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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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Old 10-05-2011, 04:05 PM
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Default Occupy Family Court

I recently have been feeling very down and jaded. Because I am waiting for the change that so many seem resigned to simply accept as the only way.

And then I remembered. It is not in me to accept injustice.





If you don't know what I am talking about that get tuned into the social revolution.

Yes the family courts suck - so CHANGE IT!





The family court is as big a problem as the other money makers controlling the show.

Stop telling me to accept it like there is nothing we can do to change the system.

I'm sure Martin Luther King Jr. was told to accept injustice. Damn good thing he didn't.

Welcome to the "Canadians For Family Law Reform" website
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Old 10-05-2011, 05:08 PM
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Gotta be careful with those down and jaded statements, if you have a vindictive ex she may try to use that against you.

As I understand your frustration, I don't think there's much we could do about it. Basically it all comes down to who has a better "weasel" for a lawyer, in words of my therapist. Learn to live with it.
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Old 10-05-2011, 05:18 PM
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"Learn to live with it."


Really?

Really?
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Old 10-05-2011, 07:22 PM
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Maybe you should suggest spellcheck to the founders of the website.

It offers absolutely zero comprehensive thoughts on proposed plans or strategies that would make the system better.

It targets lawyers instead of the true instigators of a family law nightmare - the crazy ex spouse.

Overall, not helpful and rather lame. If you expect a swell of movement, you need to at least put forth your thoughts in an articulate manner.
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Old 10-05-2011, 08:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcdreamy View Post
Maybe you should suggest spellcheck to the founders of the website.

It offers absolutely zero comprehensive thoughts on proposed plans or strategies that would make the system better.

It targets lawyers instead of the true instigators of a family law nightmare - the crazy ex spouse.

Overall, not helpful and rather lame. If you expect a swell of movement, you need to at least put forth your thoughts in an articulate manner.
Thank you for your commentary. While the bullet style of my post was not to your liking I can assure you I have articulated very thoroughly and clearly my issues regarding the family laws in Canada multiple times around this site. Not only that, but I have contacted EVERY MP in Canada, the Attorney General multiple times, my MPP's, newspapers, and online magazines.

What have you done?

So before you shrug your shoulders and say oh well it's just vindictive ex's (which I absolutely agree is a major problem), the fact is the laws allow this type of vindictiveness to even be allowed to play out. It is not a justice system it is machine that eats families resources at a greater speed than the debt machine. It is the judges, it is the lawyers, it is the laws themselves and therefore the politicians that make them. If there is no accountability in society every system can run a muck.

Maybe you haven't noticed but there is a social revolution going on. It is world wide. It is not being covered by mainstream media so perhaps you should go on Youtube/ Facebook/ or Twitter and type in Occupy. Then maybe my lame ideals of changing not only a defunct Capitalistic Society crazed with greed and power, and the need for change in multiple political spheres which includes but is not limited to family court might make a shred of sense to you.

While I am open to healthy debate at any time when you resort to the spelling argument as a means to be intellectually superior or some means of trying to diminish another than you resort to a rather low vantage to what otherwise could stay focused on thought.

But whatever and btw "spellcheck" is either spell check or spell-check.

Now if we can get to the point. Instead of bickering, which so many people seem to get off on, on this site perhaps you could put your energy into actually trying to make change instead of putting down those who are actually doing it.

There is a link I provided above. Use it!
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Old 10-05-2011, 08:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by karmaseeker View Post
What have you done?!
absolutely nothing! The system worked, for me. 2 reasonable adults sat down, agreed on the manner of separation and the manner of child rearing. And we have managed to do so, for the last 14 years. So you see, I'm not a proponent of changing the system.

Of course, I've also never allowed stepmothers or new girlfriends to affect or interfere with our agreed-to parenting strategies (along with crazy ex-spouses, new spouses interfering also a major problem).

Although I do empathize with some of the posters on this site, and I agree in certain situations some change or different methods of help would be desirable, [i.e. 50/50 parenting time], I'm not a carte blanche change the system kind of gal.

