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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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Old 02-15-2006, 03:46 AM
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Default Unjust alimony payment requirements in today's laws

After 8 years of marriage I am divorcing my wife, but my lawyer said that I must pay to support her for another 5 years! I don't think it's fair that I should have to pay her support since she ruined our marriage by stopped sleeping with me, cheated on me with several men, ignored our children and slept in every morning and smoked and played games on our computer and on the internet all day and night into the wee hours of the morning until she passed out from exhaustion, wasted our family money and put us into debt by making a lot of unecessary purchasing and travelling (Vegas, etc), and never worked or earned a single penny during our marriage. I think it's fair that I should receive compensation from her for what I had to endure from her ruining our marriage and destroying our family. In law, we honour God's commandment that "Thow shalt not Kill" because we have very strong punshiment in our courts for those that break that law. Yet we do not honour God's commandment "Thow shalt not commit adultery" because there is no punishment in our courts for it. We allow situations such as mine to flourish.
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Old 02-15-2006, 12:22 PM
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Wow. Sorry to hear about what you're going through.

Does not seem like a very responsible spouse. I'd say you would be considered the primary caregiver in this case, as such, let her support you and the kids.

Hubby
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Old 02-15-2006, 01:33 PM
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Graet point regarding God's Commandments. What about "Thy shalt not lie". I've been so slandered, and continue to be, that I don't know who they're talking about on paper; it sure isn't me!How about "thy shalt not covet".. This includes many things.. 'neighbor's' wife(someone else's spouse), someone else's material things etc. There are so many Commandments broken on a regular basis, yet our secular world allows and accepts it therefore our law system in turn overlooks many misgivings. Just read these posts, there is SO much wrongdoing to SO many people it's almost ...dare I say "unjust".
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Old 02-15-2006, 01:49 PM
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So true ! Gktt

We are torn between God's laws and direction on how to live a good life while in the courts it is turned on its head.............yet you place your hand on the Bible in legal proceedings and swear to tell the truth....what for, when the commandments that are in that same book are broken and misconduct in the marriage goes without consequences and may even have rewards.

Thou shalt not bear false witness, and people with their lawyers do this in court proceedings with impunity. No fault divorce should be used in uncontested situations.
What was a lie becomes truth,and what was true is now a lie.
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Old 02-16-2006, 11:09 AM
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Welcome to the Wally World that is Canada Family Law. I find our Family Law rewards so much bad behaviour, it is mind boggling.

As a guy, and Dad, you must basically not try to make sense of any of it. And do what I call "Damage Control". Try to get out with the best you can, and move on. If you pay 4 years spousal, be thankful it is not 5. If you pay 100% child support, be glad you do not pay 100% child support with 50-50 access. Sad, eh.

I know lots of guys paying full child support, to an ex making equal amount of money as them (after securing the kids for more than 60% of the time), and living with the guy she left the father for. I have 100's of these. Or simply look at case law after case law. It simply boggles the mind.

But to get back to your point. There is a SCC decision occuring now about getting more spousal support because the marriage broke down under duress of adultry. So, you should petition the SCC with the exact opposite arguement.

I wish you good luck.
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Old 05-09-2006, 09:23 PM
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I did not want to bring up the whole other story that I also have children and believe it or not have to pay 100% child support on top of it. I guess since I don't have the resources myself, I wrote in hopes that perhaps some bright, eager young law student who'd be willing to fight to change this part of Family Law, would read my story so future Husbands and Dad's won't continue to suffer the same fate.
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Old 05-09-2006, 09:55 PM
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We live in a secular society( thankfully!) adultery is not against the law.

Would you like to start stoning non virgins in the streets? How about people who work on Sundays? Should we choose to bring back slavery since the bible says it is ok? Should we pass a law that requires everyone to eat kosher? My point is that is your religious belief and we live in a secular society ( although based on a judeo christian background)

I'm sure you feel the law is unjust - did your wife hire childcare while the kids were home the first 5 years? Since she wasn't working? Did you stay at home to care for them? Why did you wait 8 years to leave?

Divorce is generally no fault - her behaviour during the marriage will have little impact.
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Old 05-09-2006, 10:11 PM
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I don't have the BC Court of Appeals decision handy - Lindsay, LV - you might have access to quicklaw, but Decent Dad brings up a point about this particular case because it deals specifically with the issue of spousal support and adultery.

Going off my memory, I believe that the case is as follows:

-Long term marriage
-Wife was home during the marriage
-Hubby had an affair
-Divorce occurred
-Wife rightfully received spousal support for a fixed term.

Here is where it went south...

-Fixed term has passed.
-Wife has developed serious personal problems and is unemployable
-Wife wants a continuation of spousal support citing that hubby's affair caused her to develop personal problems and become unemployable.

(I think that's the gyst of this case.)

If the SCC upholds the lower court ruling, it may possibly bring the concept of fault right back into divorce. Should that occur, then presumably it would be open season on any matter of divorce related disputes - spousal support included.
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Old 05-09-2006, 10:35 PM
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Well had fault been a factor instead of compensation as well as income sharing I would have probably done better support wise. As it was I did do well.

I would imagine fault runs both ways. Your wife pberb could fling a lot of mud your way as well. There is a saying - 3 sides to the story - yours, mine and the truth. Things are never clear cut. Sure she had an affair- but she could claim you drove her to it. ( this is coming from someone who was cheated on) IMO that is why it is simpler to not have fault brought in at all.

From Jeff's info area
Quote:
"My spouse was unfaithful to me. Do I still have to pay spousal support?"
Your spouse's misconduct is generally irrelevant when determining whether you must pay spousal support. In fact, there have even been cases where a wife stabbed her husband and the wife was still entitled to spousal support"
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Old 05-09-2006, 11:05 PM
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For those of you who feel that adultery should be punishable, I feel the need to ask you if you are ever planning on remarrying or resuming a sexual relationship with someone other then your spouse? Wouldn't your religions see THAT as adultery. You marry for life in most religions and your churches don't grant divorces. I am wondering how many of you feel about this? Is it different to you? should that be punishable?
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