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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2016, 12:41 AM
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I hear a lot of men carping about how much they resent paying spousal support to an ex-wife (although not all of them refer to the mother of their children as a streetcorner whore, which says a lot more about the man than the ex-wife), and I think, well, what were you thinking when the two of you decided that it was okay if the wife stayed out of the workforce (and it really is the two of you, I don't buy the theory that the husband had no choice but to support his wife against his will)? Presumably you had some concept that divorce existed and could happen to you - it's not like divorce was invented last year. If you went along with the situation during your marriage but now suddenly it's all wrong because you have to pay up, I don't really have much sympathy.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2016, 03:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
I never said women were whores... It is just annoying to pay spousal support to whores (not implying women are whores)...

Self-sufficient or SAHM - it doesn't matter - only the cup size matters and I don't want to pay a penny when the relationship ends. Marriage should be like prostitution except you just pay a monthly fee not a per use fee, not like a bad cell phone plan - high monthly fees, underwhelming service and then when you cancel you have to pay balance anyways



(relax I am kidding)
It isn't very funny. You have zero acknowledgement that you married an unskilled, unmotivated person who had zero intention of working. One can only assume that's what you wanted in a spouse, because you married her. You basically did this to yourself. It wasn't until things soured did you even look into the spousal support situation and how much you would owe. Not an intelligent approach to marriage at all. The law didn't do this to you, you did.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2016, 05:20 PM
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My ex-wife has no idea how I refer to her and neither do my kids, I do it hear here as a form of catharsis. Its my little safe space to say what I like and as long as I behave like i respect her for the sake of a judge and the kids, it's all fine & dandy. Remember, I've been to court 16 times and cross-examined her in front of judges and her lawyers and though she knows I think she is trash and she has tried to get a judge to acknowledge it, none of them have. I'm polite enough off the internet.

You can't make anybody do anything, my ex didn't want to work, it wasn't a big deal during the marriage because she contributed in other ways and I appreciated it and while money wasn't great, I know the net cost of her working during the marriage was marginal (i.e: the doctor , secretary marriage)

The catch is that after the end of the marriage, I no longer benefit from her contribution but she benefits from mine (permanently in fact). In Quebec, you at least have the choice to manage relationships as you like but in the rest of Canada. The act of simply living with somebody automatically confers rights up on them.

Imagine, living with somebody for 5 years will automatically give them 50% of your home.. it is completely criminal.

Yes, I was aware of divorce existing but I had no idea of the way it is settled and I wasn't informed, nor educated about it, neither in school nor anywhere else and I never signed any document saying I accept the pay alimony in the event of a divorce because if I was offered such a document I would have definitely not married her and just kept her on the side.

Did I marry somebody unskilled etc... not really she has a university degree she worked more than I did up until university. She isn't very bright (not her fault, lack of childhood stimiulation) but I didn't marry her for her money. Guys don't do that, we make our own money, we marry for sex and looks that's why young women are in demand and older women are not and women marry for resources and power (generally speaking). It isn't bad, it's just the way things are - the problem is divorce skews all that because women retain their resources at divorce time and men give them up.

Last edited by Links17; 08-05-2016 at 05:26 PM.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2016, 05:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
My ex-wife has no idea how I refer to her and neither do my kids, I do it hear here as a form of catharsis. Its my little safe space to say what I like and as long as I behave like i respect her for the sake of a judge and the kids, it's all fine & dandy.

You can't make anybody do anything, my ex didn't want to work, it wasn't a big deal during the marriage because she contributed in other ways and I appreciated it and while money wasn't great, I know the net cost of her working during the marriage was marginal (i.e: the doctor , secretary marriage)

The catch is that after the end of the marriage, I no longer benefit from her contribution but she benefits from mine (permanently in fact). In Quebec, you at least have the choice to manage relationships as you like but in the rest of Canada. The act of simply living with somebody automatically confers rights up on them.

Imagine, living with somebody for 5 years will automatically give them 50% of your home.. it is completely criminal.

Yes, I was aware of divorce existing but I had no idea of the way it is settled and I wasn't informed, nor educated about it, neither in school nor anywhere else and I never signed any document saying I accept the pay alimony in the event of a divorce because if I was offered such a document I would have definitely not married her and just kept her on the side.
It isn't permanent, you've said so yourself. 4 years I believe you stated you paid spousal support for.

The reality is that you benefited greatly from her being at home and during that time she did not. She didn't graduate college, she didn't find a great career, she existed on your funds. Presumably the way you wanted it. Until you didn't want her anymore. In fact, it may be arguable that you didn't want her working at all during your marriage.

