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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 02-21-2014, 10:14 AM
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Maybe the next time you randomly decide to put ODF on your website you will get the permission of the owner? The reference to ODF gives people the impression that ODF supports your position.

I must have really hit a nerve with you. Your implosive reaction is really quite telling.

I don't think I'm attacking you personally, nor have made false allegations, nor have I slandered you. Now you are accusing me of stalking? How/why on earth would you come to that conclusion?

When you post on a public forum you open yourself up to criticism. Not everyone is going to agree with what you post. I disagree with much of your post. So get over it.

Listing ODF under Members of Parliament is a pathetic attempt to lend credibility to a not-so-credible opinion piece, in my opinion. I admire your moxy for posting your beliefs but would advise that in the future you take more care in "name dropping" and referencing statistics. If you tidied up your article with references it would be taken more seriously.
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Old 02-21-2014, 10:27 AM
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Karmaseeker - You are distancing yourself from your original post. I personally would like more articulated thoughts and opinions on your letter to Trudeau from others. I couldn't care less about the personal attacks and who's nerve hit who's. We need to augment conversations and do less personal banter if we want to make progress with a political issue.
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Old 02-21-2014, 10:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serene View Post
Karmaseeker - You are distancing yourself from your original post. I personally would like more articulated thoughts and opinions on your letter to Trudeau from others. I couldn't care less about the personal attacks and who's nerve hit who's. We need to augment conversations and do less personal banter if we want to make progress with a political issue.

Thank you Serene! I really appreciate a voice of clarity and reason.
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Old 02-21-2014, 10:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by karmaseeker View Post
ps. And the you spelt something wrong argument? Really???
Blame fast typing or auto-correct. Hardly discounts my opinion.
Actually, that's wrong. Using proper grammar and spelling makes your message easier to understand and be taken seriously. A message containing such errors is difficult to figure out and more likely to be dismissed. The quality of an argument is judged partly by the professionalism of its delivery. If someone, especially in a situation that is supposed to be professional, is careless with spelling and grammar, many people don't pay attention to the rest of the ad or letter, assuming that the content is as poor as its appearance.

If you haven't sent it yet, I'd be happy to edit it for you. There were definitely a few places where I stumbled.

Here, please note that I am not judging the content of your message one way or another, just its polish.
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Old 02-21-2014, 10:57 AM
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Something to consider:

- Employee disputes are often handled by arbitration. This process can take just as long as family court.
- Legal aid is not the only resource for people going to court. In some provinces the use of Paralegals is encouraged for self-represented.
- Too often self-employed individuals claim unreasonable business expenses and show net income as a loss (very easy to 'write off' your income). Not everyone is an employee. Line 150 for a self-employed individual often comes in at less than minimum wage. Therefore, using a "net income" basis for determining support would not accurately reflect true income.
- ChildView or Divorcemate (commonly-used software in Canada to determine SS) have calculation tables for both with and without children.
- Second families have recognition within their own respective family court cases. Second families are not named in family court cases. The two parties who are going through the divorce, and sometime the children of the marriage, are named. To change this you would have to allow for multiple changes of marriages and additions of many children as there is no law limiting someone from repeatedly marrying, having children and divorcing . This is simply not logical.

The last part of your letter is, in my opinion, simply not worth replying to. It is nothing more than a rant.

Last edited by arabian; 02-21-2014 at 11:02 AM.
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Old 02-21-2014, 11:31 AM
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Wow! In all the mud slinging, accusations of gendar biased, choosing the wrong partner, being bitter etc etc are we not forgetting what I think the original poster was trying to say? The system is screwed for everyone. Male, female, child, rich or poor.

When this family law system became part of our lives I had no idea how a big percentage the country were dealing with the aftermath of a failed relationships involving children. I must have been living in a cotton ball! I thought we were doing okay. Had an agreement we could live with after 3 months of lawyers back and forth. Only cost us $12 k. Time to move on? I wish, then the problems start and why? Because we have a flawed system which IMO (and it might not be anything like your opinion and thats okay) comes from the system being in distress because:

A. Provincial support systems that are under funded, totally overwhelmed by the volume of " broken families" all seeking justice and manned by staff who are probably underpaid, under qualified and over stretched in the volume of work thrown at them.
B. A law system which is developed under a common law process. Using previous case law as a basis for decisions. Previous case law often made by Judges who do not understand how the ordinary family functions or survives. They are Gods in their own domain.
C. A world changing so fast our value systems cannot keep up. Divorce was not a norm, nor common law relationships resulting in children when our family support and family law legal systems were put in place. These systems are years behind.
D. Communication channels that are so fast we send emails, texts etc before we have time to calm down and think clearly.
E. Our population is more educated than ever, more affluent that ever yet so many of us make foolish decisions and are overwhelmed financially.

After everyone calms down and stops taking things so personally perhaps we could look at the big picture and discuss how it can be changed.

Personally, I donot think any polictican is going to be able to change much. I think change needs to come from within. Forums such as this certainly help. They provide some reality checks, some sage advice and show both sides of the story.

I do not know how to fix this mess. I always think about the Raging Grannies who sat outside the nuclear first response stations in England to effect change. I am a " Granny". Maybe I need to start raging over the mess our society is in and the effect it will have on our children in future years. Maybe its time to stage a protest. But first we need to stop fighting and come together towards a common goal. Fix the system.
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Old 02-21-2014, 11:32 AM
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I think the main problem is the 60/40.

It's a goal and a target for many that has EVERYTHING to do with money NOT the best interest of the children.

It creates conflict and something to FIGHT for.

Get rid of this and 75% of the problems disappear IMO.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 02-21-2014, 11:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Serene View Post
Karmaseeker - You are distancing yourself from your original post. I personally would like more articulated thoughts and opinions on your letter to Trudeau from others. I couldn't care less about the personal attacks and who's nerve hit who's. We need to augment conversations and do less personal banter if we want to make progress with a political issue.
I take references to Malicious Mothers as personal as men take references to deadbeat dads.

The language is argumentative, inflammatory and alienting. You can't affect change by appealing to the MINORITY. There are men that would agree with this position as well - not just the malicious mothers.

Remove gender and see what's left. Pretty much nothing.

The whole thing is based onone person's personal experience, my personal experience is very different than the one presented. All this letter makes me want to do is write one of my own to present a very different side with very different issues - which aren't gender related, but rather bad parent related.

I think the system needs to change, but continuing to genderize the issues is not going to work, especially if you believe that the system is the way it is because of gender issues. You're replacing one problem with another.
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Old 02-21-2014, 11:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FB_ View Post
I think the main problem is the 60/40.

It's a goal and a target for many that has EVERYTHING to do with money NOT the best interest of the children.

It creates conflict and something to FIGHT for.

Get rid of this and 75% of the problems disappear IMO.
I agree 100%.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 02-21-2014, 11:44 AM
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Default My letter to Justin Trudeau

Absolutely FB. It by it's very nature causes animosity. If you don't get 40 you pay through the nose and payers fight for the money. And if you are cheap and a payor you might fight for the percentage to save money rather than is what may be what works best. Both ways it creates a situation where kids are pawns that represent dollars. Children should not be seen as a golden ticket or a coupon from either side.

If percentage of time has nothing to do with child support the playing field would look much different. People would be more likely to base access on what is best for everyone especially the children.

Great points beachnana! Rage away granny!! We need everyone to draw attention to the problems so they can be addressed by our political leaders. They are the only ones that have the power to amend laws.


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Last edited by karmaseeker; 02-21-2014 at 11:52 AM.
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