Locating ones address

[Duped]

How awful it must be to have to change your name and all to hide from an abuser. I can't even imagine how bad that really is and what you all are going through. Sick is the only thought I can put to this. With all the wonders of modern society we still have to protect ourselves from the thugs out there.

My best to all of you sufferers who have been victimized and continue to be victimized by ex's and the unjust system.

I am extremely glad to hear of a study being done, not sure if I mentioned this before but I am writing a book about my learning experience in family law, started as therapy and has turned into a passion.

I recently came accross an old university book on child psycology, opened it to a dog eared page and read children will often perform badly at tasks they do not like in the hopes that their poor performace the first time will prevent them from having to repeat the task in the future or something to that effect. I immediatly thought of a family court judge thinking, if I screw this up badly enough perhaps I won't have to do it again.

It is time for drastic changes especially in the areas of children's and victim's rights. Far to much crap has been allowed to go on within the system for far too long.

Best of luck to all and good health

P.S. Welcome back Grace

Duped

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

Originally Posted by Duped

How awful it must be to have to change your name and all to hide from an abuser. I can't even imagine how bad that really is and what you all are going through. Sick is the only thought I can put to this.

Not easy, imagine you’ve done everything to hide, IE the name change etc.
You want to look for a job, what experience do you write on a resume? What references do you use? This new name is not associated to any work experience, not related to an education, and how can u=you use a reference if they’ve never heard of or had that person in their employ?? See where I’m going with this.

Even going back to school to start over, was difficult as then I had to provide secondary and post secondary studies, this person didn’t exist before.

I wouldn’t wish it on my enemies, not even my ex.
It was a huge struggle in and of itself, but I did it, (knock on wood) and I have a new degree and a well paying job an am finally self supported

Talk about a book, my story would be one heck of a thriller!
Best of luck to you on your writing adventure.

[Duped]

FL_Needs_To_Change,

You took adversity and turned it into a rose good for, others should at least be able to see that it can be done as they struggle with their unfortunate situations.

Thanks for sharing, thanks for the kind words, and thanks for the info.

Duped

[Duped]

This should give everyone a good chuckle,

Back when this whole thing started August 12, 2005 I was cutting my own hair with clippers, yup clean off, it was a weekly ritual of face and head. No attachments, just the clippers on my scalp.

Following my first court appearance which was my first taste of just how unfair the system is, I vowed that I would not cut my hair until I personally witnessed evidence of fairness in the family law system.

Yesterday during a spring cleaning stint I came across my clippers, the blades were all rusted up, not even the screws would budge when I tried to take them out.

As I looked up I saw my reflection in the mirror, my hair now down to past my shoulders, never even been trimmed is silky smooth, shinny and naturally curly.

I pulled one hair out and got a 30cm ruler out, uncurled and stretched out strait, the hair is 37cm long.

It has been 21 months since my hair was cut last, 37cm in 21 months, or 21 cm per year.

Everyone tells me to get a hair cut, so I tell them my story, and then they tell me to let it grow.

What you can take from this is that you can measure just how unfair the system is with a little creativity. For me it is 21cm / year unfair. <grin>

Hope you get at least a smile from this.

P.S. I expect that by the time I do personally witness fairness in the family law system, I will be hauling my hair around with me in a trailer.

Best wishes

Duped

[FL_Needs_To_Change]

LOL, hauling your hair around in a wheel barrow!!!
Thanks for the laugh. But so true!!!

Life is never fair, and I say this with conviction. Every fence I have climbed makes me a stronger person. I am positive that I am the person I am today because of the person I was yesterday, last week, last year,....

FL