You could have had a document produced that indicated in the event of marriage dissolution she gets nothing. That's called a Prenuptial Agreement.
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2016, 05:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
My ex-wife has no idea how I refer to her and neither do my kids, I do it hear here as a form of catharsis. Its my little safe space to say what I like and as long as I behave like i respect her for the sake of a judge and the kids, it's all fine & dandy. Remember, I've been to court 16 times and cross-examined her in front of judges and her lawyers and though she knows I think she is trash and she has tried to get a judge to acknowledge it, none of them have. I'm polite enough off the internet.

You can't make anybody do anything, my ex didn't want to work, it wasn't a big deal during the marriage because she contributed in other ways and I appreciated it and while money wasn't great, I know the net cost of her working during the marriage was marginal (i.e: the doctor , secretary marriage)

The catch is that after the end of the marriage, I no longer benefit from her contribution but she benefits from mine (permanently in fact). In Quebec, you at least have the choice to manage relationships as you like but in the rest of Canada. The act of simply living with somebody automatically confers rights up on them.

Imagine, living with somebody for 5 years will automatically give them 50% of your home.. it is completely criminal.

Yes, I was aware of divorce existing but I had no idea of the way it is settled and I wasn't informed, nor educated about it, neither in school nor anywhere else and I never signed any document saying I accept the pay alimony in the event of a divorce because if I was offered such a document I would have definitely not married her and just kept her on the side.

Did I marry somebody unskilled etc... not really she has a university degree she worked more than I did up until university. She isn't very bright (not her fault, lack of childhood stimiulation) but I didn't marry her for her money. Guys don't do that, we make our own money, we marry for sex and looks that's why young women are in demand and older women are not and women marry for resources and power (generally speaking). It isn't bad, it's just the way things are - the problem is divorce skews all that because women retain their resources at divorce time and men give them up.
Good lord. Not a single one of these sentences is true. Maybe you yourself married a dumb younger woman solely for sex and are now upset because you discovered there are consequences for your actions, but most men are better (and smarter) than that.

The extremes with which you describe your ex - she's a whore, she's trash, she's stupid, she's garbage, she gives blowjobs on streetcorners - remind me of the phenomenon of "splitting", in which people react to a perceived abandonment (say, their spouse gets fed up with them and wants a divorce) by deciding that the other party must be purely evil and despicable, while they themselves are strong, powerful, win all the time, are absolutely great. It's a way of defending against the possibility that the other party might actually have some legitimate grievances and you yourself might not be so wonderful.
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2016, 06:20 PM
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This thread is hilarious!

I'm an "older" woman I suppose. I don't want to get married, least of all to someone who is looking for a nurse (which is what you will be looking for someday I'm sure).

Let me tell you a thing or two Links. I married young and married a man I admired. I married with the intent of working together with my husband to make a wonderful future. I gladly gave him whatever was mine and he did the same. I certainly didn't foresee what I ended up going through. I'm sure my ex would say the same thing. No one can predict the future.

I lost over 500k and a life-time worth of hopes and dreams of a future where the two of us would grow 'really' old together. We both lost the family unit. Nothing will repair the relationship lost between our son and his father.

If you are proud of going to court "16 times" with your ex then you need to do some soul searching. Some people feel the need to stay connected to their ex's and they keep the battle going.

I hope you can find something positive to channel your energies into someday. Some years from now you will probably look back and shake your head over everything. I am aghast at the time and money spent in court with my ex.

Someday when you get older you may round that corner where you ask yourself if the 16 times in court was worth it. You came out a winner but do you think anyone in your current circle of friends really give a shit? Is your court prowess going to be your pick-up line or main conversation when you meet another woman you are interested in having a relationship with?

Last edited by arabian; 08-05-2016 at 06:28 PM.
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2016, 06:21 PM
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It's permanent in the sense because she will still earn at least roughly 6000 * 15 years = $90,000 in child support payments which is tax free. It converts into about $150,000 of gross income salary and I get 0 from her.

That money is on to of the fact I will pay the lion's share of special expenses and all the actual cost of raising the children.

Prenups don't mean jack in Canada - if they did it would be great
Michael McCain divorce case shows pitfalls of keeping family fortune | National Post

I'm using colorful language to describe my ex- it's 50% trolling but she is actually a terrible person, she isn't the worst in the world but she is terrible.

Who appeals an alimony termination order at 35 years old? Not contest, APPEAL! I am embarrassed for her, how pathetic.

Who refuses to work between the age of 32-35 (while being bilingual, educated an healthy?). Refuses to support their children

Who shamelessly leaves their kids with their old mother while the father of the kids is down the street begging to take them and goes on a 2 week vacation while SHE has them as per court order for vacation?

Who tries to put the father in jail, over 3000$ while receiving 2500$/month from him (literally)

She isn't the devil, but she is exceptionally bad and I am comparing this to the people on this forum and the case law I have read, it isn't a subjective thing.

