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Political Issues This forum is for discussing the political aspects of divorce: reform to divorce laws, men's rights, women's rights, injustices in the divorce system, etc.

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 12-19-2013, 12:28 AM
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Wow. It never ceases to amaze me how people can get so nasty. Unless your partner has been abusing you then why would you bother going to such extremes. I would think that those partners who are in a very scary relationship. ( and that is not only women) would likely just run with the clothes on their backs and not worry about the material side of things. So what motivates these " house clearers". Greed ? Revenge? A sense of entitlement?

I am rather of the opinion that the " golf club" option would give more pleasure and a lot less work then lugging a bunch of furniture out the door, which would only have memories attached to it. I am very particular about the bed I sleep in and would not,want one I shared with some loser!

I do not understand how they get away with it.
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 12-19-2013, 12:40 AM
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I believe that when equalization takes place, an approximate value of the household furnishings would be considered.

I recall at the time of my divorce my lawyer was surprised that my ex and I weren't fighting about the "stuff." In our case it was simple. He came over one day and we walked through the house and he indicated what he wanted. Movers came the next week and moved everything. He got off easy as I packed everything up for him. Why people put so much effort into trying to screw the other person out of USED crap is beyond me.


I do recall handing a green garbage bag full of trash to one of the movers so one of the first things he would have unpacked was the garbage.
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Old 12-19-2013, 10:00 AM
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Our separation of stuff was simple as well. After being released from jail, the EX came by the house accompanied by 2 officers, spend 30 minutes gathering up whatever he could cart away and left me in peace. I had already boxed/bagged whatever was his and left it on the front porch.

Actually I am looking forwards to the day when he will clear out the garage of all his crap and have included this in my offer to settle. Most of the furniture (antiques) was mine before marriage and there's no way he's getting any of those family heirlooms.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2014, 02:11 PM
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my ex would probably take the cake

1- i had a court order allowing me to go inside the place to pickup my belongings with two officers. when the officers informed her of me going in she stated " the court order allows him to come in, it dosnt direct me to let him come in, therefore i am not allowing him in" the officers agreed that the court order dosnt direct her and therefore they cannot enforce it upon her.

2- then she told my friends to come over and pickup my stuff, instead of giving them my stuff she used them to clean up whatever garbage she would have to throw out otherwise. whatever few electronics she returned, she removed parts of them rendering them useless.

3- she also stole the entire gold our family had and blamed that me and my parents were keeping it "back home" even though it was in a locker here which only she had access to and was only in her name

4- she then moved to a new place with all my belongings & common items, once the judge cut off her SS & reduced the CS i was paying, she decided to abandon our son, sell all of mine and our son's belongings including our son's bed, high chair, stroller etc and then calll me "hey if you want his stuff come and collect it" i went there to pickup our son's stuff only to find garbage that she didnt want (except few used toys). worst part, she wanted me to either take the garbage or dump it outside (like seriously? you sell my stuff, pocket the money and then have me dump the garbage for you? crazy bitch)
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Old 01-12-2014, 03:50 PM
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Quote:
instead of giving them my stuff she used them to clean up whatever garbage she would have to throw out
So she is a user i.e. likes to take advantage

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whatever few electronics she returned, she removed parts of them rendering them useless.
Nice...that is the behaviour of a rational, sane, cooperative, non-malicious person. NOT

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she also stole the entire gold our family had and blamed that me and my parents were keeping it "back home" even though it was in a locker here which only she had access to and was only in her name
Takes the term "gold digger" to stratospheric levels

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once the judge cut off her SS & reduced the CS i was paying, she decided to abandon our son,


Say what?????????

Oh no she didn't

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sell all of mine and our son's belongings including our son's bed, high chair, stroller etc
Is this a joke, are we being punked.....surely you are making all this up?

Just when you hear one story, and you think you've seen it all, something like this pops up like a bat out of hell.....I am gobsmacked!
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you sell my stuff, pocket the money and then have me dump the garbage for you? crazy bitch)
Now Now....don't go be reducing yourself to her level, tell yourself that you are bigger than that. Let her act like a child / high school like, and you take the road less dramatic. Others around will be able to see who the reasonable / sane one is.


