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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 03-30-2012, 10:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
Paranoia and the feeling like everyone is conspiring against you is a pretty indicative sign of you having some issues.

Tayken and BillM: Thank you for your thoughtful comments. Very well said.
That is an excellent observation you made. Anxiety can cause people to create situations in their head that just don't exist. "Fear" is a major factor in family law litigation. 90% of affidavit material is peppered with "fears" that the other party is going to do something really bad.

It reads as an "annihilation anxiety" to me...

Annihilation Anxieties - eNotes.com

Good Luck!
Tayken
  #22 (permalink)  
Old 03-30-2012, 02:21 PM
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culture, politics, immigration, language, employment etc differs by region , these factors can influence types of statistics.

however the graphed data shows child placement % relatively equal across the country regardless of region.

ponder the odds of 13 sets (regions) of data having similar % naturally if without influence.

what's the social impact , could it be self perpetuating in some way?

please post your views as this is a faceless forum, dont worry about ridicule if this topic is important to you.

Last edited by pokeman; 03-30-2012 at 02:23 PM. Reason: mobil device spelling issues
  #23 (permalink)  
Old 05-02-2012, 12:22 AM
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was hoping for some more feedback

here's what i think based on my experience

whats charted is 'bias', its deep and its
wide and charted it looks organized,
and thats why the Canadian Government
currently isnt intervening ...

my kids are in the 3+ with female column today
so my opinion counts.

my file involve 20+ individuals, about 90% female
and 10% male.

i never heard once 'poor kids', what I did hear is
'that poor women without her children'.

here's a few examples of leaning towards one sex :

under supervision the mother was reprimanded by male body guard,
memo from the supervision company female chair to court = 'No major issues'

under probation mother left children with someone her herself
swore was 'not trustworthy' , child broke wrist in this persons
care while mother took off with boyfriend ..

in court - i the only male , not even mentioned what she did ...

cause the mother was in such deep sh1te the worst came out in
those whom believe 'mothers only' and so I speak to what I experienced.

emergency protection order for me (male) granted .... not enforced;
3.5 yrs child support for children in my care ............. denied;
parallel parenting due to abuse I suffered ................ denied;


In calgary alberta canada my children were beaten till they bleed from
the mouth, i was attacked and beaten in front of children, roles reversed this case was over in about 10 minutes ...

what fathers brutally beat their children and wives and get custody - or even see their children.

its not the written law thats discriminating against fathers, its those
practising it and the supporting infrastructure ...

Until the Government of Canada legislates '50/50' the odd's are fathers
are shoving $ into a system that in the long run just hurts their children
futures once they are buried in debt ...

look at the charts ... have a good laugh at the 'your paranoid' posts BUT more importantly visit your MLA's - write your MP .. they already know but arent going to do anything about it till votes are at stake ... get mad if thats what it takes and make a difference.

edit : just wanted to add, in 2008 the mothers income was +80,000$, mine was less, i never got a dime in child support, in 2010 when children were transfered to her, it took the court 12 minutes to grant her a child support order ...

Last edited by pokeman; 05-02-2012 at 01:04 AM. Reason: layout, spacing - still cant spell - sentence out of order
  #24 (permalink)  
Old 05-02-2012, 04:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pokeman View Post
was hoping for some more feedback

here's what i think based on my experience

whats charted is 'bias', its deep and its
wide and charted it looks organized,
and thats why the Canadian Government
currently isnt intervening ...

my kids are in the 3+ with female column today
so my opinion counts.

my file involve 20+ individuals, about 90% female
and 10% male.

i never heard once 'poor kids', what I did hear is
'that poor women without her children'.

here's a few examples of leaning towards one sex :

under supervision the mother was reprimanded by male body guard,
memo from the supervision company female chair to court = 'No major issues'

under probation mother left children with someone her herself
swore was 'not trustworthy' , child broke wrist in this persons
care while mother took off with boyfriend ..

in court - i the only male , not even mentioned what she did ...

cause the mother was in such deep sh1te the worst came out in
those whom believe 'mothers only' and so I speak to what I experienced.

emergency protection order for me (male) granted .... not enforced;
3.5 yrs child support for children in my care ............. denied;
parallel parenting due to abuse I suffered ................ denied;


In calgary alberta canada my children were beaten till they bleed from
the mouth, i was attacked and beaten in front of children, roles reversed this case was over in about 10 minutes ...

what fathers brutally beat their children and wives and get custody - or even see their children.

its not the written law thats discriminating against fathers, its those
practising it and the supporting infrastructure ...

Until the Government of Canada legislates '50/50' the odd's are fathers
are shoving $ into a system that in the long run just hurts their children
futures once they are buried in debt ...

look at the charts ... have a good laugh at the 'your paranoid' posts BUT more importantly visit your MLA's - write your MP .. they already know but arent going to do anything about it till votes are at stake ... get mad if thats what it takes and make a difference.

edit : just wanted to add, in 2008 the mothers income was +80,000$, mine was less, i never got a dime in child support, in 2010 when children were transfered to her, it took the court 12 minutes to grant her a child support order ...
Take it up with your MPP and MP. Provide the police incident reports and CAS reports. Work on legislative change not negative advocacy. Stop being a victim and work towards change in a positive way. Systemic problems you believe that exist should be addressed through legislative change...

