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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 07-26-2006, 04:09 PM
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BTW, the people, IMO, who are oppossed are those getting custody, having the majority access and receiving the bucks. If I was one of those folks, I probably wouldn't want the boat rocked either.
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Old 07-26-2006, 06:05 PM
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The only way to get reforms to the laws is to start petitioning your local mp's and mpp's requesting same.

As DD mentioned, most people don't really care until it happens to them.

Michigan has shared parenting by default and the divorce rate actually went down. Could be a coincidence.

lv
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Old 07-26-2006, 07:28 PM
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What I found interesting is that the majority opposed to the law are professionals in the legal system-lawyers etc.
Does there seem to be a correlation here? Not as much paperwork, adjournments, case conferences, constant back and forth motions, lengthy discoveries(interrogations, as I affectionately call them), dragging of ex back to court for some non-existent emergency etc. etc etc. There wouldn't be as much money sucked from the parties to the point of declaring bankrupcy, losing houses, borrowing Cash that takes a lifetime to pay back. Of course they oppose it!!!!!!!!!! NO offense meant towards you Jeff
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Old 07-27-2006, 11:00 AM
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I am currently contacting several MP's and MPP's (and media, etc) over the CTB and UDCB. I have been slowly working with specific people.

After my trial this fall, I will go full out for legislative reform. Yes, it has been attempted before. But, hey at least can say I tried. But this current state of affairs is complete madness.

I agree that there are a large number of (family) lawyers opposed to this (based on my own dealings with them). Family law is a growth industry. I do know that there are lawyers fed up and have quit family law, or refused to enter it at all.

I find it completely disheartening that when a family law story breaks, there is only a surface treatment done by the media (i.e. no digging into the hows and whys) and the only person interviewed is a lawyer who states everything is "fine".
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Old 07-29-2006, 09:14 AM
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Decent Dad. I'm glad to hear that you are going full force with reforming the Family Law system. I also strongly believe that Shared Parenting should be by default. I know that the divorce rate would fall considerably if this happened.
Many wifes and husbands would think twice about walking out of a marriage. They say we must look after the best interest of the children. Well hello I'm also my kids parent, I was there when they were born, there for the first birthday, there changing their diapers etc, Now why can't I see them 50% of the time. It just makes know sense.
I do agree with what has been said in this post, if shared parenting was by default, the litigation factor would be reduced therefore, lawyers wouldn't be taking home as much. (sorry Jeff). My kids would see it and mayve get a better education with that extra cas.
Decent Dad, I spend alot of time reachering divorce reform, I would be glad to join you in trying to have our political leaders listen to our concerns. Please feel free to call me anytime if I can assist you.

Thanks
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Old 07-29-2006, 10:02 PM
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Even by default if shared parenting was law in Ontario, there is plenty of other issues to litigate. Most litigation is over money, support, net equalization, unjust enrichment etc. Some, spend thousands or a child's potential education fund litigating over trivial items. This doesn't make any sense at all. ie spend 10K litigating 5K. Usually when this occurs, people's egos are getting in the way. Its not about the money its about winning the case, hurting the other and proving a point.

lv
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Old 07-30-2006, 01:44 AM
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yes, people litigate silly financial situations until they're they're blue in the face but once they're done with those issues it's done(usually). I would say the reason for most people returning to court is relevant to the child(ren).--Support, material change i.e vary custody is their hope, 'he said this in front of children'; my ex is not giving me access' ...and the list goes on.
If joint custody is mandatory, the parents will have to be responsible and try to communicate with each other; if one parent wants to continue litigation about a material item, the majority has already been settled in the beginnib so It can be too monsterous to deal with, or a better choice give it to them. The huge issues were already dealt so chicken-feed nonsense is not worth the weight in money(no-pun intended)
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Old 07-31-2006, 02:22 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by logicalvelocity
Even by default if shared parenting was law in Ontario, there is plenty of other issues to litigate. Most litigation is over money, support, net equalization, unjust enrichment etc. Some, spend thousands or a child's potential education fund litigating over trivial items. This doesn't make any sense at all. ie spend 10K litigating 5K. Usually when this occurs, people's egos are getting in the way. Its not about the money its about winning the case, hurting the other and proving a point.

lv
LV,

Good points. To me, reform is not only for and about the children... but money issues as well. Right now there is a direct cause and effect for demanding sole-custody... full child support. Once you receive child support, the tax implications are huge... and so on. As well, there are currently no b/w rules for spousal support. A "winner-take-all" approach.

The current laws in Canada are a framework for litigation. And the more pissed off you are at the other parent... the more tools are available to extract your revenge. It boggles my mind.
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Old 07-31-2006, 02:30 PM
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It just completely boggles my mind..as a society we are saying. "You are parents under one roof.. but not parents under separate roofs" Get a divorce, and depending on your situation, your finances and your energy levels... you be included in 0% to 100% of your children's lives. *shakes head*

In my own little case study world... I have encountered many parents with joint custody, 50-50 and almost no support! All without lawyers or very little legal assistance. Or some went default offset CS amounts. Yet in a cubicle away (including me) you have people blowing $10K's just fighting for some access, some custody and having huge support awards made against them. Which group and which children will be better off? Now, opponents will immediately chime in and say... "Hey in a contentious divorce.. there could be no way joint custody and access will work". Okay... who is the first to give up their time and their rights of involvement? Most likely not the person sticking their feet in the mud.
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Old 08-08-2006, 08:47 AM
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I've said it before and I will say it again: while shared parenting is a noble aspiration and certainly something we should promote and support as a concept, the fact of the matter is that as a public policy issue, shared parenting is a fart in the breeze to the government of Canada. As much as I like the idea of shared parenting as a child's right, the simple fact is that a significant number of divorced parents are complete idiots when it comes to guaranteeing that child's right.

We talk a good talk in Canada about "the best interests of the children", but the reality is that it's simply talk. It looks good to say "don't do this in front of the kids" but it's another thing entirely to practically apply that skill and frankly, in my experience, most divorced parents aren't prepared to separate their differences with a former spouse from their child's right to be raised by both mom and dad.

We can talk about feminist organizations and their wholesale opposition to shared parenting until the cows come home. The reality is that a change in behaviors has to occur at the parent level - regardless of what the law might be on a given day. Right now, it simply doesn't happen. We can point the finger of blame at the law for promoting adversarialism, at lawyers for applying adversarial tactics and judges for not giving each parent what they believe is their right until we are blue in the face: it starts with the parent - it has to.

From the government's perspective, this is a non-issue: shared parenting is "negative integer moot" as something that any government in Canada is going to address. Yes the laws are unfair, but parents are unfortunately more unfair in their dealings with each other for reasons known only to them. Very simply, it's easier to hate your ex-spouse and stick with the court order than it is to attend family mediation on a regular basis, participate in divorce education, separate your crap with your ex from the child's right to grow up with two parents who can stand being in the same room with each other.
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