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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 11-29-2012, 03:39 PM
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Originally Posted by SadAndTired View Post
Why would you ask for opinions and then ask so many questions about their situation?
To gather insight into the situation. The real question is why do people respond don't you think?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SadAndTired View Post
I thought this was about their opinion? I certainly wouldn't answer this if I knew you were going to play trial lawyer and cross examine everyone about each sentence.
There is no requirement to respond on any message posted to this board. In fact, you didn't have to respond to the message thread nor did the other poster. But, alas you did.

Then why are you answering now and providing the following information:

Quote:
Originally Posted by SadAndTired View Post
I am a legal aid client and my stbx is the applicant as well. He also has not made any offers to settle. He went straight to an application and then scheduled his case conference within 4 weeks. Will he offer something at the last second? Possibly but my lawyer has not suggested we offer any sort of settlement either, even when I asked the lawyer about it. You can spout Rules all you want, but that isn't what my lawyer did. I would think he knows the law.
I hope for your sake the lawyer in question does. There are many reasons that a lawyer wouldn't recommend making an offer to settle. The parties are too far apart on the issues as an example. Without having insight into the dispute on the Application in the matter. One can come up with a 1000 reasons.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SadAndTired View Post
I think you have a very vested interested in this topic for whatever reason. Perhaps your time would be better spent on something else.
Thank-you for your feedback. As you are engaged before the court as a Respondent to an Application (lawsuit) concerning custody and access of children wouldn't it be advisable then that you should concentrating on your children's "best interests" and resolving the matter rather than posting to a public message board?

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Originally Posted by SadAndTired View Post
A woman who is truly abused is the only victim of a crime that must defend herself in a court of law and must protect herself, her money, her assets and her children.
Reminding you that the Family Court is a "Civil Court" and not the "Criminal Court". A victim of a "crime" would be before the "criminal court".

Quote:
Originally Posted by SadAndTired View Post
Are there people out there who use the system? Possibly. Should those liars affect the ability of the others to get help? No. The greater good should prevail.
But, what happens when their conduct does impact others who would have qualified but, because of their "use of the system" someone was turned down? Put in a dangerous situation because they couldn't?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SadAndTired View Post
And of course Legal Aid should be able to give out abuse information. I am not and was not in an abusive situation. Providing me with that information does not change my case whatsoever.
The argument counter to your position is that it is clinical information and possibly not to be provided by unregistered and unlicensed professionals who are unqualified to identify the issue. You can disagree.

Glad to see that the information didn't change your position or argument and that no allegations of abuse were required for you to obtain a Legal Aid Ontario Certificate.

With regards to your statement "I am not and was not in an abusive situation." you reported that the children involved in another thread were ordered not to be returned to the other parent due to clinical concerns of "abuse". If my memory serves me correctly, the "clinician" in question didn't call the CAS as required under their governing rules but, instructed you to act on this advice without reporting it to CAS.

For your reference the thread in question:

http://www.ottawadivorce.com/forum/f...itation-13399/

Good Luck!
Tayken

Last edited by Tayken; 11-29-2012 at 03:48 PM.
  #12 (permalink)  
Old 11-29-2012, 04:50 PM
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Honestly Taken?

You said this:

Quote:
Thank-you for your feedback. As you are engaged before the court as a Respondent to an Application (lawsuit) concerning custody and access of children wouldn't it be advisable then that you should concentrating on your children's "best interests" and resolving the matter rather than posting to a public message board?
My life has a variety of interests/needs/focus. If I WASN'T doing my research, then you would fault me for that too. Doing due diligence here and with other resources and learning everything that I can is in my children's best interest. It is your implication that my lawyer is not following a Rule based on his not offering settlement. I would think it would be in my (and my children's) best interest that I am knowledgeable and prepared.

This
Quote:
2. Why are they "your kids" and not the other parent's kids too? ("my kids")
question sounds like splitting hairs on semantics. (Not gathering information.) How is this relevant to what you were originally asking??

Finally, you may be wordy and intelligent but you are absolutely wrong that I said there were "clinical concerns of abuse". I NEVER said he was abusive. YOU are paraphrasing my words inaccurately. Perhaps you could quote me properly.

In fact, what I said was this:

Quote:
My question is, the family doctor says my daughter should not be going to visits with her Dad as it is too stressful. Her Dad is pretty clueless when it comes to emotional issues but in the grand scheme of things, is a decent father.
Exactly how did I claim abuse?? When I said the process of visitation is too much for her current ability to handle stress? Or perhaps when I was saying that he is decent father?

As far as unregistered and unlicensed professionals, there are many, many, many agencies out there that are providing abuse information to the public. Why only attack Legal Aid? Perhaps we shouldn't talk about abuse anymore and hope it will go away.

Sorry, I don't think your motivation is purely from a research perspective or you wouldn't question details that are not relevant to the purpose of your question.
  #13 (permalink)  
Old 11-29-2012, 04:57 PM
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Or perhaps this is when I claimed abuse??

Quote:
I don't know if a call to CAS is needed as he didn't intentionally try to hurt the kids. She was terribly affected by the letter but I don't know if that could be characterized as abuse.
I am sorry Tayken but your responses to people here (especially the new posters) doesn't seem to offer information but is often questioning the validity of their post or attacking the decisions they have made. It isn't helpful, supportive or informative for me. It simply attacks (in my case inaccurately) when someone is reaching out for help and information.
  #14 (permalink)  
Old 11-29-2012, 07:32 PM
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Or perhaps this is when I claimed abuse??



