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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 11-23-2011, 07:29 PM
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He can't be blamed for what advice he was given. I understand your first post was about the groups but this has quickly turned into what he has done wrong. He sought advice and was given advice, maybe misguided, but if he had no idea the advice he was getting was misguided he had no choice but to beleive it. Happens all the time with laywers.

Keep your head up and you will get through it, but as much as your "not here to make his life easier" it will also make your life easier to talk to him and deal with things between the two of you.
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Old 11-23-2011, 07:48 PM
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Well I can't talk when he holding a tape recorder up, and recording phone conversations. I wonder who gave him advice to do that. Like I said, lots of damage has been done, and he still wont quit after losing the court case. He really thought the judge would give him full custody, taking her away from her siblings, school across the street, and a 4 bedroom house, and move 2 hours away into a half basement at his brothers, and he knew our daughter didn't want to move. Because of this the courts are bias against men. Councelling is definitely needed that's forsure.
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Old 11-23-2011, 08:01 PM
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...................

Last edited by tugofwar; 11-23-2011 at 08:16 PM.
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Old 11-23-2011, 08:04 PM
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If you take a look at this group you will be surprised how many people are urged to tape record when they talk to their ex. If you are being civil and reasonable why would you care that he is taping the conversations? Who knows, it could end up helping you in the end if he shows it to the court and he is the one being unreasonable.

Like I said you need to be reasonable and things are not going to get easier for you until you guys are able to get over yourselves and focus on the kids. By stating your not here to make his life easier just tells me you are willing to fight and make his life difficult, which is not going to help your child.
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Old 11-23-2011, 08:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mts1973 View Post
Well I can't talk when he holding a tape recorder up, and recording phone conversations. I wonder who gave him advice to do that. .
You hopefully aren't saying anything that couldn't be recorded and used later.. There really isn't anything I've said to the dd's father that I wouldn't mind recorded. (ok, there was this one instance 10 years ago (in 16 years separated) when, after 6 months of growing out her bangs, clipping them back every morning, talking about new hair styles, etc., he brought her home Sunday night, fresh haircut, new bangs, and I blew. lol. then my language was a little rough).

But day to day, you have to be working towards parenting your children together with your ex. Who cares if he carries around a recorder.

We all need some support, (hence the reason for THIS website), and sometimes the crazies are drawn out. Move forward, ignore the crazy and keep working towards a parenting plan that benefits your children.
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Old 11-23-2011, 08:24 PM
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I did say fine to him when he was recording the conversation. Funny the next day he called childrens aid on me, saying I was screaming at him infront of our child, and withholding access. I said to them, he had a recorder, and they should listen, also our daughter wasn't even present during the conversation. So it backfired on him. What's being reasonable to him is changing plans at his convenience.
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Old 11-23-2011, 08:34 PM
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Parenting plan? He wants the fun time, and I do all the running around. Which I don't care, but I did say earlier how there was a dentist appointment booked (like it was booked 1 year in advance) and it was on his access day. Boy did I hear every accusation in the book. This happened years ago, so now I am careful when I book appointments. I don't want to upset the poor ex hubby again. One less accusation to listen to.
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Old 11-23-2011, 09:06 PM
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I need to add this as well, I certainly do my best to remain civil, and supportive, for our daughters sake. Its so hard when I know he is doing his caniving, especially to our little one. She was upset because she didn't want to go to the doctors for her yearly check up. She turned to her dad saying she doesnt like that doctor. He tried to manipulte her emotion, saying to go live with him. Later I read in his court papers, saying he feels she should have a woman doctor, because she doesnt like our family doctor, because he is a perv. He also kept quiet of certain things, just because she doesnt want to see a doctor. How can I Co parent like this? I have informed him when the kids were sick, and when she was upset about things. But he would start to battle.
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Old 11-24-2011, 12:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mts1973 View Post
Parenting plan? He wants the fun time, and I do all the running around. Which I don't care, but I did say earlier how there was a dentist appointment booked (like it was booked 1 year in advance) and it was on his access day. Boy did I hear every accusation in the book. This happened years ago, so now I am careful when I book appointments. I don't want to upset the poor ex hubby again. One less accusation to listen to.
Yes you've now mentioned this dentist thing twice. I am not buying what you're selling one bit. Dentist appt can be changed and booked whenever. The fact is you seem to control that. He appears, though you've alluded my earlier question on his access with the children but it appears to be limited. So keeping that in mind if his one day that he gets through the week, you book the appt then I wouldn't be very happy as well. If you need to book Dentist appts one year ahead, or they're that hard to book at anytime, other than surgery maybe....maybe! Then you should get another dentist. If you take his concerns or dismiss over an issue such as this so easily then I would bet things are much deeper than you let on.

I would have no problems with my ex recording...as another poster said, don't say anything or act in away that makes you worry about this. Another sign that you're not the mother Teresa that you're trying to leed us in believing.

I am not saving that this guy is an angel but my guess is that you're not exactly above barr either. If you truly want to make things work parents then you both have to work at it...and as much as you may hate to hear it, you'll have to listen and address his concerns. The crap about the dentist is that...just crap on your part, in my humble opinion.
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Old 11-24-2011, 01:10 AM
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Yeah...like I said I was perfect in any of this, i took responsibilty for my actions already, and now repairing and moving on. And I apologize, I didn't realize I was trying to sell you anything. Also for the dentist appointment, they usually call a couple days before the appointment day, and plus that certain dentist appointment was made while we were still
together, and there were no talks of access days, and like I said, after that I made sure I was careful. Just so that daddy makes sure he has fun fun fun. Yes and I have listened to his concerns, and he is still finger pointing. I shouldn't really need to hear it anymore.
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