The cheating is practically a non-issue, as far as I am concerned she just wanted out of the relationship with me (which is fine) but didn't have the balls to do it.

The only catch is she needs to take care of herself because I am a package, you can't have sex with other people and expect me to pay for you to do it. You can't travel the world while I work 9-5.... it's disgusting - oh wait, you can - thanks to spousal support.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2016, 06:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
It's permanent in the sense because she will still earn at least roughly 6000 * 15 years = $90,000 in child support payments which is tax free. It converts into about $150,000 of gross income salary and I get 0 from her.

That money is on to of the fact I will pay the lion's share of special expenses and all the actual cost of raising the children.

Prenups don't mean jack in Canada - if they did it would be great
Michael McCain divorce case shows pitfalls of keeping family fortune | National Post

I'm using colorful language to describe my ex- it's 50% trolling but she is actually a terrible person, she isn't the worst in the world but she is terrible.

Who appeals an alimony termination order at 35 years old? Not contest, APPEAL! I am embarrassed for her, how pathetic.

Who refuses to work between the age of 32-35 (while being bilingual, educated an healthy?). Refuses to support their children

Who shamelessly leaves their kids with their old mother while the father of the kids is down the street begging to take them and goes on a 2 week vacation while SHE has them as per court order for vacation?

Who tries to put the father in jail, over 3000$ while receiving 2500$/month from him (literally)

She isn't the devil, but she is exceptionally bad and I am comparing this to the people on this forum and the case law I have read, it isn't a subjective thing.

The cheating is practically a non-issue, as far as I am concerned she just wanted out of the relationship with me (which is fine) but didn't have the balls to do it.

The only catch is she needs to take care of herself because I am a package, you can't have sex with other people and expect me to pay for you to do it. You can't travel the world while I work 9-5.... it's disgusting - oh wait, you can - thanks to spousal support.

Actually the answer to your question is: your ideal mate

You like to argue and you like a lively debate. I suspect your ex does as well. You probably shared similar political views and/or debated on and on about them.

I think you are still hurt by your ex's cheating and you are simply trying to punish her?

More to life than court my friend. Finding a balance after years and years of court is a challenge. I know. I am trying to move forward.

I do hope you find some happiness someday. Life is very, very short.
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2016, 06:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arabian View Post
This thread is hilarious!

I'm an "older" woman I suppose. I don't want to get married, least of all to someone who is looking for a nurse (which is what you will be looking for someday I'm sure).

Let me tell you a thing or two Links. I married young and married a man I admired. I married with the intent of working together with my husband to make a wonderful future. I gladly gave him whatever was mine and he did the same. I certainly didn't foresee what I ended up going through. I'm sure my ex would say the same thing. No one can predict the future.

I lost over 500k and a life-time worth of hopes and dreams of a future where the two of us would grow 'really' old together. We both lost the family unit. Nothing will repair the relationship lost between my son and his father.

If you are proud of going to court "16 times" with your ex then you need to do some soul searching. Some people feel the need to stay connected to their ex's and they keep the battle going.

I hope you can find something positive to channel your energies into someday. Some years from now you will probably look back and shake your head over everything. I am aghast at the time and money spent in court with my ex.

Someday when you get older you may round that corner where you ask yourself if the 16 times in court was worth it. You came out a winner but do you think anyone in your current circle of friends really give a shit? Is your court prowess going to be your pick-up line or main conversation when you meet another woman you are interested in having a relationship with?
The difference between you and me is that your EX did that to you, in my case it is the COURT or the STATE that does it.

People are assholes and that's normal the problem is when the state/court is the one executing against you.

I am not winning for the fun of it... I am winning to get my kids and stop giving some random person money - I like to spend the money I earn myself or give it to people or causes I support or love.

Everything else is superfluous. I have 0 contact with my ex outside of court and exchange logistics and I make very careful to "not be connected" with her in anyways.

I didn't ask for any of this, but I sure as hell won't back down or comply with it.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 08-05-2016, 06:31 PM
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Honestly, my ex is not smart. she never was, it's the sad truth. She is good looking and charming but that's as far as it goes.

I am actually not hurt by the cheating, it was just sexting anyways honestly and the guy was murdered soon after, and then her dad died.... her life is pretty much terrible unless some guy rescues her. I am happy to be as far away as possible from her, she is dangerous.

It's all business now - you guys are interrupting my work :/

I'm also very happy, friends, family , kids, great jobs - I think people are starting to envy me now. My family si well off, we go boating, beaches, houses on the river, I have people over at my house often. Alimony is done, life is honestly spectacular but I can still stand up and stay the system is criminal.

Last edited by Links17; 08-05-2016 at 06:33 PM.
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