I am sorry Tayken but your responses to people here (especially the new posters) doesn't seem to offer information but is often questioning the validity of their post or attacking the decisions they have made. It isn't helpful, supportive or informative for me. It simply attacks (in my case inaccurately) when someone is reaching out for help and information.
Then you don't have to engage in conflict, read what others write to you which, is more direct and isn't even a supported argument.

What I find interesting is that you continue to respond to my threads... Your time would be spent better on CanLII reading case law in support of your argument that a doctor can make a custody and access decision and not the court...

Maybe if you focused on your children's issues and not trying to attack random internet posters you wouldn't have so many challenges with your family law matter, it would be resolved and settled.

Good Luck!
Tayken
  #15 (permalink)  
Old 11-29-2012, 07:41 PM
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*sigh*

Again, inaccurate portrayal of my original question.

Quote:
What I find interesting is that you continue to respond to my threads... Your time would be spent better on CanLII reading case law in support of your argument that a doctor can make a custody and access decision and not the court..
It wasn't my argument Tayken. I didn't listen to the doctor. I didn't take that or any position. I just wanted to know if the doctor had the right to make that determination or not. Further, I wanted to know if I could have made a wrong legal decision by not adhering to what the doctor said.

I received some very informative responses that helped tremendously. My issues in court have nothing to do with custody/access and everything to do with money.

I don't mind responding to your threads. From the first post, I thought you were truly interested in a person's (who is receiving legal aid) opinion. I seem to be one of the few here who have received it. Sorry I thought my experience would be valuable to your "research". I was also interested in the experience of someone who has gone against an ex with legal aid.

When I saw you begin to question mom2three, I began to wonder why you were asking some seemingly irrelevant questions.

It seems as if you don't like me questioning you and continue to imply I should run off to do something else. Thank you for the advice but I am quite organized and prepared at this point.
  #16 (permalink)  
Old 11-30-2012, 10:51 PM
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I sure wish I knew how to quote! I will try to answer your questions Tayken.

I was amicable with access. When the decision was made for me to leave it was agreed BETWEEN the parties that I would be moving from the town we resided in with our children. This was a personal decision between the both of us I don't need to elaborate on it; had I remained where I was the father would not have been able to share 50/50 access unless he changed his employment which he was unwilling to do.

Yes, I was the respondent.

We hired our separate lawyers to draft an agreement because this was SUPPOSED to be an amicable separation. Wouldn't you know it, we ended up hiring from the same law firm (so much for conflict of interest searches). We met with the lawyers together and hashed out an informal plan so I could move. I continued with THAT laywer and he released his laywer with the intent that my lawyer would draft the agreement and he would then seek independent legal advice when the agreement was in final draft.

I moved, with the ex's blessing, but this put the children and I into a different district. He eventually retained a lawyer who contacted my laywer and demanded she recuse herself from the file due to the conflict issue. Once that had been done we were back to square one.

The ex's lawyer DID NOT EVER make any contact with me. I just got served on that cold and frosty morning. I immediately went to legal aid ( knew it was going to be messy from what was in the application), was approved and was waiting for an appointment with the lawyer. The application was given to the lawyer.

My ex took the children for a weekend. He did not return the children as planned. I was served a 'courtesy copy' of an ex-parte motion that was to be heard that morning several hours away from where I live. So please, please do not tell me about offers MUST be served. Lawyers work around the system all the time. And THAT was the only contact I had ever received from HIS lawyer.

It took a few months of wrangling my way through the court system but yes, I did get the children back into my care. Once they were back in my care the ex fired his lawyer and it took him several months to get another one so we could settle the remaining issues. This has never gone to trial - the custody was determined through motion and the ex opted to not appeal so that interim custody has remained.

And to date we have dealt with my lawyer leaving to find better pastures, a new lawyer getting up to speed on both our parts and essentially at the same point we were at in the beginning. Four years later though and he is unable to buy me out so the case drags on and on and on.

As crazy at it sounds, the ex and I are on amicable terms. We get together frequently for the sake of the kids. We have our moments of disagreement but we agree to disagree. Because we are on such good speaking terms we have had the chance to speak about what happened and I do believe from his conversations that his lawyer was acting unethically. It is the ex's position that his lawyer guaranteed he would get full custody (and this certainly could have gone that way) but he (the lawyer) wasn't seeing the forest for the trees and didn't get the full story - so while I was railroaded at the beginning, the lawyer had a fight on his hands to maintain the staus quo when it went to motion. It was kinda funny to watch in the court room actually.

No, the lawyer has not sought to have the costs paid. It is in the agreement when and IF he can refinance and this is fine with legal aid - they will get paid first! So please don't accuse me of my story adding up.
What I find funny is your position that my lawyer needs to bring this forward costing the courts MORE money, especially when I am on legal aid, when we are TRYING profusely to avoid that.

It really was a family matter that went awry with the involvement of the courts. And yes I did fight for my children. I had to fight - the ex took them away, which was not what we had AGREED on. Do not tell me my story does not add up. And yes, the father is their Dad and they love him very much and spends a lot of time with them which I actively encourage. My children are my life. I do believe that even when we were together I would say 'my kids'.
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