I in no way intended to put you down - is it your website? Although you have articulated your issues, you don't suggest any solutions. Which any reasonable person would expect following an argument, no? I could offer you some suggestions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by karmaseeker View Post
Then maybe my lame ideals of changing not only a defunct Capitalistic Society crazed with greed and power, and the need for change in multiple political spheres which includes but is not limited to family court might make a shred of sense to you.!
Crazed with greed and power? lol. I can assure you, my now current husband, who is a family law lawyer (haven't yet decided whether he will be ex #2, jury is still out on that), is in no way crazed or greedy. Frankly, most nights he comes home absolutely exhausted from the emotional drama that his clients put him through every day, week after week. Of course, he's supposed to be doing that for free, right?
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Old 10-05-2011, 09:05 PM
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Feel free to read what I wrote to the PM of Canada here:

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...ge-beast-9747/

Here you can read what I wrote to MP Vellacott (who also believes the system needs to change and will be presenting a bill.

Dear Mr. Vellacott,

I am forwarding you the response that I received from MP Joy Smith who pinpoints you as the Member of Parliament who has put on his agenda the vital need to amend the current Family and Divorce Laws in Canada. It is very much my hope that you continue this quest as I am aware of many cases of gross injustice through the current Legal System. I wrote to you my personal story on the 20th July (see below for easy reference) and I am in contact with many others who's stories are not far different. The time for change can not come soon enough for the current families trapped in a system that sets to destroy families with even farther reaching consequences of children who too often grow up with lifelong afflictions or delinquencies as a result of the current practices.

It is my belief that the following amendments need to be addressed as soon as possible so that Canada can preserve its health, integrity, and justice for all.

1. Automatic joint shared custody. With the onus on the the claimant to prove just cause to strip parental rights off of the other parent. I believe this is your plan with Bill C-422.

2. An overhaul of the Federal Guidelines so that people are not left in a substandard standard of living after Spousal Support/ Child Support/and or Section 7 awards have been paid out. This means they need to take into consideration monies actually taken home - not grossed up figures, differing tax brackets, tax benefits and awards given to the recipient, cost of living, percentage of access, etc.

The Federal Guidelines are far too simplistic to deal with individual cases in a fair or equalized manner.

3. Immediate removal from court any cases that have highlighted Child Alienation into a private Arbitration setting wherein there can be swift resolve as these cases prolong abuse on children.

4. Immediate end to treating dads like criminals stripping them of licenses or jail time. For these extreme cases - financial counselling or help should be offered to assist those behind in creating reasonable means of payment plans. Preventing men from either getting to work or being able to work at all seems to be the most ludicrous way of obtaining more financial support for their children. It strips his ability to earn and costs the tax payer more. Many men are not dead beats they just have been shafted so bad they are in a downward spiral that is quite simply impossible to get out of. Let's not have yet another suicide - robbing children of their fathers.

5. Accountability for those that break court orders. I'm all for volunteer hours when people breech contracts. Least it is more productive than other slaps on wrists. You didn't let daddy see his kids = 25 community hours at a homework club for disadvantaged children. You didn't pay your portion of section 7 - payment plus fine plus 25 hours teacher soccer at Tim Horton's camp. You didn't submit your paper work - Pick up garbage on the side of the Hwy. At present people can behave as badly as they want and fail to follow Court Orders with next to no consequences.

6. Having people abuse the court systems time and time again in vindictive and power plays benefits NO one. Repetitive motion makers need to cover the entire cost of the proceedings to discourage this vindictive behaviour.



I thank you for your time and efforts towards the cause. I look forward to hearing from you.

xxxxxx




Let me be quite clear. I do not have a vindictive ex. I never went through the system I raise a happy healthy child independent of ANY govt involvement or legal assistance. My partner on the other hand and his children are being abused. The sad thing is he is one of thousands. To say that the system is fine because a few get through unscathed is faulty logic. The system is flawed because thousands don't.

