Do you think that woman receive preferential treatment

[dadtotheend]

Originally Posted by representingself

There must have been something seriously wrong with your ex that would bring a Judge to take an 18 month old baby away from its mother.

The judge didn't take the baby away. When we separated she moved out of the house and we initially had more or less equal time with them, but then she did go off the rails with addictions/mental health issues. After an OCL investigation recommnended sole custody for me, the writing was on the wall and we settled without a trial.

Unfortunately, the presumption that 18 month old "babies" need their mother more than their father is at the heart of the question posed in this thread. I don't buy it - not for one minute.

It's the involvement that the parent has in the child's day to day life that is important - and I was the primary caregiver. As I have said elsewhere in this forum, the fact is that Mom's still do most of the primary caregiving these days and that is what drives the decision to award custody to Mom in 80% of the cases. It's should not automatically be assumed that Mom should be favoured in caring for kids, no matter their age - and yes, that includes breast feeding mothers.

[Jupitor]

Originally Posted by Stargate

The current flawed system of awarding child custody to the mothers nearly 80% of the time needs to change. Ditto with the current flawed child support guidelines need to be completely redone as they have in Australia where a FAR more equitable solution/approach to these issues has been implemented. Canada needs to step up to the plate. The Courts need to step up to the plate and politicians need to step up and rewrite family laws.

Very well said. Does anyone know if this issue has been challenged in Parliament. What would be required to change to the laws, to correct this issue and to make it more fair?

[Stargate]

Originally Posted by Jupitor

Very well said. Does anyone know if this issue has been challenged in Parliament. What would be required to change to the laws, to correct this issue and to make it more fair?

Until we can get politicians that are not "girly-men" this injustice will continue to fester and cause undue hardship for NCP. We have to implement a new system and update these draconian laws currently in the family law books of Canada.

Best way to bring attention to this subject that affects nearly 50% of divorced people in Canada is to write to reporters both for both TV and newsprint media such as all the major national and local newspapers as well as national TV programs such as "The Fifth Estate" on CBC.

Unless WE the people start taking action rather than complaining about the situation nothing will change.

[billiechic]

Originally Posted by dadtotheend

T
Unfortunately, the presumption that 18 month old "babies" need their mother more than their father is at the heart of the question posed in this thread. I don't buy it - not for one minute.

It's the involvement that the parent has in the child's day to day life that is important - and I was the primary caregiver. As I have said elsewhere in this forum, the fact is that Mom's still do most of the primary caregiving these days and that is what drives the decision to award custody to Mom in 80% of the cases. It's should not automatically be assumed that Mom should be favoured in caring for kids, no matter their age - and yes, that includes breast feeding mothers.

Finally someone who can see the whole issue clearly!

18 month-old babies need someone to care for and love them. Someone who can depended on to be there. Good for you.

[Stargate]

Children need BOTH parents after a divorce. That should never be limited to who took care of the children more during the marriage. That argument simply doesn't hold water in my books. While all other assets of the marriage are split in half following a divorce so should the children.

But with womens' rights movement and girly men politicians you end up with the currently flawed system and laws governing CS and child custody.

[billiechic]

Nobody has said that they don't think parents should have equal time with their children.

Dadtotheend said "Mom's still do most of the primary caregiving these days and that is what drives the decision to award custody to Mom in 80% of the cases." THIS is what is CAUSING the preferential treatment.

The questions is whether there is preferential treatment, NOT if we agree with it. The whole premise with it being preferential indicates that it is biased!!!

[Jupitor]

Originally Posted by dadtotheend

I got sole custody of our children, who were 18 mths and almost 4 yrs old when we separated.

Of course women are treated preferentially but a resourceful, persistent, child centred father who leaves no stone unturned can and will prevail when the circumstances warrant it.

BTW, mom's are awarded custody in 80% of cases, not over 90% as mentioned earlier. It's in the research if one takes the time to review it. This Dad did.

Hi,
I would be interested to know more about what was involved in gaining shared custody. How does one research the subject of achieving custody?

[Stargate]

Originally Posted by Jupitor

Hi,
I would be interested to know more about what was involved in gaining shared custody. How does one research the subject of achieving custody?

The best 'research' you can do is see a family lawyer and get a free 1/2 hr consultation.

[Jupitor]

Originally Posted by Stargate

The best 'research' you can do is see a family lawyer and get a free 1/2 hr consultation.

Can someone recommend a good, well recommended lawyer in the central area of Ottawa. Being male, should I be looking for a male lawyer?

[dadtotheend]

Originally Posted by Stargate

The best 'research' you can do is see a family lawyer and get a free 1/2 hr consultation.

And read read read read read read read