            Don't put in writing what you don't want the whole world to read. disgusting to say the least.

                            Advice to you: Tubal ligation then anger management 3 x week. After that volunteer to help people who can't help themselves. Refocus your anger and GET A LIFE and leave the ex's alone. If you can build a relationship that doesn't involve discussing the exs's within a 3 month period then you might have a chance. You are seriously ill. Get help.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              you don't know me or the situation! i made a mistake towards "hadenough" and i apologized. actually you are the one that sounds crazy by way of your responses. i am no deluded or any of the other things you have said about me, you don't know me at all or what this ex has put my fiance through. sure there are many deadbeat dads out there and it sounds like you and hadenough have gone through that, but just the same there are deadbeat mothers as well and that's what my fiance is dealing with. don't be so quick to judge when you don't know a shred of the situation. and by the sound of your response, maybe you should take your own advice on anger management

                              Comment

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