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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Political Issues

Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 06-10-2011, 10:04 AM
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Mess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the roughMess is a jewel in the rough
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canadamama View Post
mummer1962 there is no POINT to this. The lunatics have taken over the asylum and this place is LOST.

This is a forum where is is PERFECTLY acceptable to piss and moan about how women have the upper hand in court, but the first person to say anything about their MALE ex mistreating them gets jumped on and told to quit whining.

To say it AGAIN: my first post to this forum was to explain that I had found CHILD PORN on my ex's computer and to ask for support as I tried to figure out how to manage my daughters' relationship with their father and still make sure they were safe. The first reply I got to it was from Mess who, after a nod to the inappropriateness of kiddy porn (well thanks for that), said that I had no business 'demonizing' him (his word), and that there was no difference between a grown daughter visiting a father who looks at regular porn and a child visiting a father who looks at child porn.

Check it out: http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...d-v-long-8540/

Seriously - save your breath. It's a shame, because I think that a lot of people are turned off of this forum by this gaggle of folks who openly state they don't give a rat's ass about anyone's feelings, but it is what it is, and the fact is that they DON'T. There are much worthier causes in this world than trying to save this forum from itself.
Fuck you too. Apparently it wasn't serious enough to have him criminally charged. So what you were doing was looking for "support"? What you were actually doing was going on the internet to rage and get fuel for your fire. If your child is at risk and you took no action, you are as bad as anyone.

I made a valid comparison to show that not everyone who looks a nude picture is going to go out and rape someone or molest a child. You haven't shown that your child is at risk, and if you seriously believed your child might be at risk you should be consulting the authorities, not a bunch of divorcees on a message board. You are full of shit and haven't contributed anything posititive to anyone since you've been here.
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 06-10-2011, 10:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
Fuck you too. Apparently it wasn't serious enough to have him criminally charged. So what you were doing was looking for "support"? What you were actually doing was going on the internet to rage and get fuel for your fire. If your child is at risk and you took no action, you are as bad as anyone.
I never said Fuck You, Mess - that's your approach. I have read those words from you and your cronies here more times than I can count. You can misrepresent all you like but my post and your response are both right there for anyone to read.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 06-10-2011, 10:18 AM
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Originally Posted by canadamama View Post
I never said Fuck You, Mess - that's your approach. I have read those words from you and your cronies here more times than I can count. You can misrepresent all you like but my post and your response are both right there for anyone to read.
And your post is right there for all to read. Your ex husband has no history of sexual assault, is by your account a kind and loving father and he had a record of visiting one website when he depressed. So yes, you were ready to block him out of your children's lives not because of any actions he's taken against another human being but because of a picture he looked at once. My words were to try to encourage to you step back and look at the entire person, not just at one thing he may have done in moment of despair.

And you are welcome to disagree with my assessment, but for what I wrote you now single me out and regard me as "anti-woman"? I am not anti-woman, I am anti-you, I think you are a self-absorbed, self-righteous, self-agrandizing jackass.
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 06-10-2011, 10:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mess View Post
And your post is right there for all to read. Your ex husband has no history of sexual assault, is by your account a kind and loving father and he had a record of visiting one website when he depressed. So yes, you were ready to block him out of your children's lives not because of any actions he's taken against another human being but because of a picture he looked at once. My words were to try to encourage to you step back and look at the entire person, not just at one thing he may have done in moment of despair.

And you are welcome to disagree with my assessment, but for what I wrote you now single me out and regard me as "anti-woman"? I am not anti-woman, I am anti-you, I think you are a self-absorbed, self-righteous, self-agrandizing jackass.
Actually it was an entire collection of videos, Mess, not just a single picture. 13-year-old girls being raped - extremely graphic and disturbing stuff.

Funny. I have never said "Fuck you" to you, and I never said you were anti-woman. I posted your response to my introduction as an example of the knee-jerk reactions that make this forum so unhealthy. I didn't actually demonize my ex, either - in fact I asked you in that thread (very politely, I might add) to please quote where I suggested "keeping the children away from the father completely." Of course there was no response from you, because I hadn't done that - in fact I have never on this forum EVER suggested that parents be kept from their kids.

What I did say was this:

"I understand that our daughters have a right to have a relationship with their father, and I WANT them to have that. They do love him, and his absence from their lives would be a source of grief and loss, not relief. He has been a capable and loving father, and I want him to come here so that they can hug their dad and see him in person, and reconnect with the bond they share with him. He is an important part of their lives; they love him very much, and that is as it should be.

