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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Political Issues

Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 02-21-2014, 09:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by karmaseeker View Post
What would you like me to cite? The family Guidelines? Or the countless statistics of children's issues that come from acrimonious split family homes? Or the psychological truth about Parent Alienation? "Malicious Mother syndrome" is as real as "Dead beat dad" which people fling about as a cultural norm.

You may not choose to agree with me and that is your prerogative but until you have walked a mile in my shoes you have little knowledge of the devastation a vindictive woman can do in a court if she so chooses. And I would hazard a guess that many payors (men or women) would agree the guidelines are unjust.

And as for Mr. Trudeau, he is a political leader platforming on the issue of debt and the middle class so to argue that his personal upbringing makes him unqualified for the job is just ignorant. Do I trust he is going to do something? No. But hell if I'm not going to use a politicians posturing for votes as an opportunity to address my concerns.

And btw, I am a woman! But by your reasoning that would make me unqualified to understand the plight of a father.
It sounds like you were married to a loser, so of course you didn't fight, there was nothing to fight for.
Now you are with a partner who is being dragged through the courts because he is probably like the rest of the herd who wants to give nothing to his x, well too bad for number 2 wife or partner, you do not have the same rights as numero UNO. I have heard it time and time again, number 2 resenting the money number one gets..... That's life, he made his choice to death do us part, it never states do death do us part while married.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 02-21-2014, 09:38 AM
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Karmaseeker: Your letter was well written and I commend you for articulating your opinion as you did. I also commend you for doing so with hopes to assist so many that are affected by these laws. We need more people like you.

To everyone else: Opinions are free, as is this forum. We would do ourselves and each other a service if we were to critically analyse letters/posts as these as opposed to picking it apart for entertainment or to find flaw in the person behind it.

We also need to distinguish how gender plays a part in things, which also include families, family law, public policy, finance, etc. A gender bias is different than gendered statistics. And while the law is "gender bias free" the practicing of law is clearly not. This is not subjective, rather this is absolute. Perhaps Karmaseeker could have teased this out and articulated it more clearly in her letter to Trudeau but I did get the message that she was trying to convey regardless.

From a feminist perspective I believe that the family law system is flawed. More specifically it pits the female mother against the male father from the outset, as it is predominantly the mother's who have taken the professional career hit by virtue of having the children. If mom stays at home for any length of time to care for children after birth, it widens the gap professionally and further contributes to the war of custody, access and support.

Did you also know that many employers subconsciously or consciously view a working woman of child bearing years "as pregnant" given they COULD get pregnant? This view in turn negatively impacts their career as often they are discounted professionally, which helps to explain the glass ceiling/staircase that so many women face?

I don't pretend to know the right answers but there are issues that are deeply engrained by gender within the court system, family law and public policy. As an academic I have studied these and done considerable academic (peer reviewed) articles. I am also the author of peer reviewed articles that lend to Karmaseeker's original post.

Kudos to you Karmaseeker! I think your letter was well done!
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Old 02-21-2014, 09:38 AM
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momforever1956 - save your breath. ODF is listed as a "contact" for this same letter under the facebook link:

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Occup...42317435849654

I have brought this to the attention of the owner of this forum (in the event he didn't already know about it).
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Old 02-21-2014, 09:42 AM
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What is the issue with the facebook link? And who is ODF?
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Old 02-21-2014, 09:44 AM
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Wow you women are nasty. And your personal attacks on me are only proving that maliciousness is a characteristic of bitter ex wives.

1. My ex is not a loser. He is a fantastic man and we jointly raise a fantastic child. I'm not a bitter ex.

2. My partners wife cheated on him for a year and a half who ultimately ran off with her lover that then dumped her ass.

3. My partner has fought tooth and nail to keep access to his children because she uses them like pawns.

4. My partner gave her the house, a lump sum spousal settlement, pays cs and never missed a payment, pays majority of day care, extra health expenses, has paid for a skiing allowance even when he lost his job.

So spare me all your presumptions. As you clearly don't have a clue what you are talking about.

If someone wants to logically debate the issues I addressed in a manor that is dignified, logical, and focused feel free to chime in.

Any more personal attacks will not be responded to.
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Old 02-21-2014, 09:48 AM
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Ottawa Divorce Forum - ODF is listed under "contact" for the article on Facebook. If this forum is a "men's rights" forum then I'll have to consider whether I want to post on this forum anymore. I found the letter offensive and it would be equally offensive to me if I were to learn this forum supports same.
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Old 02-21-2014, 10:01 AM
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Arabian, Occupy is MY facebook page! Not OTtawa Divorce.com - but yet again you made a totally random accusation right out of thin air.

Are you out trolling on father's right pages? That is very questionable behaviour!!!!

And yes I provide a link to Ottawa Divorce.com to HELP fathers and step mothers alike that have to deal with malicious mothers as well as links to the parliament emial listings both provincially and federally.

You have every right to feel how ever you want to feel. You also have every right to not agree, not like, or even despise my theories but personal attacks, false allegations, slander, and stalking are crossing a major line!!!
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 02-21-2014, 10:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by karmaseeker View Post
Why does society genderize the issue with garbage about dead beat dads?

If a man is a "dead beat" regardless of truth or circumstance society goes tsk tsk. If a women abuses that courts to seek revenge through financially ruining her ex... society goes ... that's garbage?

Can't have it both ways!!

If you can not open you mind to the possibility that not all women are wonderful and that not all men are not, you would focus on the actually issues regarding the Federal Guidelines and how they devastate families instead of focusing on my wording. But, I imagine the real reason you don't like what I am saying is because you want $ and I am purposing ways to reduce and actually equalize households.

Statistically the majority of payors are men so the issue is already genderized. Otherwise there would be just as many men awarded with sole custody, or even given equal custody but there simply are not. Therefore, statistics prove a gender bias and gender does indeed play a large role in family court and to deny it is to simply deny numbers.

I as a women would never dream of dragging my ex through court to ruin his life or try to screw him financially and because of that we have a well adjusted child. But most women that I have seen are not me and that certainly holds true for what I have witnessed first hand.

5 years my partner has been dragged through family court. For what? Money and absolute power. If that is not malicious I don't know what is.

I don't genderize the issue with "deadbeat dad". In my personal case, my daughter has two parents, mom and dad - one of them is a deadbeat - it just happens to be dad.

My question was a serious one. You think the best way to handle the conflict is by throwing the stones back. It doesn't make sense.

Either gender doesn't matter or it does. It's your letter, pick one.
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Old 02-21-2014, 10:07 AM
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''Did you know that many middle class families have no access to legal representation because they “make too much” to qualify for legal aid but in reality don’t make any where near enough for Lawyers’ fees.''

I agree with you on this point - every Canadian should have access to free legal representation. The high percentage of unprepared self-reps adds to the ever increasing delays in our Courtrooms. The rest of your 'exposé' sadly defeats it's purpose - it comes off as a personal rant and does more harm than good IMO.
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Old 02-21-2014, 10:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by karmaseeker View Post
Arabian, Occupy is MY facebook page! Not OTtawa Divorce.com - but yet again you made a totally random accusation right out of thin air.

Are you out trolling on father's right pages? That is very questionable behaviour!!!!

And yes I provide a link to Ottawa Divorce.com to HELP fathers and step mothers alike that have to deal with malicious mothers as well as links to the parliament emial listings both provincially and federally.

You have every right to feel how ever you want to feel. You also have every right to not agree, not like, or even despise my theories but personal attacks, false allegations, slander, and stalking are crossing a major line!!!

You've slandered half the population with your generalized statements based on the experience of one person in a country of how many million??
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