Divorce Law are a Joke and Dads are the Punch Line

[staysingle]

Should have stayed single !

A clear source of disagreement about SS between divorcing couples, in my experience, revolves around ....Was the decision to stay home and forego career advancement a mutually agreed one at the time. In my case I was not supportive of my wife staying home ( birth to 7 years later). I was not willing to compensate her with my future earnings in the event of a marriage breakdown. In my case I think the SS laws were an incentive for her to initiate the divorce.

I was more than willing to spend financial resources to supplement both of us parenting AND maintaining our careers.

How about a binding contract or declaration at the time children are born declaring your support or disagreement that decision was not a mutual one at the time.

And by the way, the rapidly growing trend in SS awards have woman paying their ex husbands.

[billm]

Originally Posted by staysingle

... In my case I was not supportive of my wife staying home ( birth to 7 years later). I was not willing to compensate her with my future earnings in the event of a marriage breakdown. In my case I think the SS laws were an incentive for her to initiate the divorce.

....

Yes, but you stayed in the marriage, knowing full well the risk by your won admission - which means that you did agree to it, otherwise you should have left right away.

Though you said 'incentive' - no one ends a marriage to receive SS. They may stay in one to avoid financial hardship, but they don't leave one for financial gain because it does not happen - standard of living goes down for both.

[billm]

Originally Posted by Lautario

ahhhh, thank you for all your personal attacks, the first and last refuge of people you cannot make rational arguments to defend their position..

You deny you were doing personal attacks? LOL pot calling the kettle black!

Originally Posted by Lautario

... blah blah blah

Your arguments are nonsensical and contradictory, to the point of amusement.

Originally Posted by Lautario

This includes what billm called the mutual decision for his wife (or more likely her husband)

Hey, I think this is the 3rd time I have been accused of actually being a woman posing as a man here - and again I take it as a compliment as to my gender neutral positions (well outside of the bedroom anyway )

Oops, gotta go, my is phone ringing - must be another divorced woman needing attention

[staysingle]

There was no "choice". Do I leave a young wife and newborn because maybe years from now I might get racked over for spousal support. That's absurd. Its also naive and absurd of you billm to suggest "no one ends a marriage to receive SS. Seriously, do I have to give you a dozen famous examples of such a thing.

Are you also, saying in "all marriage breakdowns" standard of living goes down for both ..really.

[billm]

Originally Posted by staysingle

There was no "choice". Do I leave a young wife and newborn because maybe years from now I might get racked over for spousal support. That's absurd.

umm, that's what YOU said - you knew that was a possibility but you chose to stay - to say that you had no choice is what is absurd.

Originally Posted by staysingle

Its also naive and absurd of you billm to suggest "no one ends a marriage to receive SS. Seriously, do I have to give you a dozen famous examples of such a thing.

Assuming that one marries because they want to be married to that person, then yes no one leaves BECAUSE OF SS, they leave because they don't want to be married to that person. They may have stayed if there was no SS, but that is a side issue, not the reason they want out. In fact that would be worse for everyone - staying because you don't want to deal with the economics of leaving.

And either way - 'famous examples' do not really reflect on most people.

Originally Posted by staysingle

Are you also, saying in "all marriage breakdowns" standard of living goes down for both ..really.

Yes, almost impossible otherwise, unless things change.

I'm doing okay because my ex is now working and was not before, so other than loosing half my net worth (well you know, what felt like my net worth), my standard of living is about the same - even though I pay CS and SS. However at this point in my life I was kind of expecting to have a higher standard of living as my ex would have been working even if married still.

[staysingle]

Good for you billm.

Your world view of family law is much too absolute and generalized for me engage much further. People do things and make choices for a multitude of reasons, marriage and divorce is no different.

That being said, I can barely figure what goes on in my life and try and refrain from claiming any understanding of others outcomes.

I will however continue to be upset and vocal about a system, family law, that is structurally destructive and corrupt to the core.

Tolstoy succinctly remarked in the opening lines of Anna Karenina " Happy families are alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way"

[Gary M]

Originally Posted by billm

Though you said 'incentive' - no one ends a marriage to receive SS. They may stay in one to avoid financial hardship, but they don't leave one for financial gain because it does not happen - standard of living goes down for both.

Heh ... Tell that to Paul McCartney, et.al.

Cheers!

Gary

[LostFather]

Originally Posted by Gary M

Heh ... Tell that to Paul McCartney, et.al.

Cheers!

Gary

lmao. Ha I am a little behind on the joke. Hilarious just through same.

[winterwolf7]

While I was packing up my stuff to move into my tiny basement bedroom apartment, I found my old cheque book in a drawer. Turns out I was always paying my ex spouse around $1600 per month even while married. I have almost a hundred cashed cheques to prove it.

Obviously her standard of living has NOT decreased because she is still receiving $1600 per month from me. But because she isn't employed she also receives hundreds of dollars per month from the government. She also didn't need to worry about savings because she took every penny we had ever saved. She also got back all of her families money out of the house, etc etc. Basically gets $100k while I got around $20k and I have to live on half my previous salary.

Sorry but at least in my case, my ex won the lottery at my expense.

[Dick Smith]

Really?
How about posting the links to these cases?
Legal commentators have made a point for at least the last 12 years
that hardly ever do you see a man receiving spousal support from a woman.
It's almost unheard of. It's extremely rare, its NOT a "rapidly growing trend".
That is nonsense.

The trend in court is for more Male Sharia Law and more technical tools being used to throw fathers out of court and change wealth from men to women to such an extent that it puts most men into poverty while she ends up with four or more times the disposable income.

Take a look at the research done by Peter Roscoe up www. OttawaMensCentre.com

Originally Posted by staysingle

Should have stayed single !


And by the way, the rapidly growing trend in SS awards have woman paying their ex husbands.