It is not my website it is simply a resource providing people with the tools and info to stand up for themselves and say Canada should know better!

Apathy solves nothing - ever.
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Old 10-05-2011, 09:13 PM
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the fact the website exists indicates there is a
problem, by itself it might be insignificant but
it will become a member of a much larger group and thats one of many ways to make change
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Old 10-05-2011, 09:17 PM
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Not a bad letter.

I sense you are a dad who is the victim of a difficult mother or something.

That is too bad and the current system's hysteria with "domestic violence" invites women to use shameful tactics such as "restaining orders" when they really don't have an issue with violence but with mis-communication with the partner.

I don't think "parental alienation" is even recognized by the Courts since it is not a recognized mental disorder yet.

Shared parenting should be presumptive except where shown to be inappropriate and those cases should be few and far between.
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Old 10-05-2011, 09:25 PM
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beebie:

here is my story: written to the desk of the PM and Every other MP

Good afternoon Sir,

I am writing you this letter as a plea for you to please put on your agenda the many unconstitutional and unjust issues around Family Law in Canada. I have always been a proud Canadian citizen who has traveled the world like an ambassador sharing stories of the wonderful, just, and free country Canada is. Sadly, now after only a small taste of family court in Canada, I am actually ashamed of this nations injustice, inequality, and cruel law system set up to rob families of financial securities, create lasting abuse on to the next generation of children, and most specifically steal from men their very essence of their role - that of a provider.

I am in a partnership with a wonderful man. We like many are a blended family and have had our trials and tribulations to provide stability and love for our combined children. Nothing would have prepared us for the battle and blow out of his ex's vengeance wielding family court as her weapon. I want to point out that the reasons their marriage failed were because she had a year and a half long affair with her best friends husband. But, divorce is a no fault system which means she is cleared of her accountability and free to continue to behave as cruelly as she wishes with no repercussions.

Her quest to ruin this man continued long past the day he packed his bags and left. There was no financial disclosure. No fair equalization of assets. No legal counsel. Just one power hungry woman's kitchen table agreement he was forced sign for fear of losing his children. At this stage I will introduce the children. Two innocent victims caught in her web, like pawns to draw in and quench the never ending thirst for money. My partner loves his children (ages 6.5 and 8). He is a warm and playful man and is very active and involved in their lives. He teaches Sunday school and is not only a fine upstanding citizen but a Canadian veteran who served his time in the military.

Life continued for a while, her dictating, demanding, and denying anything she fancied. The kids suffered. He suffered. We all suffered. Wanting to put an end to the poorly written agreement and get one that protected his kids and himself he requested mediation so they could fix the conflicts and come up with workable solutions for all. DENIED.

He then tried to negotiate on behalf of the kids directly to get a schedule to reflect their best interest. Keep in mind, he was never asking for 50/50 or even 40% he was asking for a week at x mas and long weekends. Just something that everyone could be happy with - a routine. DENIED.

She wanted an additional $300,000 life insurance policy if he wanted to have access to his kids. Understandably concerned by this he said no.

He sought legal help. She threatened him with FRO to garnish his wages and retaliation began. I must note here he has always paid his high full table child support and additional section 7 for which he was never given a receipt. His decline into debt began the day he separated. And yes I fully, agree with you thinking "he should have gone to a lawyer earlier, but he wanted to believe that by some miracle they could be civil. Sadly, he was wrong.

Life became for all of us a constant barrage of emails, texts, threats, accusations, and stress. Everything suffered, most considerably the children. Parent alienation and games of cruelty were played on these two innocents who now suffer from emotional and behavioural problems. She refuses to let them see a child counsellor.

He asked asked for Parent Coordination - Denied!

He has asked for Arbitration - Denied!

He has asked for Parenting Classes post divorce - Denied!

Finally we end up in Case Conference as she decided that now she wanted SOLE custody and further limitations of access plus of course... MORE $$$. Case conference was like being hit with a dirty bomb.