Closing words......I think based on all the stories about people calling the police, the drama, things being shoved on the street etc. It will be wise of anybody getting into any new relationship i.e. it behooves you to do your due diligence and study the way the "potential partner" is handling / handled their separation/divorce before you jump in.......because if you look in the mirror, that could potentially be life imitating art for you in the future. Well of course you can ignore it at your own peril

Drama fix for the day:

I just came back from store xyz, and this couple were going at it in the middle of the aisle....he kept ignoring her and she was raising her voice saying...."do you want to shop by yourself, why don't you give me the keys to the car" raising her voice in the process...blah blah

Could you imagine that kind of scene..I didn't envy that fella one iota, and you can bet you xxxxx that wasn't the last of it.

Last edited by FWB; 01-12-2014 at 03:59 PM.
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2014, 04:34 PM
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A few months before kicking my ex out of the house I recall an argument. We were at first arguing in our home. We needed to go to the grocery store. Once we got to the grocery store (I recall we were beside the apples) my ex turned around and hit me in the face. I ran out of the store to the car. We went home and my ex continued the argument. Things escalated and he trapped me in the corner of the kitchen screaming at me. What seemed like a long time (but it was likely 10 minutes) I managed to get to my office and grab my cell phone. My ex lunged over the desk at me. I got into the bathroom and call the police. He was removed from the home.

Every time I see people arguing in grocery stores it brings back memories of that day. I wonder if people thought we were just a couple having an argument over apples.....
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2014, 04:56 PM
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A few months before kicking my ex out of the house
How did you do that?

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We were at first arguing in our home. We needed to go to the grocery store.
Yellow flag

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(I recall we were beside the apples) my ex turned around and hit me in the face.


Quote:
Things escalated and he trapped me in the corner of the kitchen screaming at me. What seemed like a long time (but it was likely 10 minutes) I managed to get to my office and grab my cell phone.

My ex lunged over the desk at me. I got into the bathroom and call the police. He was removed from the home.
Wow....sounds like an episode of one those real housewives of somewhere...

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Every time I see people arguing in grocery stores it brings back memories of that day.
I can believe that. Some people just love the constant drama, and you have to feel sorry for the person that has to live with them. In the same story today...I walked past an older couple, the husband was trying to tell her to look at xyz that can go into a spot in their basement, when she eventually acknowledged what husband was showing her, she talked down to him like he was some kid. I just had to shake my head.....mutual respect obviously is missing there

The whole in public thing is what gets me.....
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2014, 05:52 PM
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I don't think people love the drama. I know I certainly didn't.

When ex was out with g/f, I simply put all of his personal belongings into green garbage bags (many), dumped them off at his work location and informed him where his clothes were and told him to not return to the home as I had changed the security code. That was a Sunday.

Monday my lawyer went to court and received an order of exclusive possession.
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Old 01-12-2014, 06:26 PM
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Some people 'do' love drama or maybe I should say that they love the excitement of a heated argument, my stbx was what you could call a control freak. Although being a coward his wrath was never directed at anyone bigger/more aggressive than himself.

To this day whenever I see couples simply arguing I become very upset. Even on TV, if there's a man getting physical or just yelling at a woman I have to turn if off - I'm probably traumatized ....

After our last argument, my lawyer had obtained an order for exclusive possession of the MH and a restraining order within 24 hours. As for the contents of the home, most of the furniture was an inheritance from my family. I was more than happy for him to have anything else - good riddance really.
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Old 01-12-2014, 06:32 PM
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I can only imagine that people arguing in public must want their audience to say "you're right" so that their counterpart will go "oh, of course, I'm wrong, didn't realize it till the audience said so, my bad."

Or it's a saving face thing. Now that people have witnessed the argument, no one wants to look weak or humiliated by backing down, so they have to escalate.
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