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  Ottawa Divorce .com Forums > Main Category > Political Issues

Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 02-04-2016, 06:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mcdreamy View Post
All upper level management?

Or, at minimum, equal pay?
I don't know the pay but they are spread out in the company including pink ghetto.

but funny thing is that I used to be a union president and was actually involved in equal pay calculations, in fact last week a female ex coworker of mine was complaining about her salary and i was explaining how to use salary equity laws to get a raise.

Last edited by Links17; 02-04-2016 at 06:38 PM.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 02-04-2016, 06:37 PM
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Originally Posted by The Iceberg View Post
How about registering a parents' group to help fathers (and mothers) in dealing with unfair litigation rather than an interview?
Don't underestimate the power of media and education. It can have a national impact and kickstand tonnes of those initiatives....

I just realized I can get funding for this from the CMF maybe....
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Old 02-04-2016, 11:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
Don't underestimate the power of media and education. It can have a national impact and kickstand tonnes of those initiatives....

I just realized I can get funding for this from the CMF maybe....
I wish you luck, as a single male parent I have been lucky for the most part but I totally see how the court system gives moms a little more of a chance...well the system as a whole seems to cater to females more, even the unions when it comes to seniority will give a compassionate to a female right away, when it comes to a male it seems to be more of a battle, my doctor even agreed with me the other day that its a much tougher go for a single male parent in the work force, through the courts, or for getting a little extra help or compassion in the system. Even the police smirk at you and tell you not to worry about it when you get threats of death or extreme beating from the ex and their female counterparts, the exwife even choked the crap out of the daughter and threatened to kick the living crap out of her, the daughter called 911 asap, the exwife drove off with the other younger daughter until the cops left and went back home...nothing much happened except a follow up by cfs weeks later...where the daughter was told to tell the cfs she lied about the incident, nothing else happened case closed, if it was a father the cops would be scouring the neighbourhood for him I would imagine he would be thrown in jail asap.

Maybe I am over doing it a little but I have had many more experiences where single male parent is a little more, or a lot more of an uphill battle than a female single parents battle would be. I still feel lucky for everything I have though.

Links17, you have willpower, patience, and the smarts to do what you believe in, good luck to you! Lots of good ways to share your stories with the public, you will find a good way to do it!

Last edited by undersc0re; 02-04-2016 at 11:16 PM.
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Old 02-05-2016, 01:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Links17 View Post
Don't underestimate the power of media and education. It can have a national impact and kickstand tonnes of those initiatives....

I just realized I can get funding for this from the CMF maybe....
How exactly an interview or a documentary can help people? You go on TV or w/e, you tell your story and then?

Im not against it, just think something else could work better.
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Old 02-05-2016, 10:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Iceberg View Post
How exactly an interview or a documentary can help people? You go on TV or w/e, you tell your story and then?

Im not against it, just think something else could work better.
First of all, I get famous and make a lot of money so that is great...

I am under the impression a lot of guys settle for less than shared becuase they are told mothers get sole and that's the way things are however that's not true but it takes knowledge as a start and also when litigating it is important to know what to focus on....

The documentary would just be a gateway... To those other things...

Last edited by Links17; 02-05-2016 at 11:44 AM.
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Old 02-05-2016, 11:23 AM
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What Links is proposing is not that outrageous. Is he rough around the edges about it? Sure he is .. he just exited the meat grinder and has his own subjective feelings and opinions about the family law system.

A documentary outlining the steps a father could take when he arrives home from work to no family, a slew of false allegations and 3/4 of his bank account missing .. or a father who's been locked out of his own home and suddenly has no family because mom met someone else or dislikes the relationship, etc.

Not everybody has a flying carpet like ONDaddy that wisps around the block collecting orders, CAS reports, tracing phone signals all within a day or 2, sending the mom on EOW.

In the real world we have a battle on our hands. We need evidence, access denials in writing, how to start an application, how to present in a CC or SC .. offers of settlement, parenting classes, etc. Christ, I even went for and became a certified "baby seat installation" instructor.

I know Links, everything that happened to me in the 2 years and the same posters torment me until this day.

We don't hate women. All I have is women in my life. I was raised by a single mom. I work with mostly ladies, go on coffee breaks with them, etc.

We just want a fair race for custody and perhaps some stories and rough tutorials for fathers would facilitate that. The mom's are 10 steps ahead when the father gets home to no family.

Links just wants it to be more been footing by educating what steps to take.

Why not women too? The advice given can be used by mothers also of course ... but lets face it, men don't usually call 911, report abuse, lock the doors and say "no access" as often as mom's. We also dont have Shelter's and counselor's paving the way for us. We're the "tough" gender who arn't allowed to cry, show pain, etc.