She refused to complete her financial disclosure - ZERO repercussions.

She refused to submit up to date ROE or last pay stub of one of her 2 jobs. - ZERO repercussions

I can imagine if roles were reversed it wouldn't be too pretty a scene for my partner.

And then came the rulings that felt like they were coming down from monkey court. Full table on income plus a grossed up military pension (from before they were married) plus 70% of a daycare cost (with no receipts, no verification of costs, and no proof stating this needed to be payed regardless of whether or not the kids are there) equalling a grand total of $2100 per month. My partner is not a rich man. He is in the highest tax bracket for his income for his union job that has him traveling long distances to contracts (very high transportation costs) and we live in a average semi detached home. He has no other assets and has a substantial debt from the end of his marriage and continual legal fees. This judgement alone has her receiving almost half of his take home pay leaving him unable to provide sufficiently for himself.


I am curious how anyone is supposed to live on that? He literally can no longer afford to go to work. As he can not afford to pay for diesel for his car. Talk about a catch 22. My partner is now forced to look for work locally which will be a cut in pay and then how is he still supposed to honour all his obligations? If he sells the house to take care of the debts as he can no longer afford the debt payments, then where does he live? In a higher rent situation? He needs to be able to provide a home for his children or he will no longer get access. I will add, that since he is under the magic 40% cut off for adjustment in Child support he has to pay twice for everything because after he pays her to take care of the kids needs at her house, he has to provide them with a wardrobe full of clothes, bicycles, activities and food here. She certainly doesn't provide anything in this home for them.

Now lets take a look at her life style. She lives in the large 3 bedroom marital home in a well off area worth between $100,000 and $200,000 more than his. Has 2 jobs, one possibly paid under the table as she is involved now with the boss. Plus has untouched, undisclosed RRSP’s of upwards of $50,000 in low estimation. Takes 5 holidays a year and enjoys a past times of down hill skiing, flying lessons, and Golf.

Standard of livings couldn't be further from a mid point or equalized living.

Now before you say to me he should file for Undue Hardship - Let me tell you the word is he wouldn't have slivers chance of proving this and this would require close to another $100,000 in legal fees. We sadly don't have a money tree in our back garden.


We now are stuck on the conveyor belt that is the beast that is family court and it is slowly eating us alive. We wait as we pay out more money for a private Custody and Access assessment. The kids desperate for more equality in access to their parents and less torture of manipulation. My partner desperate to retain his rights as a father, for which there is no just cost to strip him of. I have spent countless nights documenting his story, researching and learning the laws, talking to other dads caught in the system. The more I learn, the more shocked and ashamed I get. Canada should know better. This is an issue with long reaching consequences.

How is financially ruining our hardworking honest men helping this fine nation?
How is emotional abusing children who are far more likely to become delinquents, addicts, etc that tax community resources as opposed to contributing to society at large helping build our country?



I am begging you please to put these issues on to a TOP PRIORITY pile. The Guidelines need to be scrapped or at the very least reflective of actual net income or proportionate to amount of access time. The onus as well as expense of claims for Sole Custody should fall on the person bringing forth the claim. Why should one pay in attempts to defend what is rightfully theirs - the right to be a parent? The Family Laws need a overhaul because this isn't a family issue any more this is a community and Country issue that not one tax payor will be free from the rippling effects.

Thank you very much for your time,




Note: While I may not be a constituent in your region, I am a citizen of this country and as already mentioned I believe these issues to be of Federal concern. I speak on behalf of all the silent fathers who have been forced in to bankruptcy, made homeless, had their freedoms of owning a license, done jail time, lost access to their children, and even committed suicide across ALL of Canada.

I also speak for the thousand of Children that have been programed with disorders through PAS, now struggling with emotional and behavioural dysfunctions, and suffer abuse at the hands of Family Law that currently reside in your community.

I wish for you to seriously consider the ramifications for the country should these unconstitutional practices be allowed to continue unaddressed.
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