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  • Tomorrow at 4

    I am sinking quickly... 1st Christmas without my boys and I don't get them until tmrw at 4.
    Melting point has been reached...

  • #2
    Hang in there, you can do it.

    Also my first year without my boys, it has not been easy! I however made sure in my SA that when we exchange kids on Christmas day it's at noon, so my wait time is less!

    Are you and your X communicating well, would the X be willing to let you have the kids a bit earlier given the fact that it Christmas?

    Stay strong,
    Angie

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    • #3
      It's not that bad. Next year will be with you, right?
      Start looking at it from kids' point of view.. from now on will only ever be with 1 parent at a time. Thats the sad result. Not how lonely/sad/whatever you may feel on any given day.

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      • #4
        Given the day would it be ok if you called them earlier like at 9 or ten to share what morning excitement they had and are still having?? like maybe @ 10:00?

        Agree though 4 is tough - mid afternoon even - lunch at one, supper at the other? Then it really assumes xmas is the day in your family. I know all these years ex's family is european/xmas eve is supper and then presents after. My side has been the opposite. So I think back for the fist 6 years while we still lived near her mom it was always two days straight of party and presents and food and exhaustion by the end !! Always a good exhaustion that I would never trade in for anything - for now I keep my memories of those years for as long as I can hold onto them.

        I you wish - (Ha! I forgot!! - If you wish we can always chat a bit tommorow to help the time pass!!)

        I made the mistake of having a real hard time with this weeks round of needles and then to realize by 6 tonight there is absolutely nothing in this house!! Everthing is closed down. Asked my son a few hours ago and "oh they are heading over to ex's parents around 10:00 (remember mine are now all young adults now that the youngest has made it past her 18th). Nice to let Dad know again? Would have been nice I guess - I could have figured out something if I was a little more on the ball....But I didn't even get myself a treat to enjoy and binge on in what will be my own silence of the day go a little bit easier myself!!!........

        So think of good things in the morning and really make the late switch over really count for the boys - so they get that early morning excitement all over again except this time with dad!!!!
        Last edited by ddol1; 12-25-2011, 03:35 AM.

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        • #5
          It must be tough. Hang in there. As long as you get to spend the time with them.

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          • #6
            Originally posted by AngieJ View Post
            ...Also my first year without my boys, it has not been easy! I however made sure in my SA that when we exchange kids on Christmas day it's at noon, so my wait time is less!

            Are you and your X communicating well, would the X be willing to let you have the kids a bit earlier given the fact that it Christmas?
            Thanks Angie...I didn't expect it to be this hard. I actually offered in good faith to let my ex keep the boys until 4:00 so he could celebrate with his parents for a 'proper' lunch as we always did...I think it's important that our boys keep this tradition with his parents on Christmas Day. The bugger of it is that he actually had our 13yo ask me if they could not be dropped off until 9pm (after I offered him 4 instead of noon)...That was an absolute no.

            Originally posted by wretchedotis View Post
            It's not that bad. Next year will be with you, right?
            Start looking at it from kids' point of view.. from now on will only ever be with 1 parent at a time. Thats the sad result. Not how lonely/sad/whatever you may feel on any given day.
            Wretched...Yes they will be with me next year. I had no idea it would be this bad for me. I was the one that offered to their dad to let him have them for Christmas first this year so there would be no fighting. I wanted to make it as easy as possible on the boys. I will do Christmas with them when I get them (in 20 minutes)...I wasn't too worried about when to celebrate. I was overwhelmed with how much I missed them and didn't expect it since I've been OK with the schedule up until yesterday.
            AND...
            PursuingHappiness would be happy about this. I even took the boys out to buy a present for their dad (they got him a movie) to try to make everything as amicable as possible and show the boys that some things do not change (I always took them out to buy their dad something...)

            Originally posted by ddol1 View Post
            Given the day would it be ok if you called them earlier like at 9 or ten to share what morning excitement they had and are still having?? like maybe @ 10:00?
            ...
            (remember mine are now all young adults now that the youngest has made it past her 18th
            ddol-Thanks again ! Yes I did talk to them at 8am and it made my day. I hope you get through today quickly and can get in some reading and quiet time without your ex being in the house. I'm not sure if it gets easier as our children age...or harder with the communication issues...You are very kind...thank you

            Originally posted by Access Dad View Post
            It must be tough. Hang in there. As long as you get to spend the time with them.
            AccessDad-Cheers...Thanks ! I've made it through successfully and now down to the minutes and I cannot wait ! Thank you

            To all of you...Thank you and my thoughts are with all of us this year. The struggles every day are overwhelming at times...and over the holidays it's even harder ! I wish there was snow so I could have a good old fashioned snowball fight to burn off some stress...ha

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            • #7
              Glad you made it

              I'm happy to hear you made it through!

              I made it through as well, I spoke to the kids this morning and my X told me I could come whenever I wanted to get them as there was a storm here and I had an hour and a half drive to get to my parents place after I picked up the kids.

              I got there at about 10:30, and the X was just putting on breakfast, so we all had breakfast together, and the kids could not talk fast enough to tell me all about all the gifts they got, and fire the nerf gun darts across the house. My X and I shared some laughs with the kids and I realized, the kids were ok!

              Sure it was hard on me, but they were fine, and that is all that matters, and I get them next year for Christmas Eve!

              We have snow here in Ottawa, so anytime you wanna bring the boys we can all go for a snowball fight together!

              Merry Christmas
              Angie

              Comment

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