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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 03-21-2006, 05:44 PM
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DecentDad,

Google "Battered Wive Syndrome" and "Battered Husband Syndrome." The lack of battered husband support groups does not prove that there are no battered husbands.

Lindsay
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Old 03-30-2006, 12:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Decent Dad
Google "Fathers Custody Rights" and "Mother Custody Rights".
But just be careful which sites you read from - they aren't all accurate!
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Old 03-30-2006, 05:34 PM
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I have a very difficult time agreeing with you Lindsay.

Does anyone remember the distribution of men and women of the advisory group for the recently published Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines document?

Anyone?

Here's a hint: it was 4 to 8. Respectively.

I think that there are countless examples of bias. I would be please to see examples of fairness.
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Old 03-31-2006, 01:59 PM
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I basically go on:

1) stastical facts
2) expereicne from others (100+)
3) personal experience
4) case law
5) the laws in general
6) general public outcry (websites, books, etc)

What are you basing your opinion on?
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Old 03-31-2006, 08:45 PM
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Wow, so this is true? I would think that if it ever got that bad, the person would take the time to reflect and find out what he really wants to do with his life. It's so hard to understand how someone could feel so bad that they wouldn't even want to try.
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Old 04-01-2006, 08:06 AM
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Zeppgirl,

As many have stated, it is a horrible situation and complicated. But I am here to tell you, after talking with many, many fathers, it does not surprise me. That man did try. And you try and try and try and try and try. Until you just had it. It is byond emotionally and fincnailly devastating to go through the courts as a man. Yup, I am completely biased. And I know I get flammed for it on this group. When a mother says "Yup, I agreed to joint custody and 50-50 with no strings attached", I'll be the first in line to shake her hand and buy her a round of drinks.
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Old 04-01-2006, 10:19 PM
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I know of many couples that although going through a separation have managed to be both fair & amicable and put the children ahead of themselves. One friend of mine actually has the children living in the matrimonial home with the parents taking turns moving in and out on alternative weeks, and sharing all expenses. I think it is a brilliant idea.

I think its the more acrimonious ones that are posting and venting on these forums. Myself included.

Jeff or Lindsay, if you read this post, what percentage of your files would you think fall under "acrimonious".
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Old 04-04-2006, 09:14 PM
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Although there are definitly Dads getting royally screwed in the courts, there are many women getting screwed over by ex's and the courts as well. One isn't more right or wrong or justified..it all sucks.

And frankly you won't find a whole bunch of happily seperated people support groups or groups for divorced couples who are making co parenting work because they simply aren't complaining... they are happy! Its working for them and thats great. They aren't making a lot of noise because not many people stand up and say Dammit I'm happy and I want everyone to know about it!..lol


It is very sad that this man decided to end his life..but it was his choice to pick a very permanent solution to a temporary problem. Whats really sad about it is that his kids will never ever have the chance to know their father..there is always hope as long as you believe there is.
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Old 04-07-2006, 03:20 PM
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The problem is the "winner take all" system. Well, that is one of several problems with THE SYSTEM. Once you get the kids, you get everything: child support, spousal support, tax break upon tax break, the house, and so on. So THE SYSTEM, designed to protect the kids, puts them in the worst place possible: The Prize.

And once you really get into it, you find that all these laws are a bunch of disjointed, half-thought out guidelines. No wonder Family Law is a growing business. It is not that more people are divorcing... there are no laws.
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Old 04-07-2006, 03:34 PM
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[QUOTE=Grace]I know of many couples that although going through a separation have managed to be both fair & amicable and put the children ahead of themselves. One friend of mine actually has the children living in the matrimonial home with the parents taking turns moving in and out on alternative weeks, and sharing all expenses. I think it is a brilliant idea.
I think its the more acrimonious ones that are posting and venting on these forums. Myself included.
QUOTE]

Grace,

I agree completely. After becoming a marriage statistic, I was so unaware of THE SYSTEM. Most divorce couples I talked to were 50-50, joint custody, no court, no legal and no support. And the women I talked to stated that "Why shouldn't the other parent (dad) be involved. They are his children too" And then I inquired about support. And every woman stated "Why should I get a hand out. I work hard. I have a career. Also, my ex (the dad) needs money and a home to take care of the children. " And then I entered into my own divorce hell. In the end I think it did a bit of a disservice to me by being around people that worked it out fairly. It brought my guard down.

Now for people that are divorcing (both men and women) I will tell them exactly the years of court, legal BS, costs and the exhaustion that awaits them if they do not behave. Revenge, punishment and the cash reward is far too easy.
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