BUT... I am extremely uncomfortable with him taking them out overnight, or for a week or longer. I am afraid for them. I want our kids to have time with their dad - they need it - but I NEED to know they are safe. I really feel like just ignoring the fact that I now know my ex was consuming child porn is extremely irresponsible. "

Not exactly the words of a "self-absorbed, self-righteous, self-agrandizing [sic] jackass" who is trying to "block him out of [our] children's lives".
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 06-10-2011, 12:32 PM
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For the benefit of all, I would like to point out a few things about the internet:

1) People have lots of opinions, and they will usually be different than yours.
2) People like to complain on the internet. Some people care about your problems. Most do not.
3) People are rude on the internet. Not always, but it should in no way be shocking when it occurs.
4) People take things personally when #1-3 come into play in an online discussion. You shouldn't care enough about their opinions for it to bother you. They don't care about yours.
5) People are not required to be nice to you, or to agree with you, or to be sympathetic to your plight. Some are, and good on them, but the rest of us have our own problems, thankyouverymuch.
6) Moderators are not your white knight. Moderators are not your referee. Moderators are not public servants. Moderators delete spam accounts, porn images and old threads. Be thankful that anything beyond this gets done and deal with your own problems.
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 06-10-2011, 03:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by canadamama View Post
Actually it was an entire collection of videos, Mess, not just a single picture. 13-year-old girls being raped - extremely graphic and disturbing stuff.
Well, here is my 5 cents. I did not read that original thread, but from what I read here I would say:

1. How do you know that it "13-year-old girls being raped" ? Most of it fake. I recall watch some program on television about that industry. No way it real 13 yo girls and real rape - that a movie. Have you thought about that? would it make difference for you if video would call "75-year-old girls being raped" and so on ...

2. Second thing that come to my mind reading about that is Do you really afraid about facts of it or only begin to worry during divorce / custody process?

3. And last from my point of view there is no way any parent (mother or father) would not do something REAL (not writing on a forum) about that if thous are REAL worries and not just something to use against other parent in court....

I kind of understand why Mess react like that. Just try to put your self on other side of the screen. What would you do when you read that some mom worry about father being into inappropriate porn and asking advice on a forum ?

Nothing personal as I said - just my 5 cents, if anyone really need it...
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 06-10-2011, 03:30 PM
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mummer - you are not a woman's rights activist. You are a "mummer activist". You are railing against an issue that the courts have already determined you are wrong about. As an adult, your daughter has an obligation to support herself in the advancement of her education. Part of the reason for this is she is the sole beneficiary of the education, and as such should have an active role in finding the means to get it. If you are looking for a way for her to get a free education, might I suggest moving to Sweden.....I hear they like your brand of socialism over there.

Canadamama - I do not agree with kiddie porn in anyway. As the father to a 6y/o girl, I find it disgusting. However, unless your ex has been charged, and more importantly convicted, of possession of child pornography, I must stay on the side of the law, which states he has a right to parenting time with his children. You say you found it, well, you should have taken the appropriate steps at that point to remedy the situation, which would have been to turn your evidence over to the authorities. After that, his rights to a relationship with his children would have been rightfully restricted. But as that isn't what happened, and all you have now is your word against his, you're arguments lose a lot of weight.
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 06-10-2011, 03:35 PM
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yep if it is serious to be scared about dad having the kids then it is serious enough to report to the police. If the images are real then some poor child is being raped and exploited and the mother just worries about her kids being with their father. To me not reporting it to the authorites so the police can track down the child in the video and help them is just as bad as looking at the child porn
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 06-10-2011, 03:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HammerDad View Post
mummer - you are not a woman's rights activist. You are a "mummer activist". You are railing against an issue that the courts have already determined you are wrong about. As an adult, your daughter has an obligation to support herself in the advancement of her education. Part of the reason for this is she is the sole beneficiary of the education, and as such should have an active role in finding the means to get it. If you are looking for a way for her to get a free education, might I suggest moving to Sweden.....I hear they like your brand of socialism over there.
HummerDAD you are as always good. "mummer activist" -

Quote:
Canadamama - I do not agree with kiddie porn in anyway. As the father to a 6y/o girl, I find it disgusting. However, unless your ex has been charged, and more importantly convicted, of possession of child pornography, I must stay on the side of the law, which states he has a right to parenting time with his children. You say you found it, well, you should have taken the appropriate steps at that point to remedy the situation, which would have been to turn your evidence over to the authorities. After that, his rights to a relationship with his children would have been rightfully restricted. But as that isn't what happened, and all you have now is your word against his, you're arguments lose a lot of weight.
100% agree.
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 06-10-2011, 03:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by standing on the sidelines View Post
yep if it is serious to be scared about dad having the kids then it is serious enough to report to the police. If the images are real then some poor child is being raped and exploited and the mother just worries about her kids being with their father. To me not reporting it to the authorites so the police can track down the child in the video and help them is just as bad as looking at the child porn
I would say it worst. Person who watch it at least did not pretend how much it worry him and all that bla bla...

I truly believe that people who into child porn is sick and need intervention. I just can not get it. Something obviously should be wired different in brain of such individuals... Very heavy topic to take on to be honest when you try to analyze what roots of all this...

sorry for little off-topic.
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