Ottawa Divorce .com Forums


User CP

New posts

Advertising

  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Political Issues

Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
  #11 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2013, 01:05 PM
plainNamedDad44's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 796
plainNamedDad44 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother View Post
I am all for it but how many cases you personally know when a father takes the children and moves them from the matrimonial home elsewhere, claims the primary custodian rights and acts as such and then the mother needs to prove in court that she has rights to be with the children at least 50% of the time, spending thousands of dollars in the process?

Just honestlly please tell me this. Thanks

Yes, I know for very sure there are bad, bad fathers out there. I also personally know tons of fathers that are million time better than any mother and I am mother myself. Thanks again.
Thank you for understanding so succinctly. Now, where is that box of Kleenex?

I think fathers have an uphill battle from the start, and you better have the skin to "fight".

The good news is that the system is slowly doing a 180 in my favor. There is a lot of inertia there and it takes a lot of effort (and you can get screwed by a bad lawyer in the meantime) but it is possible. I know. I am doing it.

Last edited by plainNamedDad44; 10-21-2013 at 01:09 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2013, 01:08 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 639
LostFather is on a distinguished road
Default

FatherAs someone who has spent over 85k in the family law INDUSTRY. I've seen criminal in their orange jump suits given more respect and room in front of a judge then most fathers. We're treated as checkbook daddies where are sole purpose is to pay...pay...pay. Fathers are not treated with equal standing and bias against fathers is clear and evident....however this treatment is allowed to continue. I haven't really seen an outcry from women...with the exception of a small few (god bless their soles) it usually isn't until they themselves who are now effected. Meaning now that some...and when I say some... I mean a few are experiencing having fathers with custody and majority of access...now having to pay CS....that now all of a sudden its an issue that they need to be included in. Personally I don't care what gender you are....what fathers go thru....or a mother...no one should be treated differently and should be given equal standing


It maybe unfortunate that some woman are now seeing the other side however IMO woman should join our cause and as a result maybe it will change for all.

Last edited by LostFather; 10-21-2013 at 01:11 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2013, 01:19 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 505
takeontheworld has a little shameless behaviour in the past
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyMomma View Post
How about justice for all of us - not just fathers?

Completely agreed. While I admit, men often have an uphil battle...its imperative for these men to know that there are women in the exact same situations.
Reply With Quote
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2013, 01:20 PM
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 78
toronto_father2 is on a distinguished road
Default

It would be therapeutic for me to do something. I cant see the child, mom is blocking reasonable access so if I cant spend time with the child and I`m not doing anything...why not hit the court house and log some time at the picket line...I`m not doing a call to action...its that in my sadness I have to do something productive...turn that sadness into action.
Reply With Quote
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2013, 01:20 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: GTA, ON
Posts: 537
Mother is an unknown quantity at this point
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by plainNamedDad44 View Post
Thank you for understanding so succinctly. Now, where is that box of Kleenex?

I think fathers have an uphill battle from the start, and you better have the skin to "fight".

The good news is that the system is slowly doing a 180 in my favor. There is a lot of inertia there and it takes a lot of effort (and you can get screwed by a bad lawyer in the meantime) but it is possible. I know. I am doing it.
Check your desk. Kleenex should be somewhere there.

They say "People deserve the governement they have" and this is true in our case as well. If we do nothing, we deserve what we have in family courts and we have no right to complain. I just want to do little something to change things. Every child and parent has right to be togethet equally. Violence excluded of course.
Reply With Quote
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2013, 01:40 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,836
stripes is on a distinguished road
Default

The first thing anyone needs to do to "change this" is document the existence of a problem. You need evidence to back up assertions that the court system is biased - personal stories, while they may be heartrending, do not prove the existence of systematic bias.

You need some good social scientists or legal scholars on your bandwagon. This is an area in which I teach, and I can tell you that there is *no* high-quality research out there which suggests that there's a gender bias in terms of family law outomes in the courts. That's not to say the bias doesn't exist, just that its existence has not been proven.

Individual experience is individual truth only - for collective truth, you need evidence. (Or, as my methodology professor used to say, "Data is not the plural of anecdote").


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother View Post
Check your desk. Kleenex should be somewhere there.

They say "People deserve the governement they have" and this is true in our case as well. If we do nothing, we deserve what we have in family courts and we have no right to complain. I just want to do little something to change things. Every child and parent has right to be togethet equally. Violence excluded of course.
Reply With Quote
  #17 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2013, 01:43 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In a very happy home.
Posts: 755
HappyMomma is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mother View Post
I am all for it but how many cases you personally know when a father takes the children and moves them from the matrimonial home elsewhere, claims the primary custodian rights and acts as such and then the mother needs to prove in court that she has rights to be with the children at least 50% of the time, spending thousands of dollars in the process?

Just honestlly please tell me this. Thanks

Yes, I know for very sure there are bad, bad fathers out there. I also personally know tons of fathers that are million time better than any mother and I am mother myself. Thanks again.
Just because it doesn't happen as often doesn't make it any less worthy of protest.
Reply With Quote
  #18 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2013, 01:49 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In a very happy home.
Posts: 755
HappyMomma is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by toronto_father2 View Post
It would be therapeutic for me to do something. I cant see the child, mom is blocking reasonable access so if I cant spend time with the child and I`m not doing anything...why not hit the court house and log some time at the picket line...I`m not doing a call to action...its that in my sadness I have to do something productive...turn that sadness into action.
Be careful here. I've read your previous post. You have a big battle ahead of you, and THAT is where you need to focus your attention. Protesting needs to take a backseat for now. Your new baby needs to know you and you CAN win but it will, unfortunately, take a lot of work. Don't let your attention to that battle get sidetracked!
Reply With Quote
  #19 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2013, 01:51 PM
plainNamedDad44's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 796
plainNamedDad44 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by toronto_father2 View Post
It would be therapeutic for me to do something. I cant see the child, mom is blocking reasonable access so if I cant spend time with the child and I`m not doing anything...why not hit the court house and log some time at the picket line...I`m not doing a call to action...its that in my sadness I have to do something productive...turn that sadness into action.
I pulled a forest gump. Started running 10km a day. kept me sane. I also lost 45lb.

It will get better brother. Stay healthy and fight like the devil. This site is excellent.
Reply With Quote
  #20 (permalink)  
Old 10-21-2013, 01:55 PM
plainNamedDad44's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 796
plainNamedDad44 is on a distinguished road
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyMomma View Post
Be careful here. I've read your previous post. You have a big battle ahead of you, and THAT is where you need to focus your attention. Protesting needs to take a backseat for now. Your new baby needs to know you and you CAN win but it will, unfortunately, take a lot of work. Don't let your attention to that battle get sidetracked!
HM is right. I said fight, but fight smart. Really smart.

Don't do anything that will cause you to be perceived as angry or unreasonable.

Last edited by plainNamedDad44; 10-21-2013 at 01:58 PM.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
holiday hours/days at the Family Court House - FLIC Office ddol1 Divorce & Family Law 3 12-26-2012 09:31 PM
"Don't Panic" - What Defines Urgency Before the Court? Tayken Reference 85 11-13-2012 10:08 PM
Supreme Court clamps down on changes to spousal support agreements realitychick Divorce & Family Law 2 12-22-2011 10:22 AM
Spouse doesnt want court but fails to negotiate. Wants to keep home, how to approach? pippidee Divorce & Family Law 1 12-20-2011 11:04 AM
paying child support without a court order Roni Divorce & Family Law 18 09-18-2010 07:47 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 01:54 AM.