Furthermore, your continued insulting and self centered approach to the resolution of this problem in this very post may identify why what happened to you.

Trying to vent on a public message board isn't going to get you anywhere and isn't building you any supporters.

Good Luck!
Tayken
  #25 (permalink)  
Old 05-02-2012, 08:53 AM
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Pokeman, I am sorry for what has happened to you, really.

That doesn't change the fact that you are biased due to your own experience, it is affecting your ability to look at data critically. In order to get any positive action taken on any issue, you have to present your issue and arguments in an analytical fashion.

Presenting raw data from across the country means nothing. It is going to vary from province to province, for different reasons, it will vary from one economic group to another, it will vary by gender for good reasons and it will vary by gender for bad reasons.

You need to have a tighter focus and show where, why, and how the bias affects the results. You aren't doing that, you are just ranting.

If you want to come on here and blow off some steam, there is nothing wrong with that, we all do it. But it's not reasonable to come on and rant and then complain that you aren't getting the response you want. We aren't obligated to respond the way you think we should.
  #26 (permalink)  
Old 05-02-2012, 09:48 AM
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I agree with Mess. If your story is true (do you have a link to your court decision?)...you have truly suffered and so have your children...so you have my sympathies. I don't understand violent people...never have. I can't understand anyone who thinks they have the right to physically hurt children or a spouse because they're stronger.

However, you can't take your one (very extreme) example and extrapolate it to all of Canada. Situational bias may exist in the courts because historically women have simply done more of the child rearing in the past but I do not buy that there's a conspiracy of courts letting women get away with beating up their kids and husband and giving them the whole farm in return.

I agree that more needs to be done for men that may be suffering through abuse because it does happen...but men's groups need to champion that like women's groups have championed the same.

During the MIP session I attended a while back, one of the men asked where the Men's Shelter was in my area...and was told "there isn't one" by the lawyer doing the presentation.

He then replied "Why? Men get beaten too."

And her response was...

"Because you haven't opened one yet."
  #27 (permalink)  
Old 05-02-2012, 03:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pursuinghappiness View Post
"Because you haven't opened one yet."
Not a great answer but, not a bad one either. Men are unwilling to talk about and address the issues of "intimate partner abuse" they suffer. In North America there are only 2-3 men's shelters.

Really, if we address the whole issue of "intimate partner abuse" properly there shouldn't be a need for a shelter for either gender. But, that is a pipe dream really.
  #28 (permalink)  
Old 05-03-2012, 12:03 AM
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Tayken:

I took her point to mean that it took an organized movement to create women's shelters and now that times are changing and there are more cases of abused men coming forward, that men need to organize and create the same.

Its true coming forward about abuse is probably difficult for men...but I doubt its easy for women either.
  #29 (permalink)  
Old 05-03-2012, 07:54 AM
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this thread wasnt suppose to be about 'me'

its just I am describing my experience why
my children are in the 'with female 3+ children' .

i have tried to speak to as many fathers as possible
about their court experience, i dont have alot of data
but generally almost all of them have every 2nd weekend
and weds night access, the few that have custody was either
due to the mother dieing or leaving else extrodinary events
like their children running on the streets at night to
get to their father. Only recently I found a 50/50 arrangement,
the mother had multiple child endangerment charges and he
wrangled up a 50/50.

i will add some of these fathers commented something was 'wrong'
in court though they couldnt articulate what it was beyond a 'feeling'.

these fathers experiences somewhat align with my experience.


what is about 'me' is my last lawyer told me 'they are going to discriminate against you and thats just the way it is here' , can I prove that .. 'No' ,
however I let the lawyer go because the children were telling me
their lady therapist was telling them they are girls and girls live
with their mothers' and my lawyer wouldnt do anything about it. so i let them go and they wrote me 'there is nothing I could do about it, they (Judge included) wanted to give her another chance' , that I can prove.

thats discrimination by the way, this is the infrastructure I am
refering to that is deep and wide and has the interests of 1 sex over the other.

so as far as I am concerned the Court system manufactured me and my
views.

50/50 has to be legislated

as you may know 1 law has been changed because of what was done
to these children so I know changes can be made.

I am currently in human rights court on some of these matters so
not disclosing everything , all i have is the truth and frankly to
date its been of very little value.
  #30 (permalink)  
Old 05-03-2012, 10:45 AM
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Quote:
I am currently in human rights court on some of these matters so
not disclosing everything , all i have is the truth and frankly to
date its been of very little value.
You're in human rights court so you can't post a Canlii link to an already closed matter?

Why? If its a public document it can't possibly have any implication to what you're discussing here. And obviously, if you're trying to get support for a cause or even trying to justify an argument, it would be extremely relevant.

Forgive me for saying this but put up or shut up. This is honestly where posters like you fall apart. You want to rant and rave...and no one here is going to fall for that. If you've truly been done an injustice and something needs to change and you want support in your effort, then have the conviction to show how you were mistreated.

Otherwise, you simply come off as another dried up, angry, bitter poster who didn't get what they wanted and who needs an audience to whine to.

Post the link.
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