I'm not a misogynist at all. Women ROCK. But Link's idea isn't all that outlandish and evil. It would be educational, informative and would probably shorten the line ups at FLIC and save money on lawyers.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 02-05-2016 at 11:25 AM.
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Old 02-05-2016, 01:32 PM
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I'd be interested in watching a documentary about the divorce industry but not if it was gender biased and focused on men and not the whole problem.

I have a number of friends who are highly earners than their male spouses and are screwed right now. One of my friends has 4 kids and is about to lose her house due to a 2nd husband who literally turned into a leech right after she married him.

I'd be very interested in seeing a documentary about vexatious litigations and how the court system coddles aholes....whatever gender they are.

Last edited by Pursuinghappiness; 02-05-2016 at 01:36 PM.
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Old 02-05-2016, 01:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OntarioDaddy View Post
Not everyone is a parent like ONDaddy.
Ego much? I forget .. did WorkingDad circle the block getting orders, CAS reports and kid back in a day like a blockbuster film .. or not? WorkingDad, LF32 and many other fathers just cant live up to the legend that is ONDaddy.

BTW .. CAS takes a lot longer for an investigation than what you said (few hours), especially when child abuse is alleged. Then they have to prepare a letter to close the file and mail it to both parties. Please ONDaddy ..I urge you to stop pretending.

Quote:
I was a little excited when this had a change of being gender neutral, but not anymore.
I already typed that mom's could use the info just as effectively.

There are many threads and stickies here for women (abuse, where to go to get help, etc). No Gender neutrality there. What would the problem be with a little informative viewing to assist dad's who went through what many of us have? I'll tell you what .. nothing! And that does NOT mean I have anything against women by offering a service to dad's. Why jump to that conclusion?

Quote:
The parents who pay a lawyer to tell them they shouldn't parent will find no value in this documentary. Explaining your techniques on avoiding court won't help either.
Yep .. Dont get a lawyer. Listen to ONDaddy .. because his story make so much sense.

I dont believe Links nor I have ever said "avoid court". But you're wrong....ATTEMPTS to avoid court Do help you. Show the courts that you're the reasonable one, you tried to settle, you were an equal primary caregiver .. you NEVER acquiescenced to the newly stolen status quo and prove it.

In fact the LSUC code of professional ethics encourages the above (settlement, saving courts time/money, etc. As does the Primary Objectives of the CLRA.

Had I listened to ONDaddy I wouldn't have had the results I have now. No war, no trial .. amicable with ex and got the 50/50, finances, etc I sought from the beginning.

Don't be fooled by some posters ... a documentary would be about those who "actually" went through it.

I like Pursuing Happiness' idea also. How to deal with A'holes in and out of court .. man or woman.

Last edited by LovingFather32; 02-05-2016 at 01:46 PM.
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Old 02-05-2016, 03:10 PM
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Children! Grandma says play nice.
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Old 02-05-2016, 03:11 PM
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Instead of focusing on a gender battle as has happened on dozens of other threads - I'm pretty sure you all know eachothers opinions on that BS by now, don't you? - why not actually provide constructive advice which could asist in the project if its something he really wants to do?

While public perception on it is changing, if extremely slowly, the reality is, when faced with the prospect of divorce, spousal support, child support, and child custody, men believe,they have an uphill battle when it comes to these things, and that they don't have much of a chance. Resulting in many not even trying to fight it, though that is just a personal observation.

For one of the equality topics brought up in this thread, income disparity between sexes for the same job, the biggest factor in eliminating this was/would be establishing the public perception that there is absolutly not reason for this to occur. Once that began to happen, the problem began to shrink.

The same perception needs to be brought to the general public in this country, in order for equality to happen in divorce as well. If men weren't convinced that they were going to lose, or get less than they should/deserve, before the process even begins, then I believe there would be a lot less kids growing up seeing their fathers a few days a month.

In my own experience, when people find out my custody situation (50%, week on week off with the kids) the majority of the time, man or woman, their response is "Oh thats so nice of your ex-wife to allow that!". Its absolutely maddening to confront that attitude, as I had to fight tooth and nail for months before she gave up her plans of getting full custody and moving clear across the country with our kids. In comparison to many of the stories here, my situation was 'easy'.

Do some women face the same situation that the majority of men seem to encounter when it comes to divorce? Absolutely. Do they start off believing that the system is against them and biased in favour of their former partner? Generally not.

Actual constructive advice on the project - If you were to do this, and focused on say 5 seperate situations, avoid gender biased language, but have one of those 5 be on a woman facing the same issues, or as close as you can find. It would help to reduce the sort of arguments and flames your seeing here already.

I don't personally believe that many women need to be shown they can get at least a fair outcome from the divorce system, but not showing a female perspective risks your message getting derailed by 'gender wars' which is exactly what's happening here.
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