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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Political Issues

Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #151 (permalink)  
Old 11-25-2013, 01:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
Giving birth to the children is probably the exact type of thing we have to be compensating women for because they have no choice in the matter and it has definitely long term financial impact because practically speak for about 1 year they are out of the work forice.

Spousal support currently RECOGNIZES in the case of sole custody the revenue lost to the custodial parent by becoming the one responsible for the children. When you pay spousal support you are in fact also compensating the mother for earnings lost because she has sole custody and has to continue to make life long sacrifices for the children....
Sorry, its that sort of thinking that has put women in their predicament in the first place! I personally would not expect to be compensated for giving birth. I am insulted that I am being recognized as just some stay at home babymaker by the law. I worked hard and got educated, I earn a six figure income, and if and when I want a child I can have one. I would get maternity leave for a time and be back to work to support my child. If that meant hiring a nanny to take care of the baby, and do a little cooking and cleaning in my absence I could do that too. If the father was in my life, it would only be because I loved him, and he enhanced my life. I would certainly NOT expect to have to pay him some long term pension if he stayed at home, and we later we split up. However, the laws would probably force me to since he provided some child care for HIS child and did the chores a nanny could do. Where does this sense of "entitlement" to spousal support come from?
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  #152 (permalink)  
Old 11-25-2013, 01:10 PM
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And this is why I left this forum years ago. Shouldn't have returned.

I may be bitter, but I didn't try to leave my ex (or children) high and dry. But it seems to be OK to you two for my EX to ruin me.

Your sense of entitlement appears to be the same as my ex. And I made things easier by giving her money ($200K/yr voluntary at separation, paid for new car, left med & dental in place, had money aside for kid's education, supported her new "love of her life", had kids 1/2 the time, and she knew she was getting the paid for home, AND YET, she tried to ruin me and came really close.

I clearly answered your question about my partner issue during divorce. You just can't see it.

I also made it clear that even if she had a good paying job, she could chase me for more because I was successful.
the unfair bit, I mentioned about Family Law.

Just to have it all, it seems. Yet she never seemed to understand the damage she was doing to me, the kids, or the finances that fueled it all. Turned into HER, HER, HER!

I am sorry you two married the devil, turns out I married his sister. Doesn't start that way, but............

None of us would have done it, if we knew the outcome, but that shouldn't mean ruin at divorce. It shouldn't also mean money for life, for free.
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  #153 (permalink)  
Old 11-25-2013, 01:21 PM
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I did state that it didn't go as badly as Family Law would have allowed. I did say that the fallout work-wise was terrible.

I lost 3/4 of my income, a future fortune, and pay support in 3 figures.

Just because I retired well doesn't mean that I didn't lose big to an "overtly" entitled spouse, directly or indirectly.

People wonder why men, mostly, try to hide assets if they can. Because if they don't, they are screwed over way too much.....just saying.

I this case, she hurt the kid's the most by having a big hand in destroying what would have been millions in inheritance in the years to come. Now an capital I have have is been eaten up in support payments.

Last edited by piggybanktoex; 11-25-2013 at 01:25 PM.
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  #154 (permalink)  
Old 11-25-2013, 01:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Janibel View Post
BRAVO! (look at my avatar lol) this old girl has spent 27 years of her life as a stay at home traditional housewife. It was a mutual decision from the get-go and honestly, do you think that my STBX would have tolerated the situation had he not been happy about it? He would have filed for a divorce after 2-3 years had I been sitting on my a$$ watching soap-opera's?

Of course he attempted to have it stopped - nobody wants to give money to a spouse they no longer have any use for. The judge saw just reason to grant it to me and it will be indefinite.

Yes I receive SS and have never felt ashamed about it - why should I? I have invested time and energy into his career and saved him thousands with my 'housewifey' contribution. I am the one who asked for the divorce and my decision had nothing to do with wanting a 'life-time' meal ticket.

Why should I have to approach retirement with nothing but a minimum wage or welfare when the STBX's criminal actions made living with him intolerable?

Each case is different to be sure - but like it or not SS will not go away nor should it be abolished.
I suppose i should point out that in your case, given that you were married for 27 years, I can't argue too much with your views on the matter. However, perhaps these views were heavily influenced by the whole "June Cleaver" stereotype of the stay at home parent. I think more modern relationships involve both parents taking on a share of the housework and childcare. Most modern women I know would not allow their husband to come home from work and sit in his chair while they ran to grab his slippers and the newspaper. Those days are long gone, a more modern approach needs to be adopted, and soon.
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  #155 (permalink)  
Old 11-25-2013, 01:36 PM
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Posting here is a mistake for me.

I'm ranting in my corner, and you are ranting in yours. There is no agreement to be found.

Divorce is a mess for everyone, the reasons for, the separation, and even after the divorce decree.

Good luck everyone, try not to hurt each other too much, both for your children's sake, and your own sake.

I will try to avoid this site as my divorce is settled except for the payments and the hurt. I can't change any of it by being here.

Hopefully the hurt will fade and the payments do stop in a decade and a half.
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  #156 (permalink)  
Old 11-25-2013, 01:39 PM
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OK. Now I got you.

You lost a FUTURE fortune.
You weren't ruined but suffered a "fall-out work wise."
If you don't hide assets you would be screwed over.


This reminds me of my ex. His own affidavits sink him.

Enjoy your retirement and your "hidden assets."

So you don't leave the forum again you poor dear, I'll let you carry on grunting and moaning with those who will likely tell you exactly